The whore is married through herself at him, they were using drugs and decided to hook up for months, she has three other kids by the way from her husband. I moved out and have been raising our son for the past 6 months on my own. He is now sober and clean for a month and wants to make it work, how could it ever? What should I do? We have been married for four years and have a three year old together...I need help!!!
2007-01-12 06:25:01 · 27 answers · asked by Antionette g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would order a paternity test on the baby...it could be your husband's or her husband's. If it's not your husband's, then I think you can try to make it work if you want. It won't be easy. If it is his child, then you have no choice but to leave him.
2007-01-12 06:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good effort on his part to get sober, however it is not enough time for you to trust that he is a changed man. After all the reason he cheated was not because he was drunk. He has disrespected you in a major way. Now there is another child involved in this mess. Shame on him. You do not have to do anything. The responsibility to mend this relationship is all on him, but only if thats what you want. His actions will speak louder than his words. he will have to be acountable for his every move, and can not become resentful for having to do so. he needs to work two jobs if necessary, so he can provide for this other baby till its 18yrs old. He will have to have a relationship with this other woman in order to be a part of this childs life. What a mess he has made. You do not have to be a part of this. Is your marriage worth saving? That is the big question. There is alot of work ahead of you. You can not possibly be prepared. Get some professional help if you choose to stay.
2007-01-12 07:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its to bad they come up with a book on how to answer these questions. Just rember your very blessed to have ur baby. Only you know if you still love him enough to forgive.
Having step children is hard but it would be very hard to see his other baby and know it was conceived when you were together. Please dont feel like you owe it to your husband to forgive him and get back. you can forgive a person but that doesnt mean you have to be with him.
Forgive to help you move on.
How i would answer this question is think of someone you really love like your three year old pretend she is a grown up and she had the same thing happen to her , you would probally say your to smart to pretty to put it with this dont take him back.
And another thing a very wise woman once told me is Honey dont let your strength be your weakness. I never knew what that meant And it means do not put with alot of things from a man just to prove you are strong. you can do it on your own. Your still young.
If you do decide to take him back you make him earn his way back. It can work but it couldnt with me personally because the other child will always be a reminder. Good Bless you and i am sorry this happen to you
2007-01-12 07:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by jerry w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to prove to you by being sober for a lot longer than a month. And he needs to prove that he's sorry. You also have to accept the fact that he will have another child to support. I would take some time, figure out if that's what you can live with. If not, I would move on amicably for your 3 year old.
2007-01-16 06:08:44 · answer #4 · answered by privatsoccer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be clean but he will always be connected to her because they are having a baby together. He has been sober for a month who is to say that he will not go and start his old ways again? I could never forgive my hubby for getting his mistress pregnant. It would be over and I could not forgive that. You need to see if you can put that behind you if not don't go back to him file for divorce
2007-01-12 07:05:44 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the only help you need is with your bags. Don't dare think about taking him back. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Please do yourself a huge favor and move on. You and your son will be so much better off without all that drama. By the way, one month is hardly progress for an addict. When he's clean for 4 years and hasn't relapsed, then maybe you could think about it. Otherwise, continue on with your life without him. Thank you and GOD bless.
2007-01-12 06:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn. Sorry to hear about it, baby, but it sounds like between the other woman, the pregnancy and the drugs... you should be happy you have only one child with him. Don't think of it in terms of I'm Leaving vs. I'm Staying. Look at it as doing what's PROBABLY best for you and your child, and yes, for your husband as well.
I say "probably" because there's really no way to know at the time. You just have to hope your reasons were sound enough. It sounds to me like you all would benefit from moving to a better place, whether you stayed together or not
2007-01-12 06:42:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
u will really never get past this, there is a child involved, that will be in your life for a long time, as well as this woman to. can u really say u could put up with problems for years. personally i would let him have her, and this would be no marriage i would want to be in ever again, no matter how sincere he was. he chose her over u, and now there is a baby that u know she will be seeking money for probably through the courts. it will take money away from your family and u will feel resentful. plus along with the infidelity u also have a husband who has an addiction problem, and that's how he ended up with her in the first place. got to ask yourself, when will he do it again to me?
2007-01-12 06:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Aw, well I have to say you should just keep raising your son the way you are! Youve made it six months you can keep going! I personally wouldnt trust him again, sure using drugs can affect judgement, but if they hooked up for months, was he on drugs every single moment that entire time?! No!, so he had moments where he could have set things right! I would just stay away! You deserve better than him, and if you take him back you wont give yourself the opportunity to meet someone better! Good luck whatever you choose!
2007-01-12 06:33:15 · answer #9 · answered by Lola 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ask if you can be the godmother.
Someone has to raise that child in a decent morally inclined atmosphere. Like a good godmother.
Other than that,
Get 50% of everything, sell the house, move to a nice quiet warm place and find a decent man
2007-01-12 06:39:05 · answer #10 · answered by NoAnswers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is just a yucky situation through and through. He may have been doing good for one month, but all it takes is one second for him to fall backward. If you take him back and your life is feeling safe and secure, he'll do it again. Men are creatures of habit and us women forget that. Time to stop piting yourself, you did it for 6 months, you can do it on your own. You don't need him, for real.
2007-01-12 06:50:03 · answer #11 · answered by believe in yourself & the world believes with you 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋