he says he love me but he also tells me if he ever hit me he want me to hit him very hard i just dont know with this guy
i want to go to college but he doesnt want me to go and he knows it my dream to go back to school to become a nurse?
he says he doesnt want me to because it takes time. he want to travel all year long. want me to leave my city and come and live with him. telling me the world going to end he just has 2 to 5 years to do what he needs to do. i question him about it and he claims he doesnt have any condition
we been together for 1 year and he's already ready to get married this would be his fourth marriage
thank you guys so much for your help and support this situation is starting to stress me out
he suggest to me that maybe we can live in a van .also he does alot of testing in the hospital for money .i dont know but it just seems to me that he is desperate for money
he always tell me that it was other person fault why they ended up divorced
2007-01-12 08:05:22 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HE EVEN SUGGEST HE COULD GET A HOSPITAL AND WE CAN OWN IT INSTEAD OF ME GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TO BE A NURSE
2007-01-12 08:24:18 · update #1
Baby...run away and get that nursing degree. Can't you see? Its all about HIM. And what is it with this "hitting" stuff? that should be a big neon sign flashing at you.
Stay away....hook up with this loser...four time loser by the way and you're young life will be finished. Preganat with 10 kids and chained to the stove. Under his control while he takes all the responsibilty of partying and having a grand time.
2007-01-12 08:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First think of yourself. Your needs are important too. You seem pretty smart and know what you would like for your future. Don't let anyone get in the way of your goals.
You say he has been married 4 times and each time he was divorced it was not his fault. When you started this question you stated that if he hit you, you should hit him back. I find that disturbing.
Living on the road can be very, very difficult.
Maybe you should do some real soul searching and see if that is what you want out of life.
Remember that it is harder to return to school once you have quit.
Good Luck
2007-01-12 08:23:28 · answer #2 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Diana I have a couple of failed marriages behind me also and trust me it is never just one person's fault. So he is full of bulony when he tells you this, and if he truly believes it then he is pretty messed up and/or denying any responsibility. If he is jealous of you continuing your education in order to attain your dreams then he is showing signs of trying to control you already. You need to do what you need to do and nobody should try and stop you from reaching your goals and/or dreams. As far as him having a life threatening illness I would somehow doubt this and besides if he does have then you'd be wise just to stay friends and not marry so you won't be such a young widow. It sounds to this old guy like he is trying to make you feel guilty and use some type of disaster to keep you near him, and it sounds like bull again. As for living in a van I can think of no more comfortable situation for newlyweds to share their first home. You don't need or does anyone else for that matter need this kind of man in your life. You would just be getting to know each other after a year and should take a couple of more years (maybe while your training to be a nurse) to get to know one and other better. Sorry to sound so sour on this relationship but it just doesn't sound healthy to me so you might be best to close this chapter of your life and move on and find another man who will treat you as an equal and with a lot more respect then he is showing you. Best of luck to you, and don't let anyone stop you from reaching and attaining your goals.
2007-01-12 08:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, divorce is seldom one sided. In most cases, there was some failure on both parts. Someone that has been divorced three times is showing you a track record. Are you going to pay attention to your own conscience?
You’ve only been together a year and having these questions, don’t get married!
He sounds controlling and with no personal foundation. Unless you wish to live that kind of life, then I’d suggest looking for someone with the same goals and beliefs you have.
2007-01-12 08:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by last_of_the_romantic_men 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my, just don't let all your dreams troop because he don't want you to do it, if he really loves you he will support you and wait.
He always can make the travel thing with you after you finished college or in summer break or whenever. He would hit you very hard if..... i don't know sounds like this guy has a couple serious mental issues...You maybe be careful not that he turns out to be a freak or some sort... Just go your way you will forever regret it if he maybe leaves you and you did not follow your dreams, if he loves you he will respect and support your dream doesn't matter what it is you would do the same for him....
god bless and be careful
2007-01-12 08:14:16 · answer #5 · answered by m_faery 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From one female to another.
1. if he hits you [do not hit him back] call 911 and get a restraining order.
2. Go back to school.. who cares how long it will take.. it is a great accomplishment and you can get a good career with any degree you are seeking.. when you are finished with your first degree whether it be your associates go back and get your bachelors, than masters, than PHD! I would not worry about how long it takes. We all have to put in our time somewhere.
3. Stay where your at or stay with family but living in a van isn't going to cut it! seriously, if he loves you he would not want that for you.
4. Seek support groups if you need to.. but do not marry this guy. however, if he is still around [when you finish school] and starts supporting you and your desires than consider getting married but have a long engagement!
5. Life is short and whether or not the world is coming to an end you want to make sure you take care of yourself first instead of living like this! Good Luck to you!
2007-01-12 08:13:14 · answer #6 · answered by brit 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that this relationship has the potential to become abusiveb both physicall and mentally. You really need to think about whether you want to put yourself in this sort of situation. I would hope you realize that you deserve so much more in life than to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Loving someone doesn't mean that it's in your best interest to be in a relationship with that person. The hardest decision a person came make is to walk away from someone you love. But the best decision person can make is to walk away from an abusive relationship.
If a person really loves you, they will support you and help make your dreams come true. It is wonderful that you have a career goal and your mate should support you in that effort. If he doesn't, then this person may not be best suited for you.
2007-01-12 08:20:20 · answer #7 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a &^*$ lie and you know it! Four marriages?! Oh, please. Live your dream. You take care of you. This man is a Bright Red flag! 5 red flags for that matter.
Flag 1-abusive, likes to fight
Flag 2-possessive
Flag 3-selfish
Flag 4-controlling
Flag 5-four ex-wives
If you truly want to be happy, go to school and live your dream. If he cared for you and respected you, he wouldn't be this way. Yes the world is going to end, but we don't have to be stupid about it.
End it with him. Make your dream come true. Stop putting it off and do it. Don't EVER let a man control your life and your dreams (especially if he is not part of your dream)
2007-01-12 08:14:19 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful. Anyone who truly loved you would not ask you to give up your dreams. He sounds very selfish to me and the fact that he has been married 3 other times doesn't make it any better. Why doesn't he get a stable job? Do you want to live in a van, moving from place to place with no friends or family around? I think you can do better.
2007-01-12 08:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by redbird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go back to school, get your career going, either he will be there or he wont. no lives your live but you. and if he is that controling, then girl you need to get him to the crub.and you should put a light up to you when he said that "if he hits you, you cann hit him", to me that sounds like he would be abusive to you. i dont usually judge people, but you make his 5th wife, you should try to find out what happened the other 4 times.good luck with school
2007-01-12 12:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋