my boyfriends kid is so spoiled! he gives her anything and everything she wants. she yells at him and he just doesn't do anyhting. we spent $60 on a movie the other day for her to just cause a scene 20 min. into it and wants to leave. we actually left! he puts her in her place sometimes but when he does, moments later, he sucks her butt to her whinning and crying. its so fake, though. what should i do? Help! and she tries to boss me around but, i aint havin that! but, i dont want to come off as a big meanie
2007-01-12 08:35:49 · 25 answers · asked by angi w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
this will never change,..all the way to adulthood.
get out while you can.
2007-01-12 08:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by iroc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is this child? Talk to the father (if you really like him) and tell him how you feel. (not in those exact words you described in your question). Tell him you are concerned. Acknowledge that he is a good father and how hard it is to be a single father and if there is any thing you can do to help you will. (if your serious about him) I know he must be embarrassed about this but he probably has guilt because of the divorce and he feels it is hurting his child and he gives into her over guilt. I've done it before. He wants his child's life to not be stressed any more than it already has over the split up. I went through the same with my daughter for years. And it took my new husband (her step father) telling me what he saw and it hurt him to see her disrespect me. It opened my eyes and things have changed. It's been tough on all of us but it can work out. If you ever have children you will understand a little more. But if you really like this guy hang in there but if not don't waste your time. It is a lot of responsibility being a step parent. A LOT! Maybe you can build a relationship with the child and can help with things if dad allows. Parents are real touchy about their kids. Good Luck
2007-01-12 08:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by holliemay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have full custody of her, right? I can tell that from what you've said. He feels guilty for the times he doesn't have her or see her and he doesn't want to be the bad guy, and he wants her to go home to her mom and tell her what a great time she had with dad, and how much money he spent on her. It's really a sad, sad shame. I see it all the time. I babysit for all kinds of kids who are the "rope" in their parents "tug of war" game. Each parent tries to see who can spend the most money and buy the most gifts and be the best parent in the child's eyes. They feel guilty because they have to work all day and try to "buy" their child's love. It's really sad. You should give your child YOU, not THINGS.
Your boyfriend is digging himself into a big hole with her. How old is she??!! She's only going to act more spoiled and be a bigger brat as she gets older.Why do parents think they are being mean, when they discipline their kids and make them behave? He is hurting this child and she's going to be so miserable to be around, people will be running when they see her coming! I'm surprised you're still around! He must be a great guy, for you to put up with this nonsense! You need to tell him, you will NOT put up with his daughter disrespecting you and she needs to stop being a spoiled brat. Give him an ultimatum, that he disciplines her or you're gone. Or else, just keep putting up with it!!! It's your choice!!
2007-01-12 08:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
a guy or woman isn't a spoiled brat jsut simply by fact his mum and dad purchase him better than your mum and dad purchase you (are you able to assert "jealous"??). a guy or woman is a spoiled brat while they anticipate greater, call for greater, BEHAVE BADLY while they are not getting greater or would desire to watch for greater, and who believes previous something that they DESERVE greater. the line is drawn by strategies-set, not by fabric possessions. a guy or woman would properly be a spoiled brat and have 2 issues on your ten. that's all approximately how they handle human beings, the ecosystem, and the failings around them. If that's "all approximately me" they seem to be a spoiled brat. otherwise, they'd merely be fortunate sufficient to get what they choose!
2016-10-19 21:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this is not a relationship made in heaven. When one person marries another they marry their family. I don't know whether the kid is acting up because you're around and they want all the attention, or if this is their usual MO (modus operendi...being themself). If you two want to go out and want some peace then get a sitter for the kid.
You said "we" spent $60 on a movie. Did you pay your share of that? If so then I can see why you would be miffed, and frankly you should never put up with that again. Don't waste your money. If he wants to waste his then let him. Like I said, this isn't going to last anyway, so enjoy it while yo can.
If you don't want to put up with that then when he asks you out again just ask "did you get a babysitter...and for how many hours, and is our date dutch treat"...so you know just what to expect, and if it doesn't meat your expectations then put it off until it does.
2007-01-12 08:43:54 · answer #5 · answered by sophieb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well- how old is the child?? maybe she's doing all this for attention? it's only normal for her to do stuff like this because it's hard for her as a child to adjust to not having mommy around at daddy's house. You're just gonna have to live with it and let your bf know that he should reprement her behavior better or else things are gonna get worse. Whatever you do- when he's telling her something or whatever- don't interefe because she's not your daughter even though you bf is you man- it's his duty to repremend her in whatever way he thinks it's best because he's her biolgical father. All you can do is suggest how it can be fixed to him and that's alll. It's just something you're gonna have to learn to live with & accept. Once the child is more comfortable with you and him being together hopefully things wil get better but don't expect it to be soon- these things take time! I'm going throuh the same thing with my son. My bf who isn't his father doensn't like how i repremend him and he looses his patience when my son cry's for dumb reasons and i I let him. Anyway- just pray to god to help you & your bf to raise the child in a way that she will behave better.
2007-01-12 08:51:01 · answer #6 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to take charge of her before it's too late! She should be respecting him instead of getting her own way all the time. If your b'f doesn't do something soon, she will soon be running his life and she will also cause problems between you and your b/f because you know what she is up to and you also see she gets her own way. Try spending more time with her and not giving in to her like he does. As far as bossing you around, I would clue her in and fast that you are NOT going to put up with her tantrums like her dad does. She will respect you in the long run! Good Luck
2007-01-12 08:43:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends alot on how old she is. If shes like, 3...I'd think thats at least semi-normal, but let him know that he's spoiling the living hell outta her. DON'T let her boss you are; she's the kid, not the parent. Definatly talk to your boyfriend about her; if things dont change, I'd say get outta it...It sucks, but I went through the same thing.
2007-01-12 08:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by Shaun L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him...this kid is going to grow into a monster, at the very least I can guess, she will quit school, get pregnant, and with luck, get a few low paying jobs, that she will quickly lose. A great portion of her life is about blaming other people, you will be top on her hit list. If you really care about this guy...let him know he is not doing his job, and if he does not get some help, he will be the cause of her ruined life....kids need boundaries...
2007-01-12 08:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by curious115 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you didn't say how old his daughter is. Age plays a big factor.
It is his daughter. How he and her mother chose to raise her, so long as she is not being abused, is really not your concern. Either you accept it or you move on.
Since you are his "girlfriend" which is one step above being friends, there really isn't much you can do.
If you live with him you have a little more voice in the matter.
It's your choice.
($60.00 for a movie for 3 people!?!?!
Wow even with treats that's insane.)
2007-01-12 08:50:59 · answer #10 · answered by BhitchyPrincess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....maybe patience from ur side would help....n most of all just being there for him and not adding on to his trauma by constantly cribbin abt his angel. Time smoothens things..gain his confidence and hers too....show leniency were u can with her...and be stern when she behaves silly....but then again once done that neva complain abt that to ur bf...let that be between u n her ....things would work out...just give it some time...it could all be a repurcussion of just having a single parent around....so well u gotto loosen up a bit...besties...:)
2007-01-12 08:44:21 · answer #11 · answered by Lemme_Know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋