How can you change/ or how can an abusive person change? Where can I find counseling & what type am I looking?

Question

My Boyfriend is abusive to me he has ahistory of unemployment, he is controlling, he beats me physically & emotionally. he makes me feel bad about myself, he has forced sex on me, he as been charged with rape before but was found not guilty. He is so agressive yet he claims he loves me, he has days where he is just flat out mean & rude anything triggers him if I dont move fast enough he will bend my fingers. he never gotten me any gifts he has a lot of negative comments ( then he says he is just joking) about me...last night I got it really bad over nothing in my opinion, he overreacted as usual, noe he says we can go to counceling he wants to work it out. What type of counseling does he need? How can he change? he says he feels bad about beating me because it was not right. How can a person change how can I help him become a better person?

Answer 1

I think you need to find out what love really is and isn't. Read in the Bible, I Corinthians 13 "The Love Chapter" where it says love is patient and kind and seeks not its own way at the expense of others. Love isn't boastful or proud and always thinks the positive. This love is such that it will gladly give its own life to save the life of another. This kind of love is what has kept my wife and I married for over 28 years.

I don't think you are in a loving relationship with this guy. You need to break it off with him. I don't think either one of you is experiencing true love and he is a control freak using you for sex and his power game. To start with, he needs to go to an anger management class with a professional counselor and get over whatever has made him the way he is.

You should find a Bible believing church and join the singles group there. They will help you heal from what you have experienced and you might just find the guy of your dreams since most of them there will be practicing what has been written in the Bible.

Answer 2

I don't know how old you are but what are you waiting for ???? RUN.. have some self respect and read what you wrote... he raped you and won't be found guilty for that either. He beats you up physically & emontionally and you are still there?? WHY??? waiting for a free ride, to the hospital ?? He will not change. If he did how long would that take and by the way you did not say one nice word about him. Does that not tell you anything? Don't worry about him becoming a better person. Worry about yourself before all you become are bits and pieces of a human.

Answer 3

there is not something you're able to do to alter him. that's not your fault he acts this manner, that's his fault. remember, each guy or woman is answerable for his or her very own strikes. no person makes you do something, you do it your self considering you prefer to. he will purely exchange if he rather needs to alter. the outlook isn't sturdy. in my opinon, that's a hopeless reason, and he won't in any respect exchange. purely you will would desire to alter every time, simply by fact he will beat you up and placed you down sufficient, and you will would desire to hold your tongue at a similar time as he verbally abuses you in case you prefer to stay. in case you will stay with him, one thank you to alter him is while he beats you up, call the police and have him put in penitentiary. this could deter him from beating you for a at a similar time as. even if i don't think of you will desire to even stay with this guy or woman 5 greater minutes, i've got faith you will. I even have placed up with alot, yet you point out rape, it is a few thing i wouldn't in any respect placed up with. that is going too far. he needs to work out a psychiatrist, simply by fact of his issues, drugs would help and he needs extensive treatment, a minimum of as quickly as a week. some thing or somebody has in all danger brought about him to be this manner. that's recommended to evaluate a marriage counselor, no remember while you're married or not, considering you will the two would desire to bypass, even if he's the only with issues. sometime you will desire to observe a communication teach, the place women such as you teach how their lives finally end up, or they have already been killed by their abuser, and their mom is there crying and exhibiting a image of her daughter who exchange into actually beat to dying by her boyfriend. yet another one, sister talks approximately her older sister, who exchange into stabbed fifty 5 circumstances with a butcher knife by her loopy husband. husband cuts up spouse's face decrease up until it exchange into disfigured and the ladies needed elegance surgical treatment yet look as though a monster. finished family members, spouse and a couple of little ones, murdered with a shotgun simply by fact the husband had a greater healthful of rage. while you at the instant are not careful, this could be you. please bypass away this guy or woman. you could not exchange him

Answer 4

End the relationship. He has a lot of work to do on himself before he will be ready, if ever, for a relationship. I bet counseling would end up in him trying to blame you for everything.