2007-01-12 06:58:44 · 15 answers · asked by Michael L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well.....if she's 16 I understand you're hesitating. That certainally is the age of young female angst isn't it? Older, physically developed into a young woman but not quite emotionally mature and able to think reasonable thoughts at times.
You have to let her know that despite the fact you may be "old" in her eyes, you're not. That you still have many years left (hopefully) and that you have needs and desire affection and someone to talk to about the things that you cannot with her. Tell her that there are human physical as well as emotional needs and that its something we all need. To be touched, held, loved and comforted. Tell her that her mother had all of the qualities you looked for in a spouse and by a mean twist of fate she was taken from the both of you.
You can also say that this woman is a friend whose company you enjoy and although no one could ever take the place of mom she provides you with adult convsersation and you're able to discuss things with her that only she can relate to.
Explain to her that she (daughter) is at the age where she would have been bonding well with her mother as she's now maturing and has started to grown into a woman and not a girl anymore. Of course don't offer that this woman can talk to her about anything along those lines because let's face it...she's going to think immediately she's horning in on the late wife's territory. Just tell her that right now you don't feel its necessary to make any introductions. That is unless she (daughter) would like to meet her. Tell her this is something you will let her decide. But make it quite clear that this is the route you've decided to take after much soul-searching.
Good luck and I hope it goes smooth for you.
2007-01-12 07:28:37 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am sorry for your loss.
Second, it depends how soon you started dating and how is your daughter been coping with the loss of her mother.
I think that it's best, for now, to keep it under wraps, and only bring it up with her when you find someone that you will enter into a serious relationship with, otherwise, casual dating you keep to yourself. If your Daughter asks you right out, then do not lie, be gentle and diplomatic. Say something along the lines "No one will ever replace your mother, but I do need to go out there for my mental and physical health." In my opinion, till you find someone special again, leave your dating life and your private life to yourself.
2007-01-12 07:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
16 year olds ought to be mature enough to be able to handle this. On the other hand, if you're dating after a period of only 1 month since the death of your wife, your daughter's grief could be an obstacle. Be sensitive.
2007-01-12 07:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Death isn't easy to cope; Life isn't easy to live. Understand that your daughter is at the age of being mature enough to domesticate why her mother is no longer on earth and that you may want to move-on from her being deceased. Be sensitive to your daughter's emotional baggage because losing a parent isn't easy. Be real with her. Be up front. Talk with her and see how she feels about it. Do not give her an option of directing how your life goes but give her an option on how to accept it. You have to give her time.
I am not sure of how long your wife has been deceased, but I want to honestly ask you, Have you healed? Are you over her not being in your life? Are you sure, you're ready to move-on
You have my condolescence for your lose.
2007-01-12 07:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by Ab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be considerate of her feelings, I would first ask what she would think of the idea of your dating again. Of course you do not need her permission, however don't expect her to be too receptive about the idea. Alot of healing needs to be done. Hopefully you have thought of getting her someone to talk to, so she can morne in a healthy way. Only you know your daughter and her needs. If you have a good relationship with her, then discuss your concerns with her. Don't go and move another women in on her it will just add insult to injury.
2007-01-12 07:09:02 · answer #5 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be honest and tell her you have met someone that you like spending time with and you have been lonely, your in no way trying to replace her mom but you want to try to be happy again. At 16 she should be able to understand, she may not like it but, she will move on soon enough
Good luck
2007-01-12 07:04:59 · answer #6 · answered by loveamouse7767 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
16 years old are very smart and intuitive. She probably know has an idea. Sit down and calmly talk to her. That you met someone special in your life. Be sensitive and let her know that you are not trying to replace her mom. No one can do that. Good luck.
2007-01-12 07:10:00 · answer #7 · answered by ppv918 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your wife, dog. Excuse me for saying but I watch a lot of Court TV... as long as you didn't kill her, it shouldn't be a problem. She's 16, and nowadays that's a lot older than it used to be. Something tells me she'll understand. Whatta you think, dude?
2007-01-12 07:05:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will just have to man up and tell her, don't be scared break it to her gently by saying you know since your mom died i have been lonely and i have found someone that i can talk to now and do things with. Just like Nike Do It
2007-01-12 07:09:45 · answer #9 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how long your wife has been dead
i would tell her that i was dating for whatever reasons you are dating, if you feel she really needs to know
if you are not planning on including your date in your childs life
why bother saying anything period?
tell her, when you go on a date, you need personal time
2007-01-12 07:05:03 · answer #10 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋