Ok, so my mom is re-married to this man. He is okay half the time but the other time, he is a mean, selfish, voice raising brute. This morning he was yelling at my mom for some reason of his. It ended in my mom in tears, and him stomping out the door. I would hate to see my mom get hurt again by a divorce, and we are on the virge of just that. The only way he wins his little battles is to verbaly attack you and then make you cry. Then he thinks that he has won. You cant say anything to him to make him change his ways. And if we suggest family counceling, he will start up again so i know that that wont work. He is becoming a serious problem, and my mom and I are tired of it. And as the kid, no one likes to see their own mother cry. we need this to stop to stay a family... PLEASE HELP!!
2007-01-12 07:12:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She needs to get out before someone gets hurt or worse.
2007-01-12 07:16:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Mike in my opinion your mom is being emotionally abused and she is probably more then aware of this. You as the child in this relationship are probably affected by this man's outbursts also. If he refuses to attend for family counseling perhaps he would agree to take some form of anger management course so he could learn better outlets for his anger. You can support your mom by talking with her in a mature and caring manner. Sad that a kid has to witness this but it does happen far to often. Perhaps you can speak with a school counselor and inform them of what is happening and just use them to vent your anger etc. Whatever happens do not try and protect your mother by becoming physical against him as the odds are that you'll be on the losing end of that battle also. If you feel comfortable enough to approach this man when he is in a good mood ask him if the two of you can have a heart to heart talk. At that time inform him of how his behaviour makes both you and your mother feel and the fears associated with this anger. Even if he doesn't alter his behaviour after hearing how scary his outbursts are I bet that he will at least appreciate the fact that you had the backbone to approach and inform him of these issues. If you can talk with your mother and ask her to go to counseling for herself this would be very helpful also, either from a marriage counselor or even at a women's shelter to seek advice. You deserve to be commended on your care and concern for your mother and I would like to give you my personal kudos anyway. Best of luck to you and your family and hopefully soon enough this man will see the damage his outbursts are creating.
2007-01-12 15:26:14 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WE cant help you. If he is unwilling to try counseling it will only get worse and sadly a divorce may be the only way you and your mom can have peace in your home. There is no point in staying with a person that makes you cry and makes you sad 50% of the time.
2007-01-12 15:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her new husband sounds like a controlling jerk. If he doesn't stop what he is doing, the only option I see is divorce. You need to talk to your mom. I assume she is hurting already each time this thing happens, and I dont think the new hubby will change until she puts her foot down and tells him this: either you will change or you will leave. He needs an ultimatum or he will never change.
2007-01-12 15:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did your mom choose this type of relationship? She should not have done this to you, and unless she married for money, she really should leave. Being a single mom with a son like you, who sounds like a pretty good guy, is not the end of the world, and she can do it.
2007-01-12 15:24:21 · answer #5 · answered by Aurora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but divorce is the only way out. Show your support for your mom by spending a little more time with her, helping her with chores... and hugging her. She will need that.
2007-01-12 15:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by Developing Minds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only solution to this problem is divorce. he is doing way more harm than divorce will do. why bother. if she choses to stay it will only be a matter of time before his verbal abuse turns physical then she will either be in and out of the emergency room or the morgue. she needs to make a choice. stay where she is and remain unhappy and misreable or divorce and live for herself.
2007-01-12 15:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry to hear this, i wish i could help you,but your mom has to be the one who puts a stop to it. tell her what you have just shared with us and maybe it will help make her decsion in what ever she decides. hon, i know that you dont want for your mom to get another divorce,but sounds like in this case she needs to,if your step dad isnt willingly to get help. would you rather see her get hit or a divorce. i wish you and your mom lots of luck
2007-01-12 20:28:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is crazy and high tempered.. who knows what he will do next... your mom needs to stand up to him, let him know that it is either counselling or she is out of there.. or you need to talk to him.. tell him to get his act together and that you refuse to let him treat your mom that way..
I stand up to my father for my mom and now he got his act together..
2007-01-12 15:21:52 · answer #9 · answered by Tai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your mom to go see a marrage councler by herself...not both parties of the marrage has to be there! however, this is a mental abusive relationship and she needs to get out of it!!
2007-01-12 15:18:40 · answer #10 · answered by cantthinkofauseridsohereitis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋