if your daughter got pregnant young. What would you do?

Question

It sounds like a really wierd topic, and not one i have any experience of. But ive heard enough about it. It seems to me that a lot of parents would get annoyed and shout if their daughter got pregnant really young. To me it just seems really sad- the time they need their parents the most all the parents do is shout. Also does anyone think its slightly unfair that boys don't have any stigma attached if they get a girl pregnant at a young age but a girl automatically becomes a ****. Anyone got pregnant young? what would you do if your daughter got pregnant young?

Answer 1

honestly, I would want my daughter to not be afraid to come to me FIRST, and not to yahoo! answers! lol. Seriously, I want to be very open with my daughter, and I am evn now that she is 4. Some things of course you cannot be at that age, but I will give my daughter a good course, when she's old enough, on being cautious instead of beating into her head that sex is bad. Of course I don't want her to have sex at 12, 13, or even 18 :). But it happens, and you really can't control your kids in what they do when you aren't around them when they become teenagers. I wouldn't yell or scream, but give her advice, and hope she makes the right decision for herself. I would not force anything on her or make her feel bad. It takes two to tango....I just wouldn't want my fiance to catch the boy who did make her pregnant! :)

Answer 2

If it was 12 or 13 I'd get mad as she is having under aged sex. I know even 14 or 15 is under aged but by that time shes probably started her periods and her hormones have kicked in and she likes to try new stuff. Id be very supportive as I had a child when I was 14 and I know how hard it is by yourself. I would also just ask her why she hasn't told me shes been having unprotected sex and if she doesnt want the child I would get books and make her look up on the internet about abortions and adoption and I would discuss it with her. Then she could decide which way is best for her.

Answer 3

If it were me & my daughter:
(Got pregnant by of own will, not rape.)

I would encourage her to seek counseling & sex education with her partner...I would ask her to speak to teens about pregnancy, during the pregnancy! I would show her that through this mistake, can come a silver lining...Buy showing her that she would be giving the baby the most love she could by giving it to a loving, caring, ready couple! (And that they would be the only people to ever thank her for her mistake!) I would insist that the boyfriend/partner attend all Dr.'s appointments & the delivery. And that him & his family pay for half of the medical expenses!

That may seem drastic to some but most teens if they do not learn form this mistake, repeat! I would over educate in hopes of discouraging another unwanted pregnancy!

Should my daughter refuse to give the child up for adoption, her consequences would be thus: in order to continue living at home she would have to have a job, at which point she would be financial independent from us. (If she chooses to have her own family, than so be it.) I would still be a loving grandmother, however I would not take over any mothering role of her child, & babysitting would only be offered when absolutely needed, not just to go out, not even for her to go to work/school!. She would be able to live at home, until 18. Her first priority would be the baby. (not school) School is a privilege!!! One that she gave up by getting pregnant. She could attend night classes! (Not that an education was important to her or she wouldn't have had sex!) And certainly we/she would file for child support from the father.

I know this makes me sound cold... It is hypothetical! I only have 1, 3 year old son. I want more though! I saw several (more than 4) girlfriends get pregnant at ages ranging between 14 &19, some more than once. I have a very clear understanding of what happens. I also love my children enough to teach them discipline early in hope of never having this happen. I cannot stress the importance of sexual education & basic anatomy to children of any age. We can teach them about sex, and their bodies & abstinence early & honestly, it is a normal human function!!! NORMAL!

Answer 4

hi
i have a 6 year old daughter and to be honest i am petrified of the thought that one day she will come home and announce she is expecting... i think it mostly falls down to education and what values you put forward to your children... i think i would be more worried of her contracting a disease more than anything else, so condoms are a must along with the pill and as early as 13 14 years old if need be, lets be honest you cannot watch your children all hours of the day and you cannot keep them in the home all of the time either, i am very open with my thoughts and feelings with both of my children to the point where my eldest being a boy will tell me everything knowing that i will always love him and support him no matter what, so hopefully my daughter will discuss these issues with me when they arise, but if she did get pregnant i would be upset and would discuss this with her but also discuss any options with her fully and to what effect it may have on her future, after that the decision will be hers and i will support her the best i possibly can, that's all a good parent can do.

Answer 5

I have two boys and I would be upset if they got a girl pregnant at a young age. This is because I feel life is hard enough without being a child raising a child. Having said that I would offer every support that I could to them (and the girl) because the reality is that a baby is on the way, I wouldn't scream and shout but I would worry inside. The same if I had a daughter, there's no way I could abandon my child (and theirs) though I know it would be hard. My cousin had two children under the age of 2yrs by the age of 18 (she now has a third! - and she's now 24) and she has to be one of the best Mothers I have ever met, I admire her greatly (of course she has the love and support of the Dad which makes it easier, but they have done a fantastic job). Weirdly, I had my second child at age 29 (the first at 24) and I was still nervous to tell my Mum!, even though she has been nothing but supportive to me and my boys!

Answer 6

My niece has just fallen pregnant and is still very young so it's a topic close to my heart. I know her parents are disappointed and hurt (especially since her father is an elder in their local church and they have three other younger children to worry about). If my child had to fall pregnant at a young age I would try to be as loving and supportive as possible. I would look after the child so that they could further their education (so as to get themselves into a more financially secure position where they can actually take care of a child properly) and I would ensure that the child got more than enough love and attention rather than resentment. After all, children do not ask to be born, and who can resist loving them??

Answer 7

If my daughter came home pregnant at a young age I would try to be supportive and offer as much advice as possible in order for her to make an informed choice about what to do next. That is not to say I would be happy about the situation, or condone what has happened. However what is done is done and there is no point yelling about it. It wont get either of you anywhere and may result in your daughter feeling like she cannot talk to you if she needs to.

Answer 8

my daughter was 14 when she came home handed me a precnancy test and said guess wat im preg. my first reply was sh@t happens
i sat her down we talked through all the options one at a time she decided she wanted to go ahead with the pregnancy i cant say i was happy or unhappy with the situation it was just sumthing that was dealt with as it happens
i was at the hospital when she delivered her daughter 2 weeks after her 15th birthday my own mum was the chosen delivery partner
she had complications with the birth and ended up getting a c- sections after 5 days in hospital both mother and baby come home to my house
i now have a gorgeous 9 month old granddaughter i wouldnt swap for the world
i am dissappointed that my daughter fell pregnant so young but i also admire her for the way she coped with a difficult situation
my daughter is almost 16 now still attends school still has a great group friends and looks after and copes with an active lively baby and at school every1 nos bout the baby and hasnt labeled her a @@@@ or anything like that

Answer 9

My kids are almost grown, but I have thought about this often when my daughters go out. Of course we would yell and be upset. The reason is because we love our kids and want the best for them and a teen pregnancy can really mess up a kid's life. Plus a baby is a big responsibility so we are concerned about how we will all handle this. Parents are just as scared as the kids are at that time. I would be there for my daughter and help her make the best decision for the baby and her life. I would never force my own wishes on her, that is not right. If she has made an adult decision about sex, then she needs to face it like that also. I would also make sure that she finishes school and never gives up her dreams for her future. And last but not least, the boy and his parents would have their fannies involved too! Daddy would be going through this all right along with my daughter, he helped create the situatation! It is definately not fair for the dad to just go on his merry way! No way!

Answer 10

I got pregnant young (well 18..these days it doesnt seem young) my son is now nearly 4 1/2, i'm coming up to 24...

My mum cried her heart out, she didnt once shout or scream or even ask what i was going to do, all she said was she loved me, amazing..

My dad on the other hand (bearing in mind im the fave of three girls AND the closest thing to a son as i was the tom boy of the family) went mad, and actually asked me to get rid of my baby, not because hes all into that, but he knew what would happen with my sons dad and he so wanted me to get my education, I said no i was keeping the baby and he didnt talk to me for two months...i was still living at home..

then one day at 4 months gone i walked down stairs with my bump squeezed under a jumper and dad said 'alright bumpy?!' and that was it...nothing but support from him..even though he wasnt happy he respected my descion...

I actually continued at college and got the qualification, and then started a new course at 8 1/2 months pregnant and completed that too...

So its not all bad, if you want things in life you just have to work for them...if you make a mistake then i think if you are willing to accept that then parents should be a little more supportive, i know its hard though, and ive never been on the other side, but its not all bad having a baby young.

saying that id not advise it either and my dad was right to worry, my boyfriend hit me and we split when my son was 6 months old...all whilst i was still studying at college...taking my baby with me...was a gard time but we made it!

Answer 11

Being that i've been through the part of life when your parents aren't there for you like they should be. I know better than to leave my children wondering about sex and letting them find out the hard way. From the age of 10-11 i'm going to teach my children about sex and all of the consequences and of course how to protect themselves. The younger the better now a days, sex is everywhere there's no denying it. If my daughter got pregnant young i would cry! But i'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen. If my son were to get a girl pregnant i would make damn sure he takes care of his responsibility, mama didn't raise no fool!