BEEN WITH THE SAME GUY ABOUT 10 YEARS AND WE KINDA JUST DO THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER DAY TO DAY AND I WANT THAT SPARK BACK IT IS HARD BECAUSE WE HAVE 3 KIDS THAT NEED ALL OF OUT ATT. CAN ANYONE HELP!
2007-01-12 04:39:44 · 17 answers · asked by SNL1984 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
role play helps, make some time for yourselfs but just dont go to sleep keep his interest flowing with different games guys love to play games and at the same time make yourself a very happy women dont forget to take care of yourself too just dont please him, please yourself also and have fun****
2007-01-12 04:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. First thing is that you have to make time for your spouse and vice versa. I know you can get caught up in work, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, homework, and on and on. You and your spouse have to realize that if you don't work smoothly as husband and wife the family wont run smoothly so take care of each other then both of you take care of the family. Make time for each other. Don't make your husband be the last item on your list of your daily chores. The thing that got me was all the "let me take care of all these things then i will have some time for you" which was usually about 11pm at night when she could hardly stay awake anymore. Next, plan some little quick getaways for a night. Just an evening with you and him. Also, touch more. When you pass by each other in the house give him a quick kiss and tell him you love him or just a pat on the shoulder, arm, or back if you don't have the time for a kiss. With just a little more attention on each other and those sparks will start to fly again.
2007-01-12 04:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down at the computer one night when the kids are asleep and type out a list of fantasies that youve always had - his and hers, no matter how ridiculous and far fetched. Then go through the list and rate them each and decide which ones are feasible that you would like to try together. Then plan a night away in a hotel, and do your fantasy. Personally my husband and I like to roleplay. He pretends to me a married man away on a business trip and I am a prostitute visiting his hotel room, or sometimes I am a drunk stupid slutty girl who he meets at a party and he is a shy virginal guy that I have to try to seduce. It's fun! Another thing you could do to bring the spark back is to have quickies in different areas of the house, like closets and pantries when kids are outside or not home yet or asleep. Also - don't WAIT for the sparks to come back before you do all this, just make a plan and do it anyways, think of it as a marital duty if you must, and then you will create your own sparks and strengthen your marriage in the process.
2007-01-12 04:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by stripedbook 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you two need definetely a time out! Life goes in a different direction once you have kids and you two need a break. Do the things you used to do when you were boyfriend and girlfriend. One of the best ways to get a spark back is to have sex, that's a way to show each other the love that's still burning inside of you. Anything, it doesn't have to be pricey, it has to come from the heart.
2007-01-12 04:47:52 · answer #4 · answered by Stefy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's time for a date night. If your guy is no good at planning these things, take the initiative. What would you like to do (no kids)? Remember back to the glorious days of dating. What did you like to do together? Get a babysitter, dress up, look gorgeous and go out for a night on the town. Even if you take the kids to Grandma's for the night, rent a movie with real actors and not animated race cars, order a pizza, get a nice bottle of wine and rub each other's feet...spend some time alone together.
Use your imagination, surprise him--bet you surprise yourself, too!
2007-01-12 04:47:15 · answer #5 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it takes both of you seriously. firts on a day when the kids are at school (if they don't go to school get a family member or hire a babysitter) or anytime when you two have some a lone time but some candle and massage oil and treat him to a day with you. give him a whole body massage even if you dont know how. make it a surprise and cook him sonmething for afterward. wear something sexy. you kno better than i do about what he likes, so give him a day without any arguments even if you do get mad at him. get some sexy lingerie and plan a whole day devoted to him. when your done, you two can discuss a change in that department where you two both decide to be a little more spotaneous.
2007-01-12 05:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by new_sweetness08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get someone to watch the kids for seven days and go on a cruise! That $hit is fun only take a five day though the others are whine down days, making love on different islands brings a certain newness to the sex. Fun +sex+no kids that sounds like a good as$ idea to me. And you don't even have to pay all up front if you can't, contact ROYAL CARRIBIAN and check out there deals. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-12 04:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by Great one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not easy, but you must make time to date each other again. Think about how the two of you met. That's right! Spontaneity, and surprises of gifts, flowers, cards, going out of the way to show love and appreciation. We can fall in love as many times as we make it possible, in order to cook I must know what I want.
Most socialogists say that the honeymoon is over withing 2 years. But I say, it doesnot have to be that way.
We being the lazy creatures that we are, follow the least path of resistance, we soon fall into a rut of day in day out routines. But,
It takes only one person in a relationship to rekindle the sparks. You cannot force anything on anyone, if there is resistance, yet all that you or I have are the powers over ourselves.
So, if we do things selflessly, and we reach for the higher goals we set, and we keep showing and sparking interest and if we keep ourselves out of the ruts of routine, that, we make our lives to be, then we can have that "Falling in love" feeling and reality become real again, over and over again. I admire you for being the one to realize that you want it back. I say don't let routines, chores, kids or anything else keep you from revisiting some old and resourceful recipes for romance.
The kids, well, hire a baby sitter. Get a friend, or two involved with swapping nites, or weekends of tending for each other's children.
Just make the time! After the kids are asleep, find even just twenty minutes of alone time...outta the sack first! (Tongue in cheek.)
Little notes left in places to be found. Shower with true appreciation. Expressions of love verbally and playfully. Tease each other sexually thoughout the day. Think about what it was that first attracted you to the other, and re-invent that experience.
When I cook, and I am good at it, the women that I have dated find it sexy for a man to cook. I seduce by setting an atmosphere. I am aware of this, so I do take full advantage of it. Ambiance, flirtatiousness, playfulness, switching gears and heart to heart talks. I dream, I share those dreams, I read her, I let her know that I desire her company, and I let her know how I feel. I don't set up false ambiance or false pretenses, I speak my mind, I talk about my wants and wishes and hopes and dreams. I don't take advantage nor say anything just to be a lover, I, merely, ENJOY AND I LET THEM KNOW ...Hey, I enjoy you!
If I want to make a delicious lasagna, and toast some bruchetta and sip some wine, then I make lasagna, and toast the bruchetta....! Get me?
I like to keep to my recipes, in order to have the same taste and outcome of food. I must do same and repeat the outcome. The same is true in a relationship. Stick to the basics, but remember....there are lots and lots of recipes and lots of fresh ingredients out there for the palate.
Try it and I guarantee, yummy!
2007-01-12 05:12:07 · answer #8 · answered by etienne primeau 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with having regular date nights (once a week or month). When you go on the date nights take about each other and try to keep it away from the "to do" list. Call in your favors and the grandparents to watch the kids. It is easy to lose romance with the day to day responsibilities and kids.
Good luck.
2007-01-12 04:45:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try having a date night with just you and your partner. Get a sitter and go out for a romantic dinner and dancing, a movie, a play, or whatever you enjoy most. Another idea is to have the children spend the night with grandparents while you and your partner rent a hotel room for the night - with a room service dinner and a night alone.
2007-01-12 04:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by Country girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 26 yrs of marriage i am not sure it can be. All you have to do is try. romantic getaways , candle light dinners, etc If it can come back it will, but only if you try. guys are mostly interested in sex after a number of yrs married in general, so you may want to use that in your approach . Use your imagination and the both of you must communicate and want the same thing. good luck and if you can, let me know how it goes.
2007-01-12 05:10:41 · answer #11 · answered by paws 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋