I'm 15, for 2 years I've hardly taked with my parents. That time I messed up, did some bad stuff like drinking and coming home late. Bad crowds. I ended up getting a harsh punishment and my dad even spanked me. I was wrong but they couldn't do that, they didn't act like parents, so I stopped loving them and nothing has changed so far. Today I don't do stupid things, have a good head, I'm an excellent student, even take part in volunteering activities. They tried to make up w/ me and even say they are proud of me, but I have my principles and refused. Now they are getting really exasperated, can1't acept this situation. So far they haven't taken revenges on me, though I'm cold and avoid them, they diodn't take anything away, I have the same life I'd have if my reçlationship with them was good. And this is fair, cause I don't get in troubles and don't do anything wrong. But I'm afraid they can decide to make my life miserable to force me to change. This would be a real revenge.
2007-01-12 05:01:44 · 10 answers · asked by Samantha 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Parents don't take revenge, at least not good ones. And I think you have them.
They have not treated you in a lesser way, even though you are exacting revenge toward them. If they were going to, they would have.
It is probably that harsh punishment that turned you around even if you don't think so or want to admit it. We do not punish our kids out of hate. We do so in hopes they will not repaeat bad behaviors. I seldom spanked my son, because he responded to losing privledges. My daughter was spanked a good bit and only responed to that. I had not spanked her for 2.5 years when she went of on my wife calling her names etc. She was 14 going on 15 and told me that I could not spank her. She was wrong.
Today she is 32 and with kids of her own, some of whom she spanks on occasion.
She was mad at me for about 2 months back then, but thnaks me for being a good parent today.
Perhaps we don't always choose the right discipline, but probably do most times. Babies don't arrive with an owners manual.
You need to stop trying to get revenge with your cold actions and start treating them with love and respect. As they do you. They have not taken your stuff away or given up on you and they tell you they are proud. You should respond in kind and I think you really know this.
Holding grudges in life will not serve you well and it will cost you relationships and jobs and more.
Best of luck to you!
2007-01-12 05:24:29 · answer #1 · answered by rumbler_12 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please remember that you only have one mom and one dad!
Everyone, including parents, make mistakes!
You say that you would have the same life with or without them?? Where would you have lived, who would have bought your clothing, computer access...there are kids that would LOVE a father to spank them..discipline is part of parenting, right wrong or in-different.
Personally I would not have spanked you for getting drunk, and running with a bad crowd, I would have packed your bags and got you into a re-hab...they DID act like parents by letting you know your behavior was un-acceptable... Now you are acting like a spoiled teenager, by trying to take revenge on them for helping you change your life!
I wish that someone would have held me accountable for my wrong actions as a child...my life would have been much easier...maybe I wouldn't have had the addiction problems that I had...if my parents would have interfered!
I am SURE your parents ARE proud of you for your changes, it's hard work to get back on the right track...now grow up, and realize that your parents could drop dead tomorrow...then where would you be?
Keep up your good work, just take it a step further, and mend your relationship with your parents!
Let them know how you feel, calm talks can help things change...for the better...
2007-01-12 05:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by kat k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but your parents really do love you. I'm willing to bet that they are scared to death of you making (normal) teenage mistakes.
I'm so sorry that things seem so cold at home for you right now. I think the best thing for you to do would be to try and warm things up a bit. Be respectful to your folks and give them the benifit of the doubt. They're feeling just as bad as you do right now.
You sound like a great kid and they've got alot to be proud of. Not many kids your age take on volunteering and have excellent study habbits.
I do belive that you've got a GREAT head on your shoulders. You know right from wrong and you probably punished yourself much harsher than your parents ever could have with spanking you.
I really think that your parents should be the ones to break the ice with you, but if they don't it's because they're afraid. In that case you should try. If that doesnt work, then you should just be PROUD of the person that you are and the values you have.
Parents are not always right and they're not always perfect.
We all make mistakes.
(((((((hugs)))))))) ~ you need one right now.
2007-01-12 05:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by bluegrass 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOL? A little dramatic, huh?
This is so silly. You are holding a grudge and grudges don't get you anywhere. Your parents probably didn't know what else to do when you were in trouble so they did the best they could.
Do they still feed you? Do they still clothe you? Do they still pay for your rent? Yes! Regardless of the fact that they are your parents, you should be kind to the people who provide for you. The day you move out and you're financially stable is the day you can act like this.
Had they not spanked you and been hard on you, would you still be in with the "bad crowd?" I think so. They did what they thought was best. It's been two years and it's time to let it go.
2007-01-12 05:07:58 · answer #4 · answered by .vato. 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
there r 2 techniques of residing a existence. one is stay how that's occurring or decide on a thank you to alter it. Revenge isn't a reliable element. it purely brings hatred and worry. Revenge is the element which never ends until finally the ends of the existence.. so attempt to removed from Revenge.
2016-10-19 21:08:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey..I can totally relate to this I really really can,I am a 20 year old grown woman and mother now but when I was a young teen I was pretty wild,I started dating the wrong kind of guy at 13 and by 14 I was smoking,drinking and doing drugs.I didnt listen to anybody including my mom and stepdad or my step brothers and sisters.I snuck out all the time,did crazy wild irresponsible dangerous things and now I know how lucky I am that nothing seriously bad happened to me.Toward the end of my 8th grade year I skipped school with my bf and a bunch of my miscreant friends,we tried to buy cigarettes with no ID,the clerk called the cops,we figured out what was going on and took off,they apprehended all of us down the street a ways.The cops took us all back to school and when I got home my stepdad had had enough once and for all and spanked me with his belt like a 9 year old but to this day I really think its what saved me.They took me out of public school away from all my friends and boyfriend and monitored me very carefully for a long time and I too just like you turned my life around,but believe me on this your parents really do love you.Teenage years arent easy for anybody including parents and the fact that you and I went through experiences like this will probably help us have an insight on our teenagers one day but really for now just forgive and forget or at least try.I harbored bad feelings toward my parents for years and now I really wish I hadnt because we lost alot of time,it not only distanced me from them but from my siblings as well,just like any other situation there is no point in staying angry forever.Your parents wont be around forever,I know everyone says that and it doesnt really hit home until something happens but its all too true.My mom is dying of cancer now and I'm only 20,I sure wish I hadnt wasted so much time holding a grudge.Try to make amends for your sake and theirs.
2007-01-15 06:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by Sweetie1204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was disciplined thoroughly as a child and I am a happy and successful adult who loved my parents then, even when I was mad and love them so much still today.
I am happy, but life was so much easier then.
You are getting revenge, they are not. You are now old enough to know you are acting badly. I think you probably know it too!
you're pretty lucky I'd say!
2007-01-12 05:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by winfielder74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a little brat who will grow up some day and realize just how wrong you are. You disobeyed, got punished and you've stayed mad all these years? Wow, that's a nice glimpse into your future relationships.
2007-01-12 05:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by kathy059 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
yes...yes your parents can take their revenge, but really you should open up to them. You only get one set of parents and one life to live, and when you turn 18 and try to live on your own you will miss them and the sanctity of their home. you will realize how much that they have done for you with just providing you with a home and food to eat. once you realize you will wish you would have forgave them.
2007-01-12 05:08:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
If they ever hit you again, here's the number to call:
911
2007-01-12 05:23:32 · answer #10 · answered by Umm Me 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋