Here the deal... my ex wife is about to get evicted n has bben asking me for money so she can pay her rent. I have been paying her rent for a couple of months, but i don't see her ever coming back to me. I love her n all that but i really don't want to give her the money. I feel like crap but everytime that i tell her how exactly i feel she answers that she doesn'rt feel anything for me. She has dated a couple of guys already. her n me have a son together... Should i help her out or no, i would really like to hear sum opinions about this please, it's really stressing me out?
2007-01-12 09:41:07 · 21 answers · asked by 12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ordinarily, I'd say don't give her money. However, this is a child involved, and you don't want your son living on the streets. Give her money if you can afford to, as long as you don't have any expectations of her reuniting with you. If you give her money and expect her to return because of it, you're just asking to be hurt. Good luck to you.
2007-01-12 09:47:27 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the hardest part is that you don't want your son out on the street. So since it has been a while, and she's obviously moved on. Let her get evicted, and then your son can live with you. It seems like your money is good enough for her, but you're not. I don't know the details of the break up, and if it's that you cheated on her, then I can probably see her loving you still, but not wanting to be in that position anymore.
2007-01-12 17:50:57 · answer #2 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I hope your son lives with you, if he doesn't he should. She obviously can not take care of herself let alone with a child in the house which there may not be soon. As for helping her, your not everytime you give her money, you are showing her that you will just be there for her and she doesnt need to make it happen herself. She needs to step up and be a grown women and take care of herself. If you care about her you will step back and make her step up. It will be hard at first but its like teaching your son to ride a bike at some point he has to do it himself.
2007-01-12 18:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by Tamra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are paying child support and she still can't make ends meet, then I suggest you take her to court and file for custody of your son. Don't give her any more money then the court ordered you to pay, she needs to learn to live on her own. You are responsible for your sons well being, not hers! She should count her blessings to have such a caring Ex like you but you have done your part and you need to quit letting her use you. Good-luck to you and your son.
2007-01-12 17:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mustang Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude she is totally using you just so you can pay her rent, give her money but just for your son and make checks or keep a record because later on she'll try and get you for child support and then you'll have to pay for all those years she wasnt with you.
2007-01-12 17:49:01 · answer #5 · answered by My hubby and my baby r my life ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's using you. If she feels nothing for you, and has moved on to relationships with other men, then it is time for her to begin taking responsibility for her own life. When you pay her rent and give her money, you are allowing her to remain dependent upon you. If she has custody of your son, you should of course contribute to his housing, food, clothing, and anything else he needs, but you should not be the sole provider for either of them.
2007-01-12 17:53:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she says she feels nothing for you and you don't think she is coming back to you, then you are not responsible for paying her bills. Tell her that you can not give her the money. Your only responsibility is to take care that your son has a safe place to live (maybe with you?) and that his needs are met. Not hers.
2007-01-12 18:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by swanser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have a kid together (economically speaking), so if she suffers your son does too. What you need to do is arrange everything through an attorney, then you will pay child support, that way you don't feel like you're been used, and you will know that you're taking care of him.
Good luck!
2007-01-12 18:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done a sweet and nice thing by helping her for a few months. The next best things you could do is, stop giving her money and tell her to apply for help. You are no longer together and she tells you she feels nothing for you, she can find her help elsewhere.
Goodluck, and have a great night!
2007-01-12 17:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF your son is with her, aboslutly keep paying her rent, unless she has an order for you to pay child support.
Doesn't she work? IF NO, then have her sign up for low income housing. It's everywhere, in every county.
BUT don't hold anything back from your son. He's what is important.
2007-01-12 17:48:10 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋