his cousin and brother moved in with us and have trouble keeping clean. i get frustraded and ive been a b****. he is now extremley mad at me and says ive disrespected his family and we have been fighting for a week. what should i do?
2007-01-12 05:47:36 · 32 answers · asked by Jessica T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
move out...that will show him!
2007-01-12 05:49:53 · answer #1 · answered by ha ha 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take this advice or ditch it.
Meet him for breakfast or something in a neutral location. Maybe even someplace neither of you have been before together. A crowded public place so the conversation stays civil.
Write down the details of what's happening that began all of this and the solutions you see as options. If you fail to be able to clarify what it is that's bothering you - in writing - then why have a conversation with him about any of it.
Open up the conversation and guide it in this direction. When you start to get to the topic let him know that you know this may be frustrating but that you do want to work together towards a reasonable solution.
Before you share with him the solutions you see as options ask him what solutions he sees. See if there's some common ground before doing your "preaching." Then begin to mention any solutions he has failed to state.
It's time to be an adult and have a mature conversation. In the event that things get worse I would seriously recommend you move on. If he's going to be so stubborn as to continue bickering over something this silly then cut bait and go fish for a real relationship with a real man.
Better to learn this now than invest more time, money and effort into a relationship where he disrespects your values and opinions.
2007-01-12 05:56:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course, you can apologize for acting out your frustrations...it is a very human response however, so don't feel too badly about it. Ask to have a conversation with everyone and explain your feelings. If they are unwilling to actually clean up the place or after themselves, consider hiring a cleaning person and have them split the bill amongst themselves. Breathe deeply through your abdomen when you get frustrated and try not to waste too much energy on it.
2007-01-12 07:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by heatherb9 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's disrespect you by shacking up with you without marriage, and moving his family in. I think you should move out. If he wants to live with you, he should marry you.
If he wants a bed partner, maid and someone to share bills with, he should keep looking.
Why are you tolerating this sort of arrangement? Don't you deserve better, or is this all you believe "love" amounts to?
2007-01-12 05:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has disrespected u, if he values u he needs to get those freeloaders out of his home, if not they are his priority and not u. should be the other way around if u want the truth. if he loves u he needs to make them get out of your home, if he doesn't then he don't love u, and u need to leave him asap. couldn't feel to good about yourself if he takes their side, and fails to see that they have caused this problem, and not u. if the freeloaders can't respect your home, and he won't speak up for what is right he is just a coward, and u haven't lost anything when u walk out of his life. his way of thinking is all screwed up and he seems to think more of his family than he does u. u are suppose to be the love of his life, and if your not, leave the creep.
2007-01-12 06:15:27 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't invest more than 2 - 3 yrs in a relationship without marriage.
You are supposed to be his lover, best friend and companion..
His loyalties should be with you, not is brother & cousin...
Sounds like he needs to learn about reality or you need to
find a more mature man to love & care for you...
2007-01-12 05:52:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say....that you might want to just up and leave. I mean if he thinks its ok to run over you and not even take your feelings into consideration.....thats not right. It might be his family but you and him are the main people that established that place and if he likes living in a pigsty...then tell him you dont and say you need to understand what i am trying to say and if he doesnt then go and stay somewhere else and if he doesnt come to his senses.....he wasnt worth it.
2007-01-12 05:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by Believe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would politley confront all of them and explain why you are so upset. Your Boyfriend says that you have disrespected his family, but what about your home? To recieve respect you must know how to give it. Don't clean up after them let him see how dirty the are. Don't let them walk all over you, stand your ground.
2007-01-12 05:53:55 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to chill out and that you are not a maid. If his cousin and brother want to be pigs, then it is up to him to set them straight as they are in your home and need to abide by your rules. They are all taking advantage of you and quite frankly they have some nerve to be mad at you when you are the one doing all the work.
2007-01-12 05:51:00 · answer #9 · answered by D N 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There isn't much you can do. They are his family and you are not. Your importance to him has just been pointed out to you (by him) in no uncertain terms. After 4 years you should probably insist on making it official and that you outrank them. Consider marriage or cutting him loose and finding someone who WILL put you first.
2007-01-12 05:51:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of looking at the other person, of which we all are guilty of, it's time to search one's self. There is a problem that your mind goes over and over, in order to wrap it, and then be able to deal with the next person, soul search. Then, approach, "I am, very disturbed about blah, blah, blah, and unless you and I can come to an agreement, then like God said, we just can't walk together. So, for me to better deal with myself I think you should leave. Thank you.
2007-01-12 05:57:57 · answer #11 · answered by Felecia Holly 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋