O.k. so this is a very free verse type of poem... no iambs, at least not intentionally... just want to know what you think..?
The Coming...
An excitement masked by clouds,
sweet but not yet here,
anticipated with the air of uncertainty,
foreseen but not fulfilled,
like the message of good news
which only the messenger keeps
closed in his heart,
yet running, rushing towards bursting
of the inner hidden bloom.
The light one of a constant dawn
or dusk
for that matter.
A time of twilight;
the perfect mood.
Not dead but not yet born either.
The peak of potential.
Fulfillment or doom.
2007-01-12 09:21:12 · 5 answers · asked by Karo 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
It's complex, beautiful and deep.
2007-01-12 09:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really good!!! Bravo!!!
I, however, would change
The light one of a constant dawn or dusk for that matter
to
The light of a constant dawn or constant dusk
2007-01-12 09:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by Bryan's Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH I liked it bunches! These people that ask about their poems should really publish them. They're great!
2007-01-12 09:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by ħ Ì Wêår M¥ Mê?ål Må§k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
verry nice but i think you need a little more rhythm.I write poems too
2007-01-12 13:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gooooooooood. this was really nice. :) (nice metaphors) --- but it was also a bit hard to understand too..... but i don't really no.....so however u like it is the way to go :)
2007-01-12 09:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋