I'm a 28 year old American male, 6-2, in very good shape, black hair, green eyes, educated, a house, a car, good job, and always monogamous in relationships. I have a lot of good qualities yet my relationships with American women never work out, I have come to the conclusion my best possible option to find a women to spend the rest of my life with is foreign. I just am not compatible with American women I guess and a mail order bride may be a good idea. But for some reason there seems to be a stigma against mail order brides. I know two very successful good looking friends of mine who went that route, one married a women from Thailand and the other from Venezuela. They have been married for over 10 years each, have families, and everyones as happy as can be. I'm envious of how happy they are and would like to do the same as them. I find that many foreign women are very beautiful, kind, sweet, caring and loyal. And please don't take that as me wanting a submissive women cause I don't, I treat women I'm with equality. So with that said why is their such a stigma against people who do this?
2007-01-12 09:27:03 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Well, it's your choice. Such marriages can be very happy, as you have seen. There is a little stigma, but if people see your wife is truly loved and happy and not exploited, they will eventually accept it, and some will envy you, just as you envy your friends.
The thing is, if you aren't compatible with American women, why don't you travel abroad and meet women that way? I mean there's a lot of women in the world and a lot of different countries. Or meet women from other countries in America. I'm with an English guy, and I didn't have to order him!
2007-01-13 14:01:31 · answer #1 · answered by Girl Machine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine did this and ended up with a woman who was violent, a liar, and was infertile because she had sexually-transmitted diseases. It's kind of a crap shoot on who you're going to get.
28 isn't old. You might try talking to a therapist to get some insight. If you have the same problems in every relationship, then the one common denominator is YOU. What is it that you're doing that is attracting women who aren't right for you? How can you change that.
Basically, a mail-order bride is a lie. You don't know how she really feels about you -- she will tell you anything to get her citizenship. So you don't know who she really is or what she really thinks of you. It's a transaction. You give her green card, and she tells you what she thinks you want to hear. It's basically long-term prostitution.
You sound like a dreamy guy, if the way you describe yourself is true. I think it's too early to give up and go the mail-order route. I hope you do decide to work with a therapist to figure out how to find someone here who is right for you. I wish you luck!
2007-01-12 22:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, it concerns me that you say "I just am not compatible with American women". Why? Do they ask too much of you? Are they too independant? Are you dating the same type of person over and over and have concluded that all women act this way? What do you value?
I know Western women are beautiful, kind, sweet, caring and loyal. I'm Canadian and would describe myself this way.
The stigma comes from the many men who are angry, jaded, abusive or stuck in another era. These guys go on "holidays" which offer them a string of women who are desperate to escape their awful lives in their countries. Since these poor women consider marrying ANY western man as a better circumstance than what they have now, they often find it's much worse.
My brother has done exactly what you are describing - ie. married a single mother with a son from Ukraine. I don't believe he was capable of having a healthy, normal and equitable relationship with a western woman. He used to ***** and complain how western women were always against children, staying home and living their lives around him. He's got three kids now and they've been married for 7 years. So I guess he got what he wanted.
Go for what you want in life. It's too short. Keep in mind, though, that your actions impact others greatly.
2007-01-12 09:54:24 · answer #3 · answered by heathen 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
The stigma is created by the same western women you're spurning (check out the replies). They can't stand the idea that someone would rather date women from a less poisonous culture, so they'll attack your ethos instead of your decision.
Your first step is to tell them to go screw themselves. What do you care? You're leaving all that mess behind.
The second step is to find a good forum where you can discuss this with other guys who have taken the same steps. I've heard lots of happy guys dating and marrying women from eastern Europe (Russia, Ukraine), Asia (Thailand, Japan), and South America. I'd also recommend learning some of the language and taking a vacation out there to test the waters, and possibly living abroad if you can. Culture counts for a LOT in the women you choose, and if you bring a woman to America, there's always the possibility she could become polluted as well.
Good luck to you, guy. I know how difficult it can be to find a meaningful relationship in the western world, and I'll never fault anyone for choosing to broaden their horizons.
2007-01-12 12:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Steve 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Either way you are gonna be used. A woman from another country would be grateful for the green card, and not really care how you behave, and once she gets that green card, she will be long gone. That will let you know whether you are compatible with any woman. You need to remember that men are still men in the countries you name. Women from those countries to not tolerate a man who wont take care of her and her kids. Lots of foreign women think american men are stingy and greedy.
2007-01-12 14:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by Penelope 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Foreign brides maybe, mail order brides, no. There are a lot of women there who sign up for a greencard and maybe alimony.
2007-01-12 12:55:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a great idea. The women in this country don't appreciate men. In this country women expect men to mow the lawns? In the old country men would keep their girlfriends/wives in the yard until she was done in the fields/mud. In this country women drive mens BMW when they don't even work. In my country women aren't allowed to drive a car. In this country women use a mens credit cards to buy clothes, in the old country women are only allowed to wear the rags they clean in. In this country women can drink alcohol, in my country if a man gets caught drunk driving the woman goes to jail. In this country women are treated with respect as equals, in my country animals have more rights. I MISS MY COUNTRY!
2007-01-12 10:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by sowhat 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
So are American women you are just looking in the wrong places and are attracting the wrong ones.
2007-01-12 10:17:04 · answer #8 · answered by glamour04111 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mail order bride is a cool idea, but you will be getting a submissive woman. If you aren't looking for that, then you should stick to dating. Also, its hard to be sure you'll have a true connection when she has ulterior motives (wanting to come to the US) for marrying you.
2007-01-12 09:33:39 · answer #9 · answered by jaferris166 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I personally know two men who have Eastern European wives
and they are both lovely women and have good marriages..
One man had a couple of bad meetings but never married them.
I think it is a good idea...
Russian / Eastern European / Oriental...
2007-01-12 15:14:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋