Spanking dilemma?

Question

I remember when I was younger my mom used to spank me for every bad little thing I did with whatever was closest to her, and it kept me in line, kind of knocked some sense into me from time to time.

NOW..

I KNOW some people might say spanking is not the way to go (I don't have any children, when I do I don't think i'll ever resort to spanking)

Question is:

Where do you stand on the subject of "Spanking"? Good/bad.. effective/worthless? Just curious :)

Answer 1

"Spanking" is, very simply, commiting assault and battery on a child to get that child to do whatever it is you want. Don't want to beat around the bush here - physical punishment, swat, smack, spank, tap, paddle are all HITTING. That anyone could hit someone not only defenseless but completely trusting as well is a travesty. A TRAVESTY. It makes me sick. How would you feel if someone smacked you when you were in a bad mood, or hungry, or tired, or not doing exactly what they want you to do? It is beyond wrong. That it is still practiced by so many is proof that we are not as "evolved" as we think we are. It is always done in anger - violence is never commited lovingly. Wish I could sugarcoat it for everyone more, but the fact is that nobody was "better" a couple of decades ago when hitting was so "acceptable". In the 1950s, 91% of parents agreed that they would or had "spanked" their children. In 2005, a study was done in America finding that a little more than 95% of parents agree on utilizing physical punishment with children. Still ain't working.

I don't care what anyone does - if it's a padded "tap" or a "red bottom" (vomit), it is ALWAYS wrong. There are ways to discipline and teach that actually respect the body and soul of a child. I'm so tired of the excuses. You hit your kid? Your kid grows up so ashamed that he/she does it to their own child(ren) because if not it would mean coming to terms with the fact that the people he or she loved and trusted most were terribly wrong.

I'm sorry you've suffered this way, Karma. There were numerous other methods your mother could have used to "keep you (more) in line" than hitting. It was wrong. I hope you never do resort to hitting your own children. Even if it doesn't hurt the body, terrifying a child with one's hand (or an object) is never, ever right. If a child runs across a street a parent should wonder why she/he was so distracted as to allow it to happen. Grabbing one's child out of the path of an oncoming car is obvious, but hitting him or her after it is ridiculous. Trust me, the kid will be frightened enough. You are only hitting because you are upset with yourself for not being more cautious.

Answer 2

A swat on the butt only in the most extreme cases is okay. But pulling out an object and beating your kid with it every time they do any little thing to piss you off is abuse.

Answer 3

You Mom did not use spanking appropriately--and this is the kind of thing that gives spanking a bad reputation.

I was spanked as a kid. I turned against it in college under the influence of liberal psychology and education professors. In fact from what they said I should be a neurotic mess (I was spanked in the most "dangerous" way--on my bare fanny).

Once I had my own kids I gradually decided that my parents were not so stupid and old fashioned as I had been led to believe. I am now kind of a nutty radical advocate of spanking. I know it sounds stupid and oversimplistic--but I really think that spanking is important.

And I think a lot of younger parents are spanking more. We are just sick and tired of all the spoiled brats and the Nanny 911, etc. nonsenses.

The idea that spanking is ineffective and harmful is a myth. It is something that grew out of the failed no-spanking social experiment starting in the 1950's.

I have actually spent quite a bit of time looking at the spanking research. All the studies finding "it will destroy your child and society" are at best inconclusive and at worst deeply flawed. Yet these are promoted as fact so much by the media and pop psychologists that it is now pretty much taken as fact. Even parents who spank often feel to the need to "only spank as a last resort."

There are actually very good studies that spanking is not only not harmful, but is the best way to get kids to comply with their parent's wishes.

You can see my review of the spanking research and literature at http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

Answer 4

As for discipline, I think that there are times that warrant spanking... I have never spanked someone else's child, but I do spank mine on occasion. It teaches very vividly about consequence of action.
I think quite a few problems with the younger generations could have been prevented by a good swat or two when they were little.

Just an opinion, and I'll stand by it :)

Answer 5

Of course children should be spanked IF they deserve it. I do not condone beating the living daylights out of a child but a gentle reminder when necessary wont do any harm. The do gooders who are against spanking have taught children their rights - what a pity they forget to teach children their responsibilities

Answer 6

As a child I was spanked, but only when I was really being a brat. Now that I have my own kids and they are getting older, I think I did the right thing...I used time out not only for them to sit in, but I would take away the toys they liked and put them in time out, sometimes for days when they got older. I have spanked my own kids, but just a swat on the butt, and very seldom....only when they were testing me so bad that nothing else seemed to work. They are actually good kids now and they don't hit other kids...The teachers actually comment to me on how well behaved and polite and considerate of others, my kids are. I am proud of them. Explaining why they are in "time out" and making them repeat it back to you when it comes time to take them out of it, really helps. It reinforces why they were there and actually speaking the words of what they did wrong, helps them not to forget the time they spend in "time out".. ..I also see parents who take their kids out of time out and proceed to over do the hugs and kisses and tell the kids they are sorry they put them there! BIG MISTAKE. Just take them out and send them on their way, or they will be bad just to get that attention and actually WANT to be in time out. Don't spoil kids with lots of things, either. Too many kids get a new toy every day or week and I don't do that. My kids have birthday and Christmas for getting toys and other than that, very very rarely do I buy them stuff. They would come to expect it. They work to earn their money, by doing little jobs and helping with a market we participate in during the summer. They know the meaning of a dollar and I never have to spank them. I don't even remember the last time I had to use "time out". Probably 3 years ago, and my youngest is turning 6 soon. Treat kids with respect and correct them when they are wrong...and don't spoil them with toys.

Answer 7

I won't spank my daughter when she gets older, she's only 5 months now, she's too precious! I don't care how naughty she is, there are other ways like taking away privileges that will hurt her more than spanking her every few hours. I was spanked as a child and now my first reaction to an adult who gets in my face is to swing on them, man or woman. It's bad.

Answer 8

I guess it's all about the fine line between spanking and whacking. I have no kids (used to be one), but I'd say that at times spanking is useful. Then again, so is standing in the corner. . .

Adult spanking on the other hand, is always welcome!

Answer 9

you're the spouse excellent? And your husband spanks you as punishment? i'm no longer attempting to spew any "feminist" some thing even as telling you that your difficulty isn't only "quaint". i'm sorry, i fairly won't be able to come to a decision how or once you should go back to a decision to take your actual attack out of your husband. also, i assume you're shielding about people judging your difficulty as abusive because others have shared the opinion that it truly is in trouble-free words that. it truly is not any longer referred to as "feminism", it truly is referred to as status up on your civil rights. Rights that were bestowed upon all persons earlier your "quaint" substantial different grow to be born. what's happening is unlawful, it truly is not any longer a remember of opinion. i'm so sorry to hearken to about your difficulty. and that i had no purpose of offending you. I truly have dedicated my existence to holding the welfare of everybody, so interpreting this damage me.

Answer 10

A swat on the butt never hurt anyone. My kids aren't perfect but they act a hell of a lot better than most kids and they got their swats. Timeouts, and "Letting Johnny express himself" is dragging the country down the drain. Nobody took guns to school when we were kids. They were afraid of the consequences. Now they do it weekly. There is no respect for authority because there is no TRUE discipline.