My question goes with a situation that has been going on for about a year now. My husband and my cousin were best friends for about 10+ years. My husband and I started dating about 7 years ago, and so my cousin and I also formed a very close bond. It was always my husband and me, and him and whoever his girlfriend happened to be at the time. After about 4 years he started to date one of my close friends, they ended up getting engaged and later decided that it wasn't meant to be. He found a new girlfriend, and that was fine with everyone. She has changed him in many ways though. As soon as they started dating we started to see less and less of him. Eventually they ended up moving in together. My husband and I were out one night and saw her on top of a pool table, next thing we knew she was showing the whole bar her boobs. My cousin wasn't even out with her that night. She started to make a habit of going out and leaving him at home. Eventually I found out that she had had a relationship with a married man, and caused a divorce. My feelings towards her because of all of these events were starting to be very negative. I think my cousin was starting to see how she was, and he started doing things with us a little more often. One day I opened up to him and told him how I felt. He went on to tell me how she had made him change clothes before they would go places because she didn't like what he was wearing and so on. He ended up breaking up with her and decided to date another one of my close friends, despite my request that it didn't happen. They dated for about a month and during this time the ex found out that me and my cousin had had the discussion about her. She went to my aunt crying about how she loved him and wanted him back. Evidently he decided that he still had feelings for her and they ended up getting back together. Less than 3 months after getting back together she found out she was pregnant. She had went on vacation to Florida with 2 other girlfriends and left my cousin at home. I didn't think this was right. The baby is due March 8th and they were in Florida in May. I think that there may be a chance that the baby is not his. I expressed this concern to several family members and now my cousin, his girlfriend, and my aunt are acting like I am the most terrible person in the world. I tried to fix the relationship between the four of us(My husband, my cousin, the pregnant g/f, and myself) before she got pregnant and they didn't seem to want to fix it then. Now they are having a baby shower and the whole family is invited minus my mother and me. I don't think this is right. As a very close family, we have never excluded anyone from anything EVER! I don't know what to do, I feel if I express my anger and hurt it will only cause further problems. I have tried talking to my cousin and his girlfriend on several occasions and its like they don't care that its causing problems in the family. I also don't know if I should get the baby anything. Help Please!!!
2007-01-12 08:06:25 · 9 answers · asked by AJacks 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
FYI...none of my family want to go the shower, expect my cousin's mom and sister (who are hosting) Also she keeps saying she can't wait until the next 8 weeks are over so she can drink!!! Not so she can see the baby, so she can DRINK.
2007-01-12 08:28:33 · update #1
wow you should go on springer
2007-01-12 08:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by xxgq 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He needs to dump her as soon as possible and cut all contact with her!! She sounds like nothing but trouble. You don't try and change anyone. You accept them for who they are. Any girl with any morals won't be in a bar flashing her boobs while her boyfriend is home. If he choses to stay with her? Then Your husband and you should just let him know exactly how you both feel and leave them both alone. Good chances are it's NOT his baby and I hope he is smart enough to get a DNA test done to see if it is! And if you want to get the baby anything, I would wait until you find out if it is his or not. But he seriously needs a reality check. He sounds way too good for her and she sounds like nothing but trash! Good Luck
2007-01-12 08:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well no matter how you feel dont take it out on the childif the child isnt his and he finds out then he may still want to be his or hers dad people change in life when a child comes in there life,you did right you were honest and open told them,how you feel ,leave it as that all you can do is pray for them,and hope for the best and move on.otherwise if you worry about others your life will fall apart and i wouldnt think yourd want that.,,mary
2007-01-12 08:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by mary l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it go, this is too big for you to 'fix'. Be there for your cousin and support him, let him know that if this relationship does go south that you will be there for him to lean on. Let's hope that he gets a paternity test, it sounds like he needs one.
2007-01-12 08:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All i can say is poor baby....its not the baby's fault.....Does the baby deserve that kinda life....looks to me like somebody needs to be a good parent...
2007-01-12 08:16:44 · answer #5 · answered by hatchetmistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just forget about them my cuzzins girlfriends pregnant to and i just decided that im not goin to get in there business
2007-01-12 08:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by Lilmisshottie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my dear it sounds like the family is sick of you and your mothers bulllshittt! mind your business is the message they are sending you. :)
2007-01-12 08:11:54 · answer #7 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
looks like you have to back off and let be.(sorry)
2007-01-12 08:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should stay away is their pronlems
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2007-01-12 08:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by mr johnson 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋