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Is he just using her, what the hell could they have in common, apart from the obvious. If a girl had no father from the age of 14 months old, is this why she is attracted to the older man? one after the other, after the other, but, they are all bad, ex prisoners, every one of them, the badder the better, although she is part of a loving family, with an excellent step dad. Does she need help? What is wrong? She is gorgeous to look at, and has the heart of an angel, but persistently goes for bad men, old enough to be her father, why is this? What is making her think this way?

2007-01-12 06:14:38 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

46 answers

I think that she needs counseling before she goes further down a dead end, I believe also that shes angry that she didn't have a dad (whatever the reasons and this will be the issue of it all, what happened to her father?), that's why she looks for older bad guys. But please my best advise is to be careful, I don't want to sound like a party pupper or anything but well, you never know.

2007-01-12 06:23:14 · answer #1 · answered by erik m 2 · 0 2

This is hard one to answer but I will put a little dip on it ,maybe the first time she had sex it was with someone older then she,so she was turned out by a older guy, had realationship with her age and no satifaction,now far as she messing around with convicts and thugs thats probley to scare away people that attempts to try to make her choose another way of living,call it security, I WONDER about the stepfather it also might have something what people see on the outside is totally different in the inside,also by her being a nice looking she could have been accused at one time or the other, now a man who messes with a baby is a molester no if ands buts it that is just to young and if you are 30- or older you have a problem not permitting to late 20's either but values do play a big A.. part in this lets hope that when dicides to father time she will be able to leave safely REAL TALK

2007-01-12 06:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by wootsie12001 1 · 0 0

Age isn't a always a factor in a relationship. One of my friends is 19 and she's involved with a 31 year old and he is probably the best thing that has ever happened to her. He's kinda and caring and treats her a lot better than most of the guys our age treat girls. Sometimes things jus happen. As far as him being bad, as long as he doesn't hurt her or make her commit crimes then be happy for her and just be there for her when she needs you

2007-01-12 08:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by Kty M 1 · 0 0

Older men and younger women, as a older man I can say that younger women are uniquely desirable. Often times their limited experience and their need to be loved can be gratifying to older guys. Some guys use young women, others need them. Just like your friend's need to be with older guys. We've all got issues, it may not be her thinking that's flawed, it may be the guys that she's pursuing. You can't dissuade her--until she has been through all the changes--she will continue moving in that direction.
Ask her, is there something about the May/December relationships that she enjoys? Find out what she is looking for. Some of us like the opposite, and opposites attract.

2007-01-12 06:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by FunkyMcNasty 3 · 0 0

You are pretty right about what her problem is. She is seeking approval and love from a male "father figure."
For some reason she may feel she is unworthy of the step-dad.
As for them, they are just letches who are taking advantage of the situation. Men have an easier time bossing a young girl around, and of course they often think they are deserving of such a sweet young thing for sex, no matter how disgusting they are personally.
Sounds like the "loving family" needs to get her to some therapy .. and perhaps get all of them into family therapy to help her. Her relationships could be worse than toxic, they could eventually become fatal.

2007-01-12 06:20:37 · answer #5 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0 1

Well it is common actually girls who have absent or no father at all go look for an older partner as a way for compensating the absency of a (real) one. It´s some sort of "Electra" complex. And for the "Bad" part of men you´re talking about, it may be (1) - The girl sees that toughness as "Improved manhood" then projects those characteristics into an "alpha male character", an ideal and strong kind of father-like protector/lover that provides her with convidence improvement. (2) - The girl subconsciuously wants to punish herself for something she thinks is her fault that perhaps may have happened to her mother or father or any other member of the family. (3) - The girl is subconsciously wants to avoid something likely that one thing that may have happened to her mother in the past. Then she goes looking for that type of men.P.S - JUST IDEAS, IT MAY WELL BE JUST A LOT OF CRAP. Regards, Gabriel.

2007-01-12 06:27:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Those kind of men are pathetic and are unable to carry on a real relationship. They only want an object for their, um, affection. They can have nothing in common.

It sounds like the girl has a problem with her self-image. Do you know if there was any abuse in her past? She obviously doesn't think she's worthy of a better relationship. She could be trying to get a father figure, but it sounds deeper than that. If you have any influence, see if you can suggest she work it out in counseling.

2007-01-12 06:21:52 · answer #7 · answered by C C 3 · 0 1

It could be that she has low self esteem. Or maybe she just wants an experienced man. You know a man that already has everything and that can take care of her, give her money. Also she could be mature for her age and doesn't want to deal with the young boys. However if the men aren't treating her right and it doesn't matter how old they are. If someone doesn't treat you right then you need to move on.

2007-01-12 06:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by Heaven26 3 · 0 1

Have you ever considered that she just might like older men and/or a bit of rough!

Sorry but you are butting in on an 18 yr olds life and it has nothing to do with you! You just need to be her friend to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart!

2007-01-12 06:19:33 · answer #9 · answered by jamand 7 · 1 0

she is probably trying to fill the place of a man in her life since she never had a father in her life. Sometimes the age difference can work. but if these guys are ex-cons and "really bad" or whatever it probably isn't a good idea. if you associate with people like that your chances are so much higher of getting raped and abused. Jail is supposed to help the people learn from their mistakes and make them better people. but it just doesn't usually happen. she needs to be careful! (and most of the guys are probably just with her for the sex. guys totally get off on the idea of a young hott girl, especially after being locked in jail around a bunch of guys)

Hope this helps!

2007-01-12 06:21:25 · answer #10 · answered by Just Me 1 · 0 1

"Is he just using her...?" YES
"Does she need help?" YES

"What is making her think this way?" Low self-esteem. The need to be recognized and valued. The feeling of "maturity" that comes from dating an older man. Speaking from experience, the girl is being used, and an older man does not necessarily mean a mature man. This girl is allowing herself to be used in an attempt to feel valued; however, the girl's value to the guy is only based on the guy's ego being boosted, and the sex involved.

A REAL man would not date a girl young enough to be his daughter. A REAL man respects his partner and would walk on broken glass to bring her roses. A REAL man would not pressure a girl to compromise herself to satisfy his needs. A REAL man encourages his woman to mature, grow and develop her own sense of identity.

The girl should not be dating anyone until she can discover her true worth. The girl needs to recognize her beauty and strength and the power she has to say "no" to bad relationships.

2007-01-12 06:26:29 · answer #11 · answered by marianne 3 · 0 1

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