HELP my 17 year old cousin is pregnant and i reallyneed answers. it will mean aot to me if you can thank you?

Question

i have a 17 year old cousin and she is pregnant. she wants to get and abortion but i keep telling her no. but she just ignores me. how can i get her to listen to me. i think she is to far along to get an abortion. she is 2 months prenant. isnt that to far along to have an abortion. please i really need to tel her not to get ne. any ay i can help her. ps she lives with me and my family. thank you all so very much. it means alot to me.

Answer 1

This is going to be gruesome but I am going to share my abortion experience...PASS IT ON!
Unless you can afford general anesthetic you are awake for the entire proceedure and often they do not use enough local for you not to feel everything too.
So anyhow first they take you into a room, just like the kind you have a pap-smear in and put you on an exam table and put you in sturups, just like you're having a pelvic exam, then they take this long needle and stab your vagina with it which hurts like hell then they put in the local anesthetic, this whole time the butcher and his "Nurse" will probably be talking amongst themselves like your not there. Then they will stick a hook up inside you and wiggle it around, you'll feel a tearing sensation and you might even hear a pop or a ripping sound. Then you will fell warmth between your legs and hear a roar as they fire up the vaccuum that will suck our your baby, you'll hear grinding noises at it cuts the childs tiny body into shreds. You will feel the life literally being torn out of you. Heaven forbid you should cry or scream they are terribly unsympathetic, did I mention you can't take anyone in with you for support?
Or the fact a childs heart begins to beat and they brain is formed with in the first month of life.
By week five from your last period your child has a beating heart!!!!!!!!
Did I also mention that when you do decide to have a child every time you look into his or her face you wonder about that child that you should have had...mine should have been six right now...knowing the fathers family genetics like I do My child would have been a boy...We named him Brandon Jacob...His Birthday would have been in October...The son I have now should have been my second...Did I also mention I have had problems carrying babies to term? My son was a twin and I lost the other, and I've miscarried. Oh and My placenta from my current child didn't detatch from my uterus wall right and I almost bled to death, all of which my doctor attributed to my abortion. Oh and at the birth of my son, when I applied for his birth certificate I had to relive my abortion because they ask you about previous pregnancies and how they ended, something about information for the government.
Now don't get me wrong I have forgiven my self, but I do take every opportunity I can to help girls understand that abortion is not a quick fix, it has lasting results and it is not as easy or as painless as they would like you to believe.

PS WHATEVER SHE DECIDES ENCOURAGE HER TO GET INTO COUNCILING, EITHER WAY SHE'LL HAVE ISSUES SHE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH.

Answer 2

Ok, I am going to try to give a non-bias response. As far as time line goes, She can get an abortion performed up until she is 21 weeks along medically. You will have to check with your state laws and ordinances for how far along she can be where you are. The main thing you will need to do in this situation is support her. She is under a lot of stress and is confused. It sounds like you are being a great mother figure for her. Let her know that you support HER but not her DECISION. No matter what she does she is going to need your love. If she thinks that you aren't going to be there for her then it may foster harsh feelings and a stronger desire to do the procedure. It's a tough road you are on. Good Luck!

Answer 3

There isn't much you can say to prevent her from doing what she feels in the best thing. You can only tell her how you feel. She is not too far along to have an abortion. I think the farthest you can be is like 13 or 14 weeks which works out to be 3 and a half months along. Some places depending where you live will even preform one later on in pregnancy. Good luck with this I hope it all works out!

Answer 4

No she is not too far along. You are doing the right thing though by talking to her. I think you should put your self in that position, would you keep the baby? HONESTLY?? If yes then you can convence her. Tell her all of the bad stuff about an abortion. It could make her never be able to have a baby if she wanted one. The worst side affect would be that she will never forgive herself. She will remember on every birthday of that child what his or her age would be. She will feel bad like she murdered someone. She will be depressed for a long time maybe forever. That is what happend to a friend of mine. I think you should tell her to have the baby, and if she still does not want the baby to put him or her up for adoption, there are a lot of couples that would love to be parents. Good Luck you can do it!

Answer 5

Well you need to just keep talking to her and let her know that
you and the family are there to help her. Also let her know that
when she or anyone has an abortion they kill a real life fetus, that
has a heart beat. tell her it is not that bad to raise a kid at that age. I'm not sure if her boy-friend is till with her, but if he is still
around then he too can help out. My daughter pregnant at the age of 17 1/2 and delivered her first child at 18 and now she has
another child and she is a year old. I have two beauitful girls
(grand-daughters) and my daughter is now 22. she and her
baby daddy is still together is going to be 5 years next month.
They are both engaged to be married, but has not yet set a date
due to money wise. And you know how that goes. Tell her it isn't
as hard as it seems, and if she chooses not to have a child because she not ready, there is other ways. she can give her
child up for adoption like, give the child to your family, by going to
court sign legal papers so everything is documented. And at least
the baby will stay in the family. If not temporary custody with
your family with foster care until she is old enough and mature
enough to take care of herself and the baby. she is old enough
to get a job to start buying stuff for the baby. She too will be needing something while pregnant like maturnity clothing. Just
try to presuded her to have this lovely baby of her's and not
to aboard the child because she will regret it for the rest of her
life.

Answer 6

8 weeks is not to far but it is wrong because the baby is living inside her and the heart beats etc. Show her some pics from online..look on google.com and type in abortion or abortion videos and procedures etc. It will show and say everything about what will happen during an abortion at 8 weeks. This way she can have a clear mind of what she is getting herself into. The problem nowdays is girls dont know what goes on during an abortion and they dont know how far along grown the baby really is even at 5 weeks. Have a long talk with her. Help her get to the free clinic so she can get checked,listen to the babys heartbeat etc. This will also help. Also,try and reasure her that she can and will be able to get on medicaid which will cover her ENTIRE pregnancy,check ups,ultrasounds,prescriptions,delivery. There is help such as WIC for the babys formula and food for herself. Her babys doc appts. will be fully paid through medicaid also. take her to the mall to look at baby clothes and toys,let her watch a video about motherhood,just be there for her and let her know u are there to help as well as the government if she needs it.there are plenty of young mothers out there that do just fine. I hope she changes her mind..Good Luck and just keep trying..she may change her mind.

Answer 7

8 weeks is not too far along for most clinics to do an abortion. No, I am not condoning this. If she's capable of being careless enough to get herself into the situation, then she's capable of dealing with the consequences. Remind her that the baby's heart starts beating at around 9 days. So, yes, that child IS alive.

Since she is a minor, I think (not positive) that she needs to have an adult present. Her legal guardian, I believe, whoever that happens to be.

Sit her down and talk to her about her other options. Look into local adoption agencies. It's possible to do an open adoption and get to know the adopted parents beforehand, just to make sure her child will go to a good home. Get pamphlets and other information about the development of a fetus in the first trimester.

It's blackmail, sort of, but she needs to face her responsibility. Like I said, if she's old enough to have sex, she's old enough to deal with the consequences. Tell her she needs to face up and deal with it like an adult. You can't always get rid of your mistakes.

Answer 8

I am pretty positive they do abortions up to 20 weeeks which is crazy. They do it that far along b/c women get there ultrasounds around 18 weeks to make sure everything is ok with the baby. If there is a defect with the baby the mother may choose to abort it.

Answer 9

I can honestly relate to your cousin and to you, i am 32 weeks pregnant and I'm also a teen, i think that the best thing you can do for your cousin is to sit down with her and let her know that your not pushing her, weigh all of her options let her know that its many resources out there for teen moms that an abortion is not her only means of solving the problem but in the end it is ultimately her choice and her decision she will have to live with the decision she makes forever, all i can say is not to badger her but to be there for her because she is scared and really needs support . good luck!!

Answer 10

first of all i commend you for sticking up for the unborn fetus' life...and to expand on that,you are also trying to prevent emotional pain an abortion will bring on your cousin. I had an abortion when I was your cousins age and it is an incredibly intrusive procedure(physically) while on a subconscious level (emotionally and/or spiritually) the guilt,blame,doubt is so tangible that it remains in you long after the procedure being a double whammy of painful....on some level,two people die that day - your fetus and a literal piece of you. It took a long time for me to heal and process what I went through...I dont recommend it for anyone.Please continue to counsel and encourage her to please go another route than abortion...its great that you are being a friend to her...keep talking with and loving on your cousin,as she is in what feels like the lonliest and scariest place right now. God bless all of you and best of wishes.