My husband was working nights but decided he wanted to work in the day. He got the job today but it's only £5.35/ hour. To make his money up he wants to work 12 hour shifts everyday. That means that I have to cut my hours down so he can do that. I am on £5.71, so my shifts earn more money anyway. I have to pay the mortgage too. He wants me just to work the weekends, so we would never have a day off together. We have children so this is why our work can't overlap. I have found a job that is more money so he could maybe get a part time job instead of me, but he won't let me do it. It's making me down now. The money I would be having wouldn't even cover the mortgage, let alone if I needed some cash to buy something, such as nappies or baby milk while he was out. He's just determined to show he can provide for us but hasn't really thought about it, he doesn't like me having to work when I have kids. I'm glad I got a man who will work, but it's just not enough for us to live
2007-01-12 04:44:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
or he will be working himself to death doing 60 hours a week. He's only 154 lbs (11 stone) as it is and he never has much energy. He sleeps most of the time while he's in work. I just don't want him to do it, I can't live like that. I could get a job with my sister, she is earning £15,000 a year, why wouldn't he want that kind of money?
2007-01-12 04:44:57 · update #1
God long question, but am I wrong for being fed up of this?
2007-01-12 04:45:29 · update #2
I know what you say about the purcasing needs, but I'm really not the kind to spend heaps of money. I haven't got a catalogue, credit card, nothing in my house is on hp. The point is If I could do the full time job he wouldn't have to work the 60 hours. We would actually get a weekend off together. He never sees our children, I hate it. I think the kids would prefer if we had a weekend to spend with them, instead of us working 7 days a week between us.
2007-01-12 04:55:06 · update #3
I can't get a family member to do that because they all work. My mother works full time because my dad is ill, so in her spare time she looks after him. His mother works full time and his father died. Both our dads worked too hard and that's why mine is ill and his passed away. I don't want to see it happen to him.
2007-01-12 05:11:01 · update #4
My brother now stays at home with his children while his wife works. In the beginning, it was the other way around, but his wife's career improved.
Your husband needs to realize that to provide for one's family, you must forget your pride sometimes and realize situations can change in life. For now you have an opportunity to support the family. Being a stay at home father means he will be in charge of raising the children and keeping the home in order which is much more important than working odd jobs for low wages.
Keep talking to him and reassure him that he is a good husband and father.
Good luck.
2007-01-12 04:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is to sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk tell him that you appreciate his efforts but he would be a better contributor to the family if he would either find a job that pays more ,open a internet based business,work from home ,take a course that will allow him to make more money in the future and by spending more time at home to fulfill his role as a father and husband,and that you dont mind to work as sometimes you need to get out of the house.
2007-01-12 12:50:12 · answer #2 · answered by Alex H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have some of the same issues in our home. and it caused for a while alot of tension.
Get to a therapist who could possibly evaluate the over all situation and help you both come up with a plan that will meet all the household needs.
I found it to be a valuable tool, we both get insight from an outside party that is not finger pointing and who has a clear perspective of the situation.
Well worth the money spent.
good luck
2007-01-12 12:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree to try it his way for a year. If you haven't worked out your finances by then, have a Plan B ready to go.
Personally, I think he is a good man to want you to have the time to spend raising your children!
2007-01-12 12:53:04 · answer #4 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know what? You should read him your question... you stated your case very well. It IS nice that he wants to provide, but there's no need to be foolish about it. Lots of time later to let him feel better.
2007-01-12 12:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.... if i where you i would be very depressed! Thats a lot to deal with.. If u have a house you can get a apartment or you can have a family member watch your kids for free... But you have to talk to your husband about it too.......
2007-01-12 12:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by carve 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well in a marriage there are 2 people involved and seems to me like he is being selfish not taking your feelings into consideration, talk to him about this matter****
2007-01-12 12:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but my personal feeling is now that u have children...that should be your #1 priority...mom...
maybe u need to spend less...quit purchasing wants and stick to the needs...it is EXTREMELY important that u be there for the children while they are young...now if they are teenagers...yes keep the job..otherwise...CHILDREN COME FIRST
2007-01-12 12:49:53 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry,I'm proud of you for working
2007-01-12 12:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by Dawn l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so he wants to work more and never be around you....that's messed up...
ask him what means more. money or marriage.
2007-01-12 12:48:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋