hello, my name is Troy, and i'm getting married next year to my girlfreind Krissy, who I've been with for about 2 years now. we've been planning to get married for a year, and we're getting married once she graduates, i'll be in college, finishing up my first year. I just want to know if anyone else supports young marriages. And dont try to change my mind, i dont believe love has no age set. I just want to know if anyone else supports it. We are doing it for the right reasons, all we want is to spend the rest of our lives together, we cant go more then a day or two withought talking to eachother, and we cry whenever the other has to go home. please, dont critisize me, just tell me if you think young marriage is ok. We will have been together 4 years by the time we get married
2007-01-12 07:10:03 · 29 answers · asked by Troy E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes we are going to the same college, no we wont have children until LONG after we both have stable jobs, and no we're not going to quit school, that would be just, foolish, and yes its what we both want, marriage is never one sided. and we've both experianced the real world, and we like our world alot better then being alone.
2007-01-12 07:11:01 · update #1
Who cares what others think? Your adults. That's what I thought when I got married at 19. If you have people around you who love and care for you, then they will support your decision to be happy together.
2007-01-12 07:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was with my now ex-husband at 16, married at 18, and now divorced at 23 and I think that if you guys are really dedicated to being with one and another you should be able to have a little more patience with getting married. Why not live together or at least just finish college? My ex-husband and I were engaged a few months after dating and everyone told us that we should wait and that we will most likely come to regret it and let me tell you, I wish I would have listened. It is hard to listen to that kind of advice based on the fact that well, 'the heart wants what the heart wants' and trying to instill logic into a couple that only see with rose colored glasses is difficult if not, impossible but by doing so and waiting a little while longer you may save the relationship from the harsh realities that being so young and married can bring. The man I ended up marrying was a far shot from the man I fell in love with in that he ended up being very abusive and cheating on me left and right and was basically just a scumbag. We were both immature and thought when going into the marriage 'that love will save us and that we will be different then everyone else who was married young and divorced' but there are things that you really need to consider before deciding to exchange your vows. I promised myself that I wouldn't have a child until I was done with college and guess what? I have a three year old little girl and am far from having the degree I need for the profession that I am going into. Although she is the best thing to come out of that marriage, I bring it up because things will arise and marriage will not be the 'happily-ever after American dream' story that is force-fed to us by our culture and society. I mean I support the fact that you guys are young and have already found each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together but I just really don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did and go into this only think of love when there are so many other responsibilities and obligations that go with being married. You need to consider that marriage could ended up making things worse for you guys rather then better and that just deciding to wait does not necessitate that marriage will never happen but it is the more responsible and wiser decision for someone who is considering marriage. Take care and good luck with whatever decision you guys make :)
2007-01-12 07:50:02 · answer #2 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think that getting married too young can be a bad idea. I am 28 now and it amazes me how much I've grown and matured (and changed) since college. Your 20's are the best time to find out who you are as a person, and what you are really looking for in a life partner. You may think that the two of you are perfect for one another (and you very well may be), but I wouldn't rush into getting married just yet. Can't you just continue to date exclusively, and see how you feel in a few years? I hate to be pessimistic, but just about every one of my friends is married now (I am getting married next year) and three of my friends are already divorced (they all got married young - under 24) and several others are in unhappy marriages. In fact, my fiance was married when he was 24 (divorced within 6 years) and only now, at 34, is he REALLY ready to get married. If you do go ahead and get married now, I wish you both luck. But I would definitely recommend waiting just a few years to make SURE this is what you really want. One or both of you may change in the near future and you don't want to have to go through a divorce once you realize you've gotten married too soon.
2007-01-12 07:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by crabbyone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI... It seems your mind is made up already. You know what your heart and mind tell you. As far as a young marriages goes, I was married by thee age of 20. We have been married this coming Feb. 14th for 23 years. My marriage has had it's ups and downs. Like any other marriage or relationship. It is not easy and you have to work hard (the two of you) to keep the lines of communication, respect and love going. I wish you the best. Good luck.
2007-01-12 07:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by ppv918 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I support you - I think if your in love go for it. The only I am worried about for the both of you is........ I am speaking from experience here since I was very young when I got married is.... that over time people change as they grow and you start to have different dreams and aspirations. I think you can make it work if you really work together and communicate. I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-01-12 07:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your decision is your decision, but I am not a fan of young marriages. First of all you can be equally in love with someone and express the same love whether you are or are not married. Marriage brings about certain financial obligations and that can bring a lot of stress to a relationship. Marriage stress, financial stress, school stress...all these things are going to make your relationship strained whether you believe it or not. I just don't see the rush in doing something that can wait another couple of years.
2007-01-12 07:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is great that at such a young age you know you want to spend your lives together. A lot of people get married young. I totally support you and your decisions. I hope everything goes to plan and you and your girlfriend have great heads on your shoulders. Good Luck Troy~
2007-01-12 08:03:44 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Statistics are against you guys, (about 85% marriages under age 25 end in divorce) but it is possible. My mom was 20, my dad 25 when they got married; they have been married for almost 30 years. It's all about being committed and ready to fight, cry and compromise.
2007-01-12 07:14:25 · answer #8 · answered by Bridget W 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the couple. But marriage only has a 50% success rate no matter what the age...You guys have just as good of a chance as the rest of us! Good luck and congrats to ya!
2007-01-12 07:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The odds are against you. I know how great it feels to be in love, but you really should find out what makes the average marraige successful before you get engaged. If you already have, and you fit that criteria, CONGRATULATIONS! Why wait? What happens in two years? I mean if you're not ready right now, who's to say if you'll ever be?
2007-01-12 07:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋