We both know we are illegal because of our ages but it wasn't planned. We both want to keep it but he will get i trouble with the law. My parents think he is 18 and don't know I'm pregnant............. we told them he was 18 so they would let me date him and now I'm pregnant so what can i do..... please don't just say, tell your parents and all that.. i know thats what i should do but how can i tell them....... my dad is a Tampa police department officer who works under cover narcotics and my mom is a nurse at all children's hospital..... my mom always said before, if i was pregnant she would help me but i think i wanna keep the fact tat he's 20 hidden and just not talk about his age until like I'm 8 months or something and casually just slip out his real age or something like in a conversation...... idk what to do............ I'm just really confused.
2007-01-12 10:33:50 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I don't want to hear the bullshit about how bad our age difference is........ i know, and so does he, I know FOR A FACT he is sticking around. He is so serious about this...... and i want him around too..... some of u know the whole story but long story short....... my parents think he is 18 and they dont know im pregnant.... idk how to tel it to them. idk how to tell them either one. that hes 20 or that im pregnant......... i just need advice please!
2007-01-12 11:35:26 · update #1
Ok, You need to come clean and be honest about everything, that is the grown up thing to do. I suggest everyone get together, you 2, his parents and your's. Then you calmly ask them not to say anything until you are done with what you have to say. Tell them everything..his real age, about the baby and about how you 2 feel about each other, how committed you are. Before you speak to them, try to come up with a realsitic plan about how you intend to make this work and what your future plans are. If you are going to need there help until you graduate high school or at laest get your GED(don't you dare quit school! Biggest mistake you could make!), then tell them what help you need and for how long. Take responsibility and show them that you are working this out. You absolutely can't hide his age, it will come out. If you hide it, it just makes you look like an irresponsible child not ready to take responsibility. Don't start out on lies. He is old enough to legally get married and if your parents agree, they can sign for you to get married also. You must be ready to say goodbye to your childhood though, you can't get these years back. Be sure you can accept that so that you have no regrets later and take it out on your new family. You 2 made the choice to have unprotected sex so now stand up and face the parents together with honesty and respect. You made a mistake, you didn't murder anyone. They will all probably yell and be dissappointed, but deep inside I can tell you that they are mostly worried and scared for your futures. Take a deep breath and go for it! Take care! Please get prenatal care ASAP also, very important!
2007-01-12 12:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy A, RN 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm an old guy so you'll probably think I'm full of sh*t.
You are not the first girl in all the history of mankind to make a mistake like this. While most people in society think it is wrong for a 15 year old, obviously God doesn't agree. You are able to conceive children so he thinks you are old enough. Right?
Someone had to choose a minimum age for these things. I guess they decided on 18, although 16 is legal in the state of Michigan. So you see, it is all relative to your location. Girls are married as early as 10 or 12 years old in some counties.
At 18 years old, you are supposed to show some wisdom, maturity, and discretion. Unfortunately, it is not always so.
It might ease the blow if you and your boyfriend show responsibility and maturity during this time before your parents know about your predicament.
If you boyfriend doesn't have a job, he needs to get one right now. Any job is better than no job. You both need to save money. He can't spend it on partying with his friends. How angry do you think your parents will get if he is unemployed and broke?
If he is responsible and working every day, they might not get so pissed.
If your dad is a cop, then he knows by experience that things sometimes go wrong. He deals with it every day. His first reaction will be anger, but that is because he wants to protect you. If he has any wisdom and seasoning, he will eventually calm down and accept the situation. You should expect anger at the beginning so you won't be shocked.
These things have a way of working themselves out.
Like I said, you are not the first girl in history to get pregnant at an early age. Many have walked the path before you. All have survived and many have succeeded.
That's what I think, but I'm an old guy and you probably think I'm full of sh*t.
Good Luck
.
2007-01-12 21:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by The Other Grandpa 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welll. first off you need to make sure you don't have any std's second I know you really don't want to here this but if you wanna keep the baby it's your only choice. Tell your parents. It will probably be the hardest thing you ever have to do but they'll find out eventually when you start to show so you might as well just tell them now. Your parents seem like pretty reasonable people so go ahead and tell them, but you might not want to tell your dad about the guy being 20 since he is a cop and he can charge him with rape. Hope I've given you some good advice feel free to contact me if you need some more advice or just someone to talk to I'm around your age dancingqueenkv@yahoo.com
2007-01-12 19:38:50 · answer #3 · answered by Stunnas on got my stunnas on 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Girl, you need a reality check, now. Do you really think he will be there for you and the baby? I had my first baby when I was 15 and he just turned 8 and let me tell you it has not been easy. You need to think of yourself for one, and make sure that you are ready to be a mother. Your parents may be willing to help but they cannot take care of the baby for you so you can be young. You made the mistake and you need to decide if you are ready to deal with it. Are you going to finish school? How are you going to support a baby? What about daycare? These are just a few of the questions you need to answer and then if you decide you want the baby, you need to have a long talk with your boyfriend and tell him that you need his support throughout the pregnancy as well as the life of the child. Finally, tell your parents that you are pregnant so they can help you get prenatal care and do not mention the age issue unless it arises. If you need any support contact me at foofergutierrez@yahoo.com. Good luck.
2007-01-12 18:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by foofergutierrez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is not what you want to hear, You need to tell you parents asap about the pg and your boyfriend real age. First off if your dad work for the police department he could easily find out his real age. Second even if your boyfriend was 18 he still would be in trouble with the law. third you need to get prenatal care for the baby. fourth the father may not even stick around, to care for the baby. I was 16 when I got pg and it was not easy. My bf left and I was stuck rasing a baby on my own and it is hard work even if the father is in the picture. Good luck. feel free to email me at atr1983@yahoo.com if you need to talk.
2007-01-12 19:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a really suckie situtation. If you want the father around you are going to have to reveal his age. If you are worried about statutory rape and whether or not your parents will try to press charges against the guy odds are since there is a baby on the way that he will have to help support and they wont. Let your parents know...and if they want to resort to this measure explain to them that if he is arrested and jailed for this he cannot help support the baby even if you try to get child support from him. I hope he is the kind of guy that will stick around and support you, but if he doesnt want to hang around file for child support once the little person is born. Your parents may be more understanding than you think and hiding this from them will only put unecessary stress on you and your unborn baby. Good Luck and remember that no matter what you ultimately choose to do about the situation you have to make sure you take care of yourself first and foremost even if that means not telling you parents right away.
2007-01-12 18:44:44 · answer #6 · answered by girlsaiyan1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I want to let you know that you CAN do this. I had my son at 17. Don't listen to those who say he will leave you. I don't know him and neither do they. If you honestly believe that he will stay with you, don't lose faith. That is one thing that will scare him off. On the situation with your parents, I would take a don't ask, don't tell approach. If they already think he is one age, what reason do they have to doubt it??? I only say that because your parents will be mad at first, or at least for sure your dad will be. You don't want them to do something rash like sending him to jail. Wait until they have accepted the fact that you are going to have a baby. Let them get excited about a grandchild. Let them grow to like him for staying with you. Don't get discouraged. I know from experiance that you can make it through things. You can email me if you want some more support. I would be willing to help you with anything that you need to talk about. My email is
ieathohos@yahoo.com
Seriously. I know it is tough. Feel free to email...
2007-01-12 23:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mommy to Boys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well-i got pregnant when i was 17 and my boyfriend was 24-but in NYS it's legal consent at 17, and 16 with parents consent. whats your states legal consent? I don't think your parents would have him arrested especially since he is the father of your baby-they would just be making things worse. Something you could do in order to tell them would be to write a letter-because that way you can get everything you want out and they won't be able to interrupt you, and they'll be able to understand how your feeling and your decisions. when your boyfriend signs the birth certificate they'll need his real birthday and age though-you'll only be able to hide it for so long-same thing with pregnancy...you have time though-just look for support with him and your friends-because im sure your parents will be like mine and break down and cry....i hope things work out!
2007-01-12 21:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a very bad girl and not only for the reason you think
You are under 18 and still had *** with a boy that is 20!
And for your information if your parents report him he can go to jail. Of course, it's half his fault but it's half your fault too. You should be ashamed of yourself for not telling your parents the minute you knew about this. You are a freak.
2007-01-12 20:10:21 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous5283 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well 1st of ...your dad is a police officer and once he finds out u r pregnant and lied about your boyfriends age to make it legal, he will kill your bf...u know this right...what does a 20 year old want with a 16 year old anyway...hunny i dont know what to say...i have to girls of my own and i would be livid if this happened to one of them...it is not your decision to charge him with rape , its your parents...pregnant or not your gonna be in serious trouble and so is he. you need to talk with your parents asap, u cant hide a pregnancy for long...i would bring it up with your mom first, get her support and tell her about the age(the longer u put the age thing off...the worst it will be) then get her to talk to your father about it, he might take it better coming from her(she will be able to calm him down better) and u dont need that kinda stress right now...i hope this helps and i hope next time u will use protection, remember always use protection....baby's r not easy...i am a single mother of 2 and trust me its hard...Good Luck
2007-01-12 19:42:27 · answer #10 · answered by eyesopen16 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋