To forget the past, the pain, the anguish, the anger, the wrongs done to you AND by you? How one stops blaming oneself for what cannot be changed anymore but still weights heavily on one's mind? How to learn to forgive oneself? How to learn to be not perfect?
2007-01-12 10:47:16 · 35 answers · asked by oksana_rossi 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Each day is literally a new beginning. You have to find the courage to resist the tempation to fall back into the same old same old pattern of life. Break new groud. Make some changes. Make some BIG changes. There is nothing keeping you in your rut other than you.
Learn a new language. Move to a new country. Learn a sport or a musical instrument. Read a book or better yet write one. Artistic expression has served as a release for pain and anguish for millenia - and it works!
Don't avoid the skeletons in your closet because they will just come back to haunt you - find the courage to look them in the eye, they're really not that scary. Better yet take your skeletons out of the closet and dance with them and when you are done they will have less power over you.
You can't erase your memories but you can learn to live with them. However don't dwell on the past for too long because its the future that matters...
2007-01-12 10:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by megalomaniac 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the same person starts life anew chances are the same results will occur. Not to promote christianity but to use as an example christ said that "you must be born again, and then all things will be new". Not an exact quote but I think the meaning is clear. You must change as a person on the inside and mean it. Life is a long road until you get to the end of it. One step at a time takes you a step further from your problem.
2007-01-12 11:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I am not the religious type, but I have heard that this is why a lot of people get into religion. You could write a list of all the things you've done that are bad in your life and make a point to go to the church every day and confess one sin at a time. While doing this, go out and do lots of good things for our world, and the people on it. Volunteer, donate money, blood, time, food, whatever. Do things that are better for our earth, recycle everything, only eat organic, Go Green, just do everything you can to help yourself feel better mentally. Unfortunately, you can never erase these things but you can learn to deal with them and get over them. If you cannot get over these things on your own, perhaps it would be time to see a psychaitrist.
2007-01-12 10:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by summer_00_butterfly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you can start over from RIGHT NOW and go forward. This is harder than it sounds, because it involves changing habits which goes against our nature. Feeling immediately follows thought, so if you are thinking of bad, shameful, hurtful things having those thoughts will make you feel bad.
Dwelling on bad things from the past is the most negative and destructive thing I can think of. You can't change it, it happened, it formed who you are now and will always be there. But you don't have to think about it all the time and doing so will make you feel bad.
Try to focus on positive things. If you find yourself thinking of negative things conciously change your thoughts to something positive. This is harder than it sounds and you will backslide but if you keep at it over weeks, months and years your thought patterns, habits and self image will change. I've been doing this for 10 years and have never been happier...and right now I've got some rather difficult things happening in my life...but I don't let myself dwell on them, I do what I must do and focus on positive things.
On being perfect, we can only try to do our best. If it's not perfect, at least we know we did our best and that's as perfect as it gets.
2007-01-12 11:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Given the same concequences, you will probably end up in the same place that you left it, as you have no memory of the past (or the future you have lived through before) and the choices you make will again be subjected by the same events and genetic tendency which would eventually lead you back to the same path.
So in short, you can start all over again, but it'll be the same.
2007-01-12 10:52:45 · answer #5 · answered by Santino Deschain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get over it and move on. Mistakes are what we do. It helps to teach and mould us. Say sorry if you have to. Learn from your mistake, thats the best you can do there. Stop thinking about the past. Just try to make the next hour of your life great. Keep living in the present. As soon as you realise you are worrying, let it go, focus on something good. Eventually you will train your brain to stop worrying. I did it, my life is totally better. Worrying is actually a choice, you dont have to do it. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES!! (some of them are fun!)
2007-01-12 10:57:40 · answer #6 · answered by jnet 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can start your life all over again by forgiving everybody that hurt you before and all the pains you have let them go away. Also just think about your family than people aren't close to you and try to forget all the things happened bad to you!
2007-01-12 10:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by tellellamoso 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course one can start over again! It is merely the choice of the person which determines what can be done. Long-lasting celebrities do it all the time (Madonna, Sting, Cher...all these folks have re-invented themselves repeatedly, and very few parts of their pasts come back to cause problems.) People start over again all the time. I am a Katrina survivor, and I had to start again here in Orlando, as did so many people who lived in the Gulf South. It's not that difficult. The decision to completely start over again lies exclusively with you and how you choose to react to things.
Good luck!
2007-01-12 10:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by Vatican Lokey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to forget the past. It will take time, but one day you will wake up and it will hit you, "I need to pick myself up". Get a therapist. It is nice to have someone to talk to, cry to, complain to, and know that they wont say a word to anyone. You may have to go through a couple to find the one you click with. When me and my ex broke up, 12 year relationship, i was crushed. It took me about a year before I stopped blaming myself, but we both messed up. I didn't f*** it up alone. Don't harp on the past, because today is the first day of the rest of your life, and you have to believe that. Each day is a new day. I finally started dating again, and met my guy now, of 9 yrs. Just learn from your mistakes, don't hold them against yourself and dont hold the mistakes of your ex on the guy your with. Good Luck
2007-01-12 11:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by betterwithage 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's called re-inventing yourself and it takes discipline to do it, too.
I've done it. I'm not the same person I was 17 years ago because I truly wanted to change some things about myself I didn't like. It took work, too, but it is worth it. Sometimes I get pushed a little too hard and regress, but I quickly turn around and remind myself where I really want to be in my life.
2007-01-12 10:56:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋