Last summer I met this great guy and we hit it off. I'm a junior in college and I have my own apartment. He stayed with me for a while and we got pretty close, but he left to go overseas in August and I thought he'd never come back. My younger brother graduated last year and a friend he graduated with needed a place to stay last semester because one of his scholarships fell through and I let him stay with me because my brother asked. Here is the problem: My brother's friend and I got pretty close. My parents know I'm gay, but didn't want me to bring my lifestyle home because they didn't want me to influence my brother who turned 18 last year. One night half way into the semester I kind of got depressed and was drinking. My brother's friend started drinking too to try to make me feel better and to make a long story short, we slept together. We continued to sleep together until right after finals, but when I offered to bring him home for Christmas break, he said he wasn't ready
2007-01-12 04:28:50 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
for his family to know he was gay and especially not brother since I told him that my brother didn't know I was gay. Christmas break was very awkward to say the least, especially since my brother invited him over for dinner. After dinner I walked in my brother's room to tell him about the secret and him and his friend were kissing. So much for my secret. When he found out we had been sleeping together we had a big fight and I ended up leaving and going back to my apartment. A few days before school started the guy I met last summer calls and says he is going to be moving back to town and wants to hook up. He will be here tonight, but the main problem is that my brother's friend called to say he wants to get back together because him and my brother slept together after I left and it wasn't the same. I have these two guys who want to be with me and I love them both. Who do I choose, the young stud or the mature stallion?
2007-01-12 04:34:56 · update #1
Very interesting. First I admire your honesty about your problem. Unique, nope! Common, yup!
Okay, let me try this. You and your brother's friend found each other's comfort over your depression. You developed something which helped you both. Satisfying your needs and his, you grew comfortable with the situation. As for your brother, unless you knew this guy was involved with your brother, you can't be held at fault here. For your brother to explode in your face, only shows his lack of maturity to handle a simple situation.
Now this other guy, returning to your life. Granted he may want to 'hook-up' but is this really what you need? Isn't your life a little more complicated that this?
Here's how I would handle this. I'm not in anyway telling you how you should deal with it, but listen to how I would.
Your brother's twink? It's sad that you got stuck in the middle. Truly it is. What was supposed to be a favour turned out to have fringe benefits until the truth came out.
But honestly ? Ask yourself this? If this guy was supposed to be exclusive to your brother, and turned you into his bed-mate as well, causing all this extra drama and grief, do you really want to be involved with this guy? Can you seriously trust this guy to be exclusive to you? Do you care, or is this guy just a 'f u c k - - b u d d y' ?
Dude, keep your options totally open. Don't close the door to anything yet. This other guy (the original dude returning) see what his motives are? Did he leave you to go seek someone else? Are you just a convenience to him when he's ' in town ' ?
Confusing of course it is, but being honest with yourself about others and how they treat you will help you find the answers you seek.
I wish you luck
bga
2007-01-12 11:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by bga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Too bad you didn't open up to your brother before this. And this sounds like a good time for you and your brother to confront your parents (anyone notice that little brother was gay without needing to be "influenced"?).
It's tempting to say something about a foursome, but you four guys need to get your feelings for each other out in the open, I think. Is it really necessary to commit to anyone? Why are you all so hung up on committed relationships with guys you only just met? Maybe the two other guys will hit it off even if only as friends. More sharing, fewer secrets.
2007-01-12 05:00:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why your parents feel the way they do. You have to respect that it might be uncomfortable for them or maybe they just cant deal with it. As for your brother's friend, it's sounds like he's not ready to face your brother about this and not ready to come out. No big deal. Give him time. As long as the two of you are happy being with each other, that's all that should matter right now. You guys are both young and still have a lot of growing to do. No sense in rushing everything right now. Your friend just seems to be in an awkward situation at the time and just do what you can and be there to help him get through it. He will appreciate you and respect you more for that instead of persuading him to do something he is not ready for.
2007-01-12 04:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to pick one of the two I would pick the one who didn’t fool around with your brother. If you do form a long lasting relationship with the guy there could be major issues in your relationship with you and your brother. And the brother relationship is one you really need to try to maintain.
2007-01-12 05:09:17 · answer #4 · answered by Hermit IX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother's friend seems a bit indecisive, one minute he wants to be with you, the next minute he wants to be with your brother and the next he wants to be with you again. Who knows what decisions he will want to make in a week or a month.
If I were you I would go with the first guy but no matter who you choose I wish you the best of luck! :-)
2007-01-12 04:44:49 · answer #5 · answered by honeyleelove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF your sotry is true, I have a comment and an answer.
Comment: Totally hot story. I'd love to be a fly on the wall -- ANY wall -- of your apartment.
Answer: The solution to your problem consists of 2 words: Three Way.
2007-01-12 05:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by cardinalboy97 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems such as you would be able to desire to have harm him you won't be able to tell a guy which you liked him for an prolonged time and then say not anymore. It feels like he actual likes you plenty so perhaps you will desire to tell him the certainty this time and ask him the place issues would desire to bypass
2016-10-19 21:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez, this story sounds a little to much like the gay version of Knots Landing. I am not buying it.
2007-01-12 04:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by Yikes! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SO in the circle of life you have in fact slept with your brother!
2007-01-12 05:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure what you ? is but if you truly have feelings for him thats great but dont puch him to meet your family he is not ready take your time he will come around
2007-01-12 04:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by 1401 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋