to stay...where are they coming from??? they do not know, only she knows?...vows sometimes HAVE TO BE BROKEN IF YOUR HUSBAND BECAME A drug addict....and you did not know it at the time...or became abusive and you did not know it at the time????why do people say..."honor your vows""..ISN;T IT ok to break in those situations???
2007-01-12 12:13:03 · 6 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ones safety and mental and physical well being is THE MOST IMPORTANT ABOVE ALL ELSE!!!! yes to your question.
2007-01-12 12:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the people who say that all the time are either old people with old fashioned values where the wife is the little woman who cooks and cleans and raises the children and the man goes out to work and is the breadwinner, or are devout Christians. There certainly are times when the vows should be broken and you have quoted two of them. Sometimes people just grow in different directions and find out they have nothing in common anymore. Marriage vows are a Godly concept anyway, and if you dont believe in God, then why get married? It is the only legal contract that is for life. Maybe if it had to be renewed every year or two people would treat their partner well for fear they wont renew the contract. When we are young and of child bearing age, we get married and have children...that is how its supposed to be to keep the world populated....but when you are young, you dont have the maturity or the experience to know what trully makes you happy and it is a very rare couple indeed who can say they have had a successful marriage...in a lot of cases they just make do because they are comfortable. In other cases they stay out of fear, eg, being abused and afraid what the other person will do if they leave. There are a lot of reasons why marriages should not continue, probably more reasons than why they should continue. The people who say honour your vows no matter what are idealistic, silly people, and obviously never experienced real pain from their spouse. Until they are in that position all they will ever be able to do is sit in their glass houses and throw stones. Everyone has a right to be happy and just because someone calls themselves a husband or a wife, does not give them a right to own the other person. Marriage should be about equality and both peoples feelings need to be considered. Once a spouse get absorbed with only his/her own feelings then the marriage is doomed.
I ignore these self righteous people because they really havent got a clue to what this real world is all about. Of course its OK to break these vows as no body deserves to be treated like a second rate citizen, and nobody deserves to be hurt by their spouse whether it be physically or emotionally. Maybe the Human Rights Act should be incorportated into the Marriage vows, then maybe both parties will think twice before treating the other one badly. The Human Rights movement is huge, unfortunately it doesnt seem to apply within a marriage. Its crazy actually what some people have to endure because they sign that dotted line called the Marriage Certificate. It seems like there are two different set of rules....one for single people who have rights, and one for married people who dont seem to have any...Its crazy.
2007-01-12 20:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is OK and sometimes absolutely necessary to leave an abusive marriage or a marriage where u have to deal with an addict. can't always honor the vows, as in adultery, abuse, and something u didn't know and can't deal with. u need to be accountable for your own well being, and safety. god doesn't want us to be hurt or unhappy in life, or stay with someone who will hurt us, these are all real deal breakers. and we have to think of our own happiness, not a vow we made with someone, because when we made the vows we had every intention of keeping them, and they needed to keep theirs also, and didn't.
2007-01-12 20:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutley.
Anyone who would have you stay in a marriage in the situations you described is barbaric.
Anyways, religion (and the religious reasons for not divorcing) are all subjective. Who's to say whose religion is right on this issue?---as though anyone's God would want you to subject yourself to a nightmarish marriage!
2007-01-12 20:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is it's to easy to get a divorce nowadays. Those examples you gave are legit reasons to leave but, to many people don't try to make it work. Why try to save a marriage, when that cute guy/girl "I" work with is flirting with me!
2007-01-12 20:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by Fab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes of course there are situations where it is okay to get a divorce.
2007-01-12 21:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by littleone84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋