I need more attention!?

Question

How can I get my husband to pay more attention to me and not the computer? We have been together 2 years and he sometimes acts like I don't exist. He likes to spend time with his friends and his computer, but not with me. I tried to be more seductive, but it didn't help anything, our sex life has never been lacking, just my emtional needs are not being met. When we first got togehter we talked for hours and now we cannot carry on a simple conversation. What should I do?

I don't want to get a divorce, but this is making me really depressed. I want to smash the computer becasue he spends so much time playing games and using messanger to chat with people. I want him to chat with me.

Answer 1

Hello,
You are suffering the same problem as I do, with the difference that I have being married for one year and 3 months and my sex life is not active for 8 months now.
You probably don’t have excitement in your life as a couple any more. That's why he doesn't see you sexually and romantically as he used to. Even if your sex life is not lacking there is no romance, isn't it?
Little details make a relationship grow. You probably don't have details anymore with each other.
I will recommend that you take the initiative and try one more time, if it doesn't work is probably healthier for you to move out the relationship before you hurt or hate each other more.
I suggest that you change your ways and dress sexier for him, especially when he comes from work. Have a bubble bath ready for him, cook something different and have a sensual dessert, fix his favorite drink. Teas him in a good way so he can regain interest in you. Leave a note on his windshield saying that you love him, tell him in that note that he would have a surprise if he gets home earlier.
Have a personal picnic in the middle of your living room with some cheese, fruits and whipped cream chocolate or caramel, some wine or champagne etc.
Any little detail that you think is not important for you might be important for him.
People think that little details are not important but in reality little details are what makes the difference in a relationship.
Even if you are upset or mad at him tell him that you love him, just tell him that you are mad but you love him still.
It is very important that you tell him how you feel. Do it in writing, that way you’ll get all of is attention. Make sure he knows that you want him to treat you just the same way as he wants to be treated and it's up to him if he wants to be treated good or bad.
I used to cry almost every day because my wife was paying more attention to the TV than me so I decided to do what I suggested you and it worked. She has changed a little and I know that she will change more if I give her more time. If she doesn't change more for the best of our marriage within a reasonable amount of time, I will get the divorce because I have to look out for my future.
Do what you think is best for you, we all have the answer for our problems but we are scared to take the responsibility of our actions.
Best Wishes.

Answer 2

Why does this always surpise women? After two years of being together, there is usually not much to talk about. Or you are just talking about the same old stuff, or boring everyday junk, or about what chores need to be done, or how we should have kids soon, etc. His friends and the computer are an escape from the daily grind. You need to be an escape also. Plan a weekend get away. Do something different like take him to a strip club or trendy dance club. Go on a date again. You don't need to be more seductive, you need to be more sexy. Dress like you are trying to attract a guy not like you already have one.

Answer 3

Make some new house rules!!
Sit him down and tell him your needs. Then make out a computer schedule just like you would for a child. Make him spend quality time with you during the NO COMPUTER hour.
IF he puts up a big fuss, try making the computer be broke down! LOL

Answer 4

Have you tried prying him off of the computer for a serious face to face chat? Maybe marriage counseling is an option? Does he know how you feel? Men aren't mind readers (or so I am told by my hubby quite often!) tell him how you feel and go from there.

Answer 5

Hey Girl, at least he's playing with the computer not with someone else. Talk to him about sports ,parties and social gatherings. Get involved with other actives like yoga to help reduce stress.Talk boy talk and hang out with the guys.

Answer 6

Give him a taste of his own medicine. Get with some girls and go out for fun. That doesn't mean like bars, but go to the movies or out to dinner, start a BUNCO group. Also, stop giving it up in the bedroom. Men hate to be turned down. He thinks that you have to have him in all ways. Show some independence. When he realizes your not there every-time then he will wake up.

Answer 7

I think you have too many problems with your husband. Have the internet disconnected and tell him how you feel. If he loves you he will respect your decisions. Good Luck. Look on the bright side, he aint the only guy in the world!

Answer 8

sabotage the computer.

or just accept that the fire burns down after awhile. maybe try some fresh new things. like a vacation. or learn how to do new and sexy things in bed. like a striptease.

OR you could get a bunch of your girlfriends to come hang out at your house like all the time to annoy him.

Answer 9

Remove the computer. It's an addiction for him just like a drug. You both might need to get into therapy together. He needs help.

Answer 10

You need to tell him and fast! I ended my marriage of twelve years because I was ignored. I didn't tell him what was wrong and it kept getting worse until it was to late. He never knew what hit him. He couldn't fix the problem because I kept it all inside. Talk with him, let him know how and why you are feeling this way before it ruins your marriage completely.