How do you handle a controlling wife?

Question

We have been married for seven years, but each day she becomes more and more controlling. On top of that she is very jeoulos and is always accusing me of cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and never even given her a reason to think I was. I am not allowed to have friends (male friends) or hang out with friends. She don't grasp the concept that people need their own time, too. Tell me what to do.

Answer 1

Controlling issues come from insecurities as does jealousy. Do not give in to her demands. You are able to have friends, and so is she. it sounds like she has to find other things to invest her time in. Mabe a hobbie, or friends. Her focus is on you because she is unhappy. It is her responsibility to make her own happiness. You can certainly have good times together, but you are right to want to have time alone. Tell her that you love her, but you will not continue to accept her controlling ways nor her jealously. If her goal is to have a closer relationship with you then she has to respect your independence. Encourage her to get involved in something outside the home. Make plans to go out together. There has to ba a balance for there to be peace.

Answer 2

Obey her! Just kidding.

She sounds like she needs to get an interest other than YOU. I have a life, friends, hobbies and I'm married with kids. We have family time of course, but each spouse gets "me" time. That's pretty typical, I think.

What if you had your friends over to the house for a football game? She could control umm, manage the food and beverage procurement. She will like being in control of it happening in your house, right? But she's gonna have to go to the master bedroom to read or watch dvd's when the guys come over. Better yet send her to a movie. If she tries to plop on the couch and watch the game you've gotta tell her no. Stand up to her and tell her no. You should establish that with her before hand.

It's a baby step.

If she sees that you can watch a ballgame without calling in a gaggle of hookers for lap dances, you might convince her to let you go somewhere with those buddies of yours.

I hope she lightens up. Life is too short to keep your man on a short leash...unless that's what he's into.

Answer 3

She should not be telling you that you can't have male friends. Female friends I could see, but not male friends. That's crazy! Everybody needs their own time to breathe. You need space. I would sit her down and tell her, look, I am going to hang out with my friends sometimes. It doesn't mean that I don't love you, but I do need my space. If she is constantly accusing you of cheating then it could simply be that she's insecure. Either that, or she is doing something her own self. Nobody should have to live in this world without friends. It's not right. You need to stand up and take charge of your life. If she still insists that you cannot go out with your friends, then go to counseling. If that doesn't work, then get the big "D". I am not for divorce. But nobody deserves to be sheltered. You are a grown a** man. She needs to get a life of her own and let you live yours. I would NEVER even try to tell my husband that he can't go out with his friends.

Answer 4

Same problem here. We separated but I went through all that. If you go against her wishes; she is very vindictive. She will do things to get you back. I tried everything, absolutely everything. The only thing you can do is give her an ultimatum to straighten up or your leaving her. But be prepared for the worse.
Mine left me; but she is treating me much better. We still are together, just not living together. So, it's not over yet. Tough at first, but I'm actually much happier now.

Answer 5

I don't think that she's controlling you only you can control what you do.Have you tried asking her why she thinks that you are cheating on her most men do stuff and don't realize their own actions there must be something if she feels that way. maybe you were spending too much time with your guy friends than with her.Sit down and discuss these things with her that's the only way youre going to find out .If your not cheating then you wouldn't be where you are now.would you?

Answer 6

You assumption on her previous issues should be proper. yet your want for time on my own is likewise valid. you should communicate it out. gently clarify that you are able to wish to be on my own for slightly, and provides her tome to be on my own as well - she will be able to do lady issues. achieve this without hostility, elevating your voice, anger or something placed interest fro her possible concern. Shift your pc time from after bedtime to sessions the position she should be observing television or telephone conversing to her pals. discover some sport the position it truly is boys and women. enable her have some lady pals if you're with the adult adult males. Bowling is one the position this works. Reassure her that issues are ok. in case you do want to flow meet some pals. tell her of your plans, how lengthy you'd be and the position. you're then not hiding something. at the same time as there, per chance call her and ask if there is something she ought to like you to deliver again. by technique of holding in contact, you reassure her that you're nonetheless there and nonetheless care. undergo in ideas that your moves wil communicate louder than any words. Counseling would also be so as. achieve this collectively and be supportive truly than confrontational.

Answer 7

the first thing you need to do is tell her how you feel. tell her exactly how you feel. it isn't normal for a woman to be the controlling one. and as for not letting you have friends... that some bull sh*t. you need to remind her that you have been married for 7 years and that she should trust you by now. and usually when you accuse your spouse of cheating, you are the one cheating. (i hope that isn't the case) just tell her that you need time, too. its better for couples to have their own time. maybe you should see a councelor and address her problem. you may be suprised howmuch they help.

Answer 8

Go to marriage counseling. Control stems from jealousy, which stems from insecurity. Your wife needs to work on her self esteem, but probably doesn't realize it. She may not realize she is doing something wrong and will get mad at you for trying to tell her she is. A counselor is objective and can tell each of you what to work on to make your marriage happy for both of you.

Answer 9

AH! IM the same way!!!! i don't like my husband to have friends..or better i don't like him to go out with them i rather them come to our place but basically he doesn't have friends.
counseling can't help her. you can not change a person. if she if jealous has to be a reason for her to be. Like myself...i am jealous cuz my huband before we got married was a player..drinking ..messing with different women...cheting on girlfriends...and i don't like the way he is when he is drunk so i rather him to stay at home with me and the kids. is only 3 years that we are married...he would probably blow up like u one day.
I told my husband to find something else to do. read magazines...do stuff on internet (myspace not included).
i think you should talk to her, maybe 1 night every 2 weeks out...and call her when u out. Once again is impossible that she is jealous from nothing. YOU HAVE TO HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG. If you love her and u have kids...find something else to do...

Answer 10

Allow yourself to be frustrated. This will focus your mind on getting away from her. This will ultimately cause her to divorce you. Then you will have what you want, and she'll think it was her idea. Ooops, The secret is now out.