We are both madly in love, we have nightmares bout the other leaving, we miss eachother even after a few minutes, we have alot in common but have our differences, we love doing things for eachother, we love to cuddle, we love to drive together to work even when we have diff schedules and i have my own car.
I am confident about his love, but when he doubts me or says i am being a ***** just because i am not actin and talkin babyish to him it makes me think maybe he is fallin out of love.
He says i love you to me more than i do, he is way insecure after he cheated on me a year ago, even though i make it clear to him i will never leave unless he cheats again or hurts me and that i only love him.
When i ask him nicely not to get our bathroom rug wet he gets mad at me and says i am naggin, or when he leaves the toilet seat up and pees all over the darn bowl, when he throws his dirty stinky socks whereever he is at the time ( i have feet phobia and he knows that)
2007-01-12 07:48:18 · 6 answers · asked by mandi lala 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he yells at me and says stop naggin! but he knows those things gross me out. and he doesnt respect that. i stop doing something when he gets annoyed.
I feel like i put more into the relationship. Sure he says he loves me and says all this sweet stuff but his actions are totally different.
Sometimes i dont even want to come home from work, or when we dont agree i get scared because it always turns into this big argument even if i try to avoid it.
sometimes i want to leave because we dont always have a healthy relationship. he will grab me hard and shake me around so lash out because i have been beat when i was younger and i do not allow anyone to touch me that way. it then escalates and we both get violent.
but he is always the first to apologize and expect me to act like everything is ok. but i know its not and we cant keep doing it.
i cant leave though i feel so connected. i love hims so much.
Besides leaving what else is there for me to do?? plz help
2007-01-12 07:52:09 · update #1
we have been and lived together for three years.
2007-01-12 07:54:14 · update #2
He just feels so distant and its killin me.
2007-01-12 07:58:14 · update #3
I hope you don't take this and get offended, but what you're describing sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship.
First of all (and this is coming from someone stupid enough to have cheated and lucky enough to have been forgiven), he should NOT be demanding that you be all lovey on him. It takes a LONG time to get over a partner cheating, if you do at all. In "normal" circumstances, he shouldn't push you to be lovey dovey, but especially not since he has betrayed you like that. He just shouldn't expect it 24/7 in any case.
Somewhere in that beautiful head of yours, you KNOW that no amount of baby talking, sweetiepie, honeybunches, cuddle bear lovey-dovey stuff is going to make up for the fact that the guy treats you like crap.
You're not married. Don't stick yourself in a situation with a guy who says he loves you but doesn't act like it when it counts. Giving you hugs, saying "I love you", and missing you when you're gone isn't enough, if he disrespects you and gets mad if you aren't all lovey-dovey on him 24/7 after three years. A DOG would miss you if you were gone. That doesn't mean your relationship has what it takes to be long-lasting, successful and happy. If you get used to each other, even if you don't have an ideal relationship, you can miss each other when you're gone.
If this is mostly about the fact that he leaves socks around the house or the bathroom rug wet, get over it. If you really love the guy, deal with the little issues maturely. If it's about the fact that he YELLS at you, disrespects you, etc., then get out. If you don't think you can, and you BOTH want things to work, do some counseling. It helped my relationship.
2007-01-12 08:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can fall out of love as fast as you can fall in to it. First of all, if he loves you so much, why did he cheat on you in the first place? Saying "I love you" to someone and meaning it is all together different from just saying I love you. It almost sounds like he is doing these things just to aggrivate you. Try doing things to him that you know would aggrivate him and see how he likes it. Actin and talkin babyish to him? What does he think you are, his mother? If he is old enough to cheat on you he doesn't need to be talked to like a baby! I would strongly suggest you move on and find someone you deserve before things get worse!
2007-01-12 15:56:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmm....it's way past time that you both go your own ways. Find a way to let this guy down gently...and then change your name, leave town, and get a restraining order, etc. You're being a rug and being stepped on, and when you mention the word "violent" I see the writing on the wall for you, when I see he abuses things I know it will get worse. You see that too but don't know what to do about it.
2007-01-12 15:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two need some space. really and all that love love love bullshitt is phony and making me gag. when 2 people love each other you dont have to name all that shitt up top! really.
REAL LOVE STANDS OUT.
2007-01-12 15:52:48 · answer #4 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
run......get the hell out of there that type of relationship will just keep getting worse n worse. and eventually he will not be able to stop and think about what it will do to u
2007-01-12 15:55:59 · answer #5 · answered by angel of darkness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey that's relationships for you, People may fight in relationships but they might still be in love
2007-01-12 15:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by ~*♥Jessica♥*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋