i realize God does not want us to be UNHAPPY OR SAD all the?

Question

time...BUT MY GIRLFRIEND is in this horrific situation...her husband was brain damaged SEVERLY...and she had two children to raise..he cannot help her...HIS FAMILY BACKS HER UP...re: putting him in a home so she can raise the children...SHE IS SOOOO THIN AND VERY DEPRESSED ABOUT IT>>>>SHE WILL not be able to honor her vows...but this is a WORST CASE SCENERIO??? what would you do??? I REALIZE you are not in her situation??? TRY TO IMAGINE...honest answers only please!!!

Answer 1

Tough question. If he's brain damaged to the point where he doesn't recognize her or acknowledge her, if it were me, I'd take time to really reflect and consider my losses either way, but I probably would divorce him. But if he's in a wheel chair and functioning normally otherwise, I'd stick it out. A marriage takes two. Some things are just changes in our paths, challenges to overcome and become stronger because of them.

Answer 2

First I would ask your girlfriend what SHE wants to do because if your friend wants to stay by her husband's side then that may be between her, God and her husband. It's not what WE would do but what she BELIEVES she should do. Devotion and love to others,when we are looking in, makes them look stupid, crazy or so depressed that they can't think straight. It's not exactly fair to ask others what they would do; that would be like trying to gather popular opinion on someone elses life for you to use to influence them to do something. There are so many people who are living their lives and suffering for one reason or another and that is their right but until someone ASK you to help them out or if they are hurting others such as other innocent people, what they should do regardless of how much you love them...you must in a case like this be the best friend you think you are and support her through this valley without trying to influence her in such a way that may cause her to do something that will make her feel guilty on top of her depression because it just may send her right on over the edge. I'm well aware of how hard it is to watch someone suffer as your friend is and I commend you for being normal in your desires to help her but I believe that you must recognize your boundaries and do the best you can and maybe help her by baby sitting, cooking, cleaning, or just being there and sometimes crying with her and continue to encourage her and commending her. It's hard watching this take place isn't it? Iam so sorry. God Bless the both of you and her family.

Answer 3

She needs to find comfort in friends, not comfort that comes from "a partner" but just friends. Friendship and God go hand in hand and she needs someone to talk to and having that person listen completely and give feedback when needed only. I think if she is truly in love with her huspand she will honor her vows. I have already decided my vows I made are perment, no matter what, even if he is paralyzed. He is still my huspand and that is all that matters. I may be crazy but God knows how I feel about marriage.

Answer 4

I think she should seek counseling and do whatever she must do to raise her children and go on with her life. Life can be very sad at times and unhappy. We have to try to make the best of it. I AM SORRY THAT SWEET___GUY is unhappy and sad as well. I hope things go better for your friend in the future.

Answer 5

I like your honesty part on answers. I do not have a honest answer, because I am not in your shoes. I am sure there is counselling available for depressed people, and I hope that she gets some soon before it is too late. I wish you and everyone the best, and I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 6

i would put him in a home where he could get the care he needed, not to say she is not doing all she can do. but she is still in need of a relationship, still needs love and kindness from someone. if it were me i would place him in a home and go on with my life, mean as it sounds, i think most of us would do the same. she needs to be there for her children, hard enough with no dad in the home. due to her circumstances there is nothing wrong with placing him, and going on with life, what else can she do? what choice does she have? it was nothing she planned to happen to her, but she needs a life too, and should never feel guilty about her choice, she should not let others down her, or find fault with her. especially if they aren't in her shoes. good luck

Answer 7

If she can not physically handle caring for her husband there is nothing wrong with putting him in a home. BUT check the laws of your state regarding everything financial in doing this, she may be worse of financially by doing this. However, my mother is a hospice nurse and much is gained by caring for a loved one, we may not know the benefits until after they are gone but there are benefits. She needs to weigh it all out, she must remain healthy to take care of the kids. It is dishonoring your vows if you need medical help and can't manage his size by yourself.

Answer 8

Honor my vows in sickness and in health suffering is not so bad. Be thankful to suffer it is a reminder of what Jesus has done for us.

Answer 9

Your friend need to ask God for the strength to get through this horrible time she is going through. She is lucky to have a friend like you and try to help her cope. Invite her to church. She needs Gods help right now.

Answer 10

i know of people who honored their vows of marriage till death due us part. God is the potter that puts back the broken, loves the unloved , heals the sick, all through their faith in him. remember he and only he knows how much we, who believe can bear.