is it proper for a husband to purchase a high priced item without his wife knowing?

Answer 1

It's generally not very respectful. Marriage is a partnership, and one partner should not make large, unilateral financial decisions without including the other partner.

Answer 2

it depends on what the individuals involved have decided.

As a general rule, it's not proper or right to do this. Marriage is different from a boy/girlfriend situation; people living together

This is the problem that we face today with singletons marrying late and with individualistic thinking where people feel free to choose when to give how much or if at all during marriage.

I have an answer to this, but first let me look at the problem:

this would mainly affect someone used to their general independance and financial autonomy who doesn't want to be alone or who falls in love and yet is unwilling to recognise the inherent responsibility and dependance that marriage embodies.

That's how you get issues like this, where before it was natural for people to discuss where they were headed in life and how they will spend their lives (which undeniably means how they'll spend their money and their time together, but life nowadays is complicated.

There is an answer to this: communication and co-operation.

Otherwise everything falls apart. Doing something like that calls yoru partner's trust, and your own reliability into question. It builds very unncessary insecurities especially if the buying party knows that the partner wouldn't appreciate the buyer's decision.

One way to deal with this is to make sure that all debts and living costs are talied up and then split down the middle every month.
This will work for people who earn roughly the same amount which is far from everyone.

Bills still need to be paid so given that they have been sorted through whatever standing arrangement there is, then people should discuss what the surplus should go towards.

Or everyone lives separately and money's not discussed/ or one person pays bills another pays the mortgage and everything else, no questions asked.

The best arrangement is for both parties to sit & discuss everything logically with appropriate room for compromise and reevaluation. Most people are not that reasonable when it comes to money.

Anyway you look at it, whether each partner agreed that thsi should happen or not, for a married man to purchase a high priced itemwithout hsi wife knowing is selfish and against the point of what marriage is for. Even the state recognises that marriage is a union that involves financial dependance and flouting this responsibility goes against the faith, trust and loyalty that's supposed to bond two people into a marriage.

Answer 3

It is best if couples agree in advance what constitutes a major purchase, and how much they will spend on any item without discussing it first. The amount of course depends on the couple's budget. But, as an example, if they have agreed to discuss any purchase over $500, then that's what they should do.
If there is no agreement in effect:
If you are the husband and have already made the purchase, come clean and discuss it reasonably.
If you are the wife and hubby made a purchase, discuss reasonable guidelines to prevent a future occurrence.
If you are a husband considering a major purchase, if it has to be a secret (and it's not a gift for her) then you probably already know it's going to cause trouble - don't do it.

Answer 4

I think it depends on the item...if it's a gift for you or the kids or something for the house...not necessarily...if it's for him and it's really not necessary then I would say no way is it okay. I would be very angry at my husband if he did that. Of course if you've done it a lot in the past (bought high priced items) then maybe it would be okay for him to do so. I really think a couple should talk things over before a lot of money is spent on something. Even if I bought something for the kids or the house I would probably discuss it with him first. I have bought some things in the past that he wasn't very happy about because I didn't ask but now I know better. It really depends on what the item is and how much it cost etc. I think husbands /wives should consult each other on that kind of thing.

Answer 5

It is not responsible for either he, nor she to buy high priced items without due consent and counsel with each other. It is, merely, a matter of utmost respect.

However, that is negated by the fact of, if the high priced gift was presented as such to the other. Then I am certain that there are no qualms coming from the interested and benefitted party.

But, in general I would say no. There is no reasons to go behind the wife or husbands back to purchase things that are costly without the mate's knowledge.

Answer 6

That depends on alot of things. What the item was and who it was for, and what your finiancial situation is. If it was a gift for you then its not wrong at all and you should be flattered. If it was for someone else you should be very very very very angry. If it was for himself or a family type item like a car or boat then you need to look at your finiancial situation. Neither one of you should purchase an item that would put a strain on your finiances without the others consent. If it was a strainful item and it was for him then you need to talk to him and let him know your unhappy and that purchases like that need to be talked about before its acted on. Now if you have the money for the item then its not as bad because as your finiancial situation improves and grows so does the prices of your toys. So a well off family buying a 30,000 dollar boat wouldn't be much different that a not so well off man spending 300 dollars on a fishing raft. Just analyze the situation for what it is taking into consideration all of the above then make your decision on how wrong you think is really is or was it just a simple oversight on his part.

Answer 7

Well, I guess it is okay. Women have a tendency to buy things that they don't let their husband know about. Although, in my case it's usually small things and the price adds up over time. I am not sure what kind of item we are talking about here, but my opinion is you can't hide it forever. I buy things that my husband will ask me "where did you get that" after I have had it for several months and I say "oh, my mom got it or it was on clearance". Works everytime.

I think it is ok as long as it is not going to put you into bankruptcy or make you not be able to pay your electric and other necessities that month. The other reason could be if he is buying for another woman and that is way wrong!!!

Answer 8

On my birthday my husband bought a diamond ring that cost 1k. I found the receipt and told him he could take it back right away.
That was two or three weeks ago. Today, I am glad that I told him to take it back, I am glad I found that receipt, because had he gone through with that purchase, there would be no money in the bank.

I don't think it is OK for me to sport a huge rock, but not have money in the bank. I hate the thought. I'm not too crazy about the diamond studs he got either, I would prefer a pair of gold hoops, but I didn't say anything. It's the thought that counts.

Diamonds are not my best friend. Cash is.

Answer 9

Depends on the situation. My husband purchases high-priced items all the time - home theatre and computers are his hobby, and this stuff is mighty expensive; most of the time, I don't even know how much it costs, and don't really want to know (I think, the new video projector he just bought was like several grand). But hey... he works his a** off to make the money; he pays all the bills, including the mortgage; he's as financially responsible as they get. I trust his judgement completely when it comes to purchases, he doesn't need to run everything by me; if he buys it, means we can afford it. End of story.

Answer 10

Never. Any major purchases should be discussed. A marriage is a partnership. Business partners, who are successful never purchase large ticket items unless consulting their partner. A successful marriage is built on trsut, communication and respect. She has violated all of the principals of the foundation. The two most common things married couples fight over are finances and sex. If you have these in order, they are but a small portion of the marriage. However, if there is no sex or no monay or disputes about them ...then they become very big in the marriage. I have worked with many married couples and seen this problem over and over.
Now that this has occurred, try to focus on the underlying problem and not the purchase. The underlying problem is that she felt she needed to hidethis purchase or that she deserved to get this...without your approval. Most commonly, either she sees you as a tyrant and so she sneaks to get things. Or she feels a sense of power and sense of entitlement. Try not to point the finger at her or yourself. Rather try to identify the problem and work through the issue to build a stronger marriage and partnership. If this is handled improperly it could blow up in your face...I am sure your marriage is worth more than that. Talk together when both are calm & relaxed. No distractions. Be honest and open. Explain how it makes you feel. Bond in love and commit to agreed ways to handle things...a compromise that you can both live with. It is great that you are addressing this before it gets out of hand. Great marriages take work.

Answer 11

I think that important thing such as money is a very sentitive issue between a married couple. My husband and I sometimes disagree because of money. He thinks that I should have not brought the new curtains for the living room and I think that he should not have went to the race track last week. But in the end you get over it and move on.

Now as far as a big item, I would like to think that my husband would discuss it with me before buying it ( unless it is a diamond ring!!!) But seriously, marriage is a commintment and you will have to compromise on a lot of things. So I am saying that yes I do think that you need to discuss it before buying anything that cost alot of money. My curtains cost 30.00 not a big deal. But a item over 100.00 yes needs to be talked over. It is your money too that he is spending. I hope this has helped.