What if the relationship is very good otherwise? Fun, warm, and loving. No major problems. Comments on how attractive he is and even flirts.
But, there is always a reason. Too tired, too busy, not feeling well, etc.
Is she simply no longer attracted?
2007-01-12 08:21:29 · 39 answers · asked by Jay 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fatigue may be a problem.
But, she's a stay at home mom with one kid.
I help with homework and some housework. we have someone come in to do thorough house cleaning every two weeks.
We order out or eat out at least a couple times a week.
2007-01-12 08:49:18 · update #1
Probably. At least not in "that way."
It can never hurt to talk to her about it, but you can't talk someone into wanting you. She either does or doesn't.
The best advice I can think of is to think about when things changed (assuming this is a change) and how you may have changed that she finds less desirable. (Most husbands and wives stop trying so hard once they get married.)
Out of shape? Don't dress so well anymore?
Bottom line:
1) Pretend you are trying to win her over.
2) Be yourself (she knows you), but think about being the you (as close as you can get) that she desired before the change.
3) Think about what you know she liked about you that maybe you have stopped being, and BE that more. Not just what you DO, but what you are.
I assume you want her to want you for the person you are, not only for the things you do for (flowers, etc.) So, BE the old you (as close as you can get) that she really "wanted" (assuming she ever did) and see what happens.
If that doesn't work, you're in trouble.
2007-01-12 09:19:17 · answer #1 · answered by Carl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that is not the case... I would sit her down and discuss it with her. She may have a reason for it or may not even realize how you feel.... just a simple conversation might be enough to fix the problem. Discussing your issues is the only way to resolve them. I am sure that your wife is not meaning to make you feel this way and would want to know that she is having that effect. She would want to know that it is bothering you so you should talk to her... after all she is the closest person to you and the person you should be able to talk to about anything.
2007-01-12 08:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by band geek 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think so! Im young, have 2 small kids, work from 9-6, cook, clean, & take care of my kids after work. When its time to go to sleep, im over stressed, tired and exhausted, and dont feel like doing anything but sleep. And im still 100% attractive to my husband.. It all depends on your personal situation. Do you help her with the household chores? Do you do anything else but watch tv after work? Think about it!! Maybe you just need to help her out a little so that when you are about to go to bed, shes not tired and too busy! Best Wishes!!!
2007-01-12 08:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by Latina4life 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not uncommon really - especially considering her age. Even as young as mid-30's, a woman's body can be slipping into menopause. A woman's sex drive can take a HUGE nose dive as her hormone levels change.
Don't go looking for "excuses" - like affairs and such...look for REASONS. First advice would be to get a thorough check-up including blood work for hormone levels...and gynecological cancer/cystic screenings (not to alarm you, but definitely worth making sure).
I'm not a doctor, but I've been there. Be patient and loving and TALK to her about your concerns without being judgmental or accusing. Good luck.
2007-01-12 08:35:14 · answer #4 · answered by Lea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i kind of have the same problem. I want to but once i get gome cook dinner do dishes watch some tv with the fifi im tired and sometimes i just dont feel like it sometimes i am busy and let me just say he is very blessed in that area and it dosent alway fell the best it can hurt.
2007-01-12 08:25:11 · answer #5 · answered by Ambersgettingmarried 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's good otherwise, consider counseling. I have a similar relationship.. it's a very hard problem to solve, but be sure you aren't blaming her, or making her feel bad. She already feels bad about it I'm sure, and may not even know why she avoids sex. She needs to talk to somone, and you should encourage her to do so.
2007-01-12 08:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she should see her doctor? Sometimes certain medications can affect her libido, which could explain why she still flirts with you but can't close the deal, so to speak. Or perhaps you should take her on a romantic getaway. Maybe you just need a change of scenery to relax and kickstart things. Hope it works out!
2007-01-12 08:25:11 · answer #7 · answered by a.lady.in.the.street 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs more warm-up time than before. Have a romantic evening - say dinner & dancing or a movie and bubble bath with no commitment for sex required. She will probably feel more in the mood if she knows you appreciate her for herself.
2007-01-12 08:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may not have the physical energy to be as active, if you are able to be open with her maybe going to see a doctor could be a solution. Usually when a woman is like that it is mainly because there is a physical interference in the body would be a guess.
2007-01-12 08:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
not a good sign.. u gotta talk to her, or maybe even go to a counselor together...
it's possible that she is uninterested in sex.... but that does not bode well for a Man who is always itnerested in sex! was she interested before, but has changed? is she too busy? maybe u can arrange for a weekend getaway, etc. romance her, bring her flowers, stuff like that. try to change the dynamic and see what happens!... good luck.
2007-01-12 08:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋