I have been married for two years now and my husband has gone on a date with another girl at the beginning of our relationship. He now constantly lies about stupid things. About two weeks ago i found out that he wrote one girl that he used to sleep with and gave her his number. He claims it was just to see how she was doing, but i dont think I believe him. I love him and he does a great job taking care of my son and I, but I now find myself snooping through his emails and checking his voicemails.
2007-01-12 08:33:49 · 13 answers · asked by GIRL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go get some marital counseling. You both are acting very immaturely.
2007-01-12 08:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there...done that.
Sweetheart, if he lies to you about one thing, you can be assured that he's lying to you about other things. I'm SO sorry. I'm not saying that your marriage is not worth saving, but I can tell you that you'll probably need professional help to do it. I spent 10 years trying to save my marriage even though he refused counseling (it was "my problem" - not his). In the end, it just wasn't worth the toll on me or my kids.
It really does take two people to make a marriage work - you can't do it alone. Be strong and if you have to divorce him, don't try to be the "nice" one. My divorce cost me over $250,000 in attorney fees because I wasn't tough from the beginning. After 20 years of marriage, I didn't want to hurt him, I just wanted OUT. Unfortunately, I didn't protect myself against his vindictiveness and his unscrupulous attorney. The "law" has NOTHING to do with justice - be aware.
Good luck.
2007-01-12 16:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by Lea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide if it's worth it... Personally, a marriage isn't much of a marriage without monagomy, trust, honesty, and good communication. I would suggest the two of you have a serious heart to heart and seek marital counseling. If he is not receptive, than you really have to decide whether you can withstand being in a marriage that makes you unhappy. Regardless of whether you decide to stay in the marriage, separate, or divorce, your husband is still a father to his sound and that shouldn't change as long as you both put his needs first.
2007-01-12 16:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to get people on here saying if you have to snoop then your marriage is over. I really don't think it is. If you feel the need to snoop, then do so, you have to know what's up!! After you find out what is going on,then confront him and tell him not to have contact with this chick or any others unless you and he both know them.
2007-01-12 16:39:30 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have a serious discussion and state your doubts and fears. If you feel he is still unable to see you eye to eye and understand your predicament then you have to speak to a marriage counselor to discuss this situation.
Since you are distrusting with him, it is also not good for you to snoop around him to see if he is cheating. This is not going to help but aggravate the situation. You need to take a bold step to either let him know that this is not something you are comfortable with or let him know that I do love to go to sex parties and be in a crowd enjoying and watching sex if he likes to be with me, so let me watch and enjoy as well.
Try to reason it out with him or see professional counseling. It can also lead to other serious matters but be ready to make decision.
2007-01-13 09:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by iorusanyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your instincts are right about him. I am not married so I think you should seek counseling.
Rent the stageplay "Why did I Get Married" by Tyler Perry. Some information may be helpful to you.
2007-01-12 16:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all do you feel that your marriage is worth it??? If so then talk with him and seek help and counseling for the both of you and for your marriage..... If there is not hope or help for your marriage then you may have to seperate but only after you try everything to try and save your marriage and relationship first.
2007-01-12 17:27:53 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying with him means nothing but paranoia for you. Your life will become nothing more than constant worry and constant snooping. That is a very hard life to live. For me, nothing is worth that.
2007-01-12 16:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is not good;( if you feel he is doing you dirty than chances are he is:( cheating on your spouse weather it be physical or emotional is still cheating and that is ultimate form of disrespect! if you have to check his e-mails and be snoopy he drove you to it he is to blame for that behavior not you!! you said he takes really good care of you and your son but is that enough or you willing to allow him to cheat just as long as he continues to take care of the two of you financially ? you deserve to be respected first and foremost!! good luck
2007-01-12 16:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by notyochic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. He has given your reason to suspect. Now it's his turn to prove to you he is worthy of your trust.
2007-01-12 16:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋