I have a child with a man that is married (In which I did not know until after my child was conceived). He was providing and taking care of my daughter. But me and this guy was dating for 6months b4 I got pregnant, And I fell in love with him. My daughter is now 9 months old and until Dec 1st his wife had no Idea I nor My child existed. Well to make a long story short we live in the same small town and I keep asking him when was he going to tell his wife, (He said we didn't have to hurt anyone thats innocent)Well I feel my daughter is innocent as well and I felt he was getting the best of both worlds, So I called his wife and let her in our secret. Would you forgive me? And How would you feel about me after that?
2007-01-12 12:20:38 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you are hurting a lot, understandably. This man is the creep who has to answer to his wife for his misdemeanors, he has a lot of work to do to protect those people involved in this situation.I would not recommend a relationship with him as I feel that he has some issues with women.
Be kind to yourself these guys rely on the silence of their girlfriends/wives to continue to misuse people.He seems to be pretty narcissistic you may appreciate the following links below.
Learn and move on and never give your power over to anyone who could abuse you in this way.
Best wishes
2007-01-12 13:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by dragon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let me start off by saying I what's done is already done and there's nothing we can do about it.
Now If I was a man ( your baby daddy ) I would not forgive you. Not one bit. But I'm still apart of your life because we have a child together and I can't avoid you because you'll get the judge involved, right? Right.
Now as a woman ( what I really am ) I would say you did the right thing. Did he really think that he could hold this little situation for 18 years? I think not. I do not believe that you didn't know he was married. That I won't believe. And even if you didn't know he was married, you knew there was someone else. Ok.
So as a man I wouldn't forgive you.
As a woman I think you did the right thing. He knew he was married and married people make a commitment. He should of kept his legs close and you should learn from this.
2007-01-12 12:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was his place to tell his wife, when he was ready or when she found a letter from the courthouse about child support payments or whatever. His business. So what if he was getting the best of both worlds? Was your telling his wife retaliation or was it meant to benefit anyone (think about this long and hard)? Yes your daughter is innocent, and she does deserve to have her father in her life, if that's what this is really all about. He has to decide whether he wants to be in her life as her daddy or not. His only legal obligation is what the courts decide. Obviously, the relationship between you and the baby's father is overwith, or absolutely should be. You must know by now that it's a waste of time pursuing a married man. The facts speak for themselves.
2007-01-12 12:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Years ago I dated a married man. Dated him for nearly a year. I knew he was married but he was with me 6 out of 7 days a week. Knew there were problems with his marriage. At the end of the year he decided to make his marriage work again. I respected that and slowly and sadly tried to move on. Then found out he was in a nearby town with another gal. I called his wife and told her. They got a divorce and I didn't hear from him until 7 years later. One day he called me up apologized for how he treated me. He kept calling every so often for the next 3 yrs. Then after all that time we met up. I was sad to see the peson he turned into. Felt somewhat responsible. he used to have it more together, now he was a shell of the person he once was. He did forgive me it just took years.
2007-01-12 16:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by Kay N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A small town and yet you didn't know this guy was married? That doesn't make any sense. In the 6 months you were together surely you saw him out with another woman, which should have given you a clue. His wife deserved to know the truth. At least now she knows she needs to be checked for std's because if he had no problem fooling around with one person how many other afairs has he had?
2007-01-12 17:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by precious1too 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it do not matter if he forgive you are not because he was not looking at the hold picture your feeling or his child! the question should be baby will you for give me! because I did not tell you about I had a wife! so both you the wife and the baby is innocent! see the baby will come up short out of all of this because she may not be able to see her dad like she use to! because the wife have the say so! then by you living in a small town she have to deal with people talking! so you see the baby going to have it hard! so you have a lot to think about!
2007-01-12 12:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who do you want forgiveness from the cheating husband or his wife? Because you probably won't get it from either one.
Why would a woman forgive you for trying to steal her husband (you carried on with the affair even after you found out he was married).
Why would the man forgive you for breaking up his marriage by telling his wife the truth that he is a Lying Cheating Dog?
The only thing you can hope for is that he will take care of the baby you and him made together. Go to Friends of The Court.
Now would you really want to be with a Lying Dog who cheats on his wife. If you got with him it's only a matter of time before he cheats on you too.
2007-01-12 12:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would not make a difference. The man probably wouldn't, since now his wife knows of his infidelity and he lost the best of both worlds. If he cheated, his unfaithfulness will prove his forgiveness.
Now the man can help pay for this child to grow up. The child may not know much about his father but at least the child will get help, I hope.
2007-01-12 13:36:24 · answer #8 · answered by n9wff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were dating a man for six months in a small town, and never knew he was married? It never struck you as odd that he didn't want you at his house at certain times? If it's such a small town, how did you date him at all? Surely, if he had any sense, he'd have suspected that someone might see him with you and tell his wife. It would seem to me that a husband keeping something from his wife in a small town would meet you in secret, and you'd have to be pretty stupid to not realize that he was doing this. I'm sorry, but this question sounds like a fraud to me. I don't believe that anyone can be that stupid, even in a small town.
2007-01-12 12:27:18 · answer #9 · answered by baka_otaku30 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing and I wouldn't let anyone tell you otherwise. In the end you were thinking about his wife and your child. If my husband cheated on me i would want to know even if that ment the other woman told me. Thats up to them to work out. You need to look out and take care of your beautiful child. Make sure that he helps take care of your daughter because she is his. Good Luck!
2007-01-12 12:43:48 · answer #10 · answered by flowerintherain02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋