could not afford but is avolvo w/ 6 air bags...helps me sleep at night, between tuition, her apt., her ins., her food, this is like over 1000 a month....but again, she is not on drugs, works hard, just got heer a credit card for what she needs...(not clothes or meals out), and now a new cell phone...I go without, is that my job as a parent or am I going over the top, he father, my ex, wouldn't even get her a cell,,is remarried, loaded and has two more kids...he demands her to be there for all holidays..what am I doing wrong...and he pays no support.....HELP!!! thanks to alll of you out there who answer for real...
2007-01-12 08:03:37 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she is 21, senior in college, thanks to all of you, can't find a best answer, we love em, thats why we go without...And Purple..you touched my heart, I wish you had a mom like me too...
2007-01-12 08:55:14 · update #1
i'd love to have a mom like that. and if i had a kid, i would do absolutely everything for her/him and your daughter is a nice girl, it seems. just remember: you can never give her too much love. so be a wonderful mom like you are now.
2007-01-12 08:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand rewarding your child for being an over achiever. Even for getting into college. But rewarding your child for not getting on drugs? That is a little over board. Only thing I will say is, you love your daughter. Don't try to show your ex- you can take care of her and give her all of these luxuries, even though he isn't paying for anything. Maybe he isn't paying anything because from what he sees, you have everything covered. Including a Volvo with 6 airbags. If you are going with out just to keep up your daughter's lifestyle, then yes you are going overboard. Now is the time for her to become an adult. Part of being an adult is being responsible. Maybe she needs to get a little part time job. To help you pay for some of the luxuries you have bestowed on her.
2007-01-12 08:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you're spoiling her a little. A car I understand, but, you could have bought her a less expensive one. She doesn't need a cell phone or a credit card. She could get a parttime job so that she could take some of the burden off you. What's with the father? Why not take him to court for back support? I thought the courts set it up if your child went to college the support continued until they're 22.
2007-01-12 08:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by mjm52 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a good mother that appreciates your daughters efforts. I think you are providing essentials, not spoiling. Your daughter sounds like a good person in society and deserves the help you are able to provide with what you are able to budget with. I hope she is grateful for your efforts as well. It would be nice if your ex pitched in and helped, but its not a competition. For the long run your daughter's sucesses will be thankful for all that you were able to provide and she will know in her heart that you did all you can and deserve so much credit.
2007-01-12 08:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by deceit29 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's great that she is doing good for herself and great that you ar helping her.
If she is being grateful for what she is getting, then you are not spoiling her.
However, it seems like you are neglecting yourself. Is it possible for her to get a part-time job so that maybe she can lift some of the burden off of you?
I'm sorry that your ex isn't helping out, but he might feel that his financial obligation to her is over since she is over 18 (I'm assumming).
Has your daughter ever tried to get a scholarship or loan for school? That could also help lower costs for you.
Good luck.
2007-01-12 08:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by Tjoy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she works why can't she pay for her own cell phone? Sorry but i am 20 years old..moved out in June and i don't expect my parents to pay a thing....it might be different if you had enough funds to do these things, but you are going without? Spoiled? Yes i would say so
2007-01-12 08:26:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think ur going over the top a little bit. But I mean if it makes u happy then go a head and keep doing it. But maybe u want to teach her how to earn and work for her stuff then u always giving it to her with out her working for it like buying it her self.
2007-01-12 08:16:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you're spoiling her. You can't love a child too much. When my son was in college, I treated him much like you do your daughter. Now he graduated, is in politics, is a wonderful, smart, and GENEROUS man. I taught him that. I hope you and your daugher go to church together, to worship God with the one you love the most, is wonderful. That is where all good things come from.
2007-01-12 08:13:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not spoiling her...I just hope your able to pay for it.
I think, any parent wants thier kids to be safe!
Yes...your job is to go without...we love our kids, and we do that!
I would be worried if you did it all for you, and she went without...so keep up the good work.
Make sure..in a mothers way...she knows you do it, so she can have a better life!
But! do not spend any more on her just now...
Be careful she is able to handle that credit card!..o.k.
2007-01-12 08:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are, in the guise of being kind, teaching your daughter a very unfortunate lesson--that she only has to wait and things will come to her and people will do for her. What she should be learning (for when you are gone) is that one must work for what one gets.
2007-01-12 08:13:58 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋