My husband turned into a tranny but I still love him. What to do?

Question

I'm married for 13 years and recently my husband decided to change his body and turn himself into a "woman". He claims to love me still and he wants us to keep together. I love him more than ever but I feel kinda confused about this situation. Besides it's very hard to stand the way people look at him in the streets. It feels like and walking with a monster or something. It makes me very ashamed. He's put "teats" already and he's intending to go through a sexchange surgery in Mexico next year.
Even though all the changes he's making in his body he's still the same in all the other ways and he insists that he's not gay and he doesn't want to leave me. Should I believe him?

PS: He's unenployed and it's me who's paying for all his changes and he wants me to pay for his sexchange surgery too.

Answer 1

for better or worse.

that would be an irreconcilable difference.

go find a real man to love.

Answer 2

Mmmm, the fact that you are asking us lot if you should believe him, means you have some doubts. Do you really want to stay with the MAN that you married change into a woman? If you feel ashamed, then I would personally (and this is only my opinion) end the marriage. That doesnt mean that you have to stop being his/her friend and still be there when he/she needs you. But if he/she really loved you they would let you go and be free and to find someone else who isnt going to change their body. Why would he being changing his body if he wasnt gay? How do you know that 2 years down the road hes going to fall in love with someone else (as he will be a "woman")?
I wouldnt pay for his surgeries either. If he wants to go to Mexico and get the stuff done he should pay for it all himself. Thats so unfair to expect you to foot the bill. Maybe thats why hes promising not to leave you.
Be strong and put yourself first. End your marriage and tell him to pay for his own ops, and that means hes going to have to get a job. If he really wants the sex change op, he will get off his lazy **** and work.
Good luck!

Answer 3

I would leave him. Why would you want to be married to a "woman"? Especially an unemployed person who is using you for money to pay for surgeries? I think you are in love with the man you married and not with what has become of the person you are with now. You should have a one on one talk with him and tell him how you feel when you are with him in public. I can tell it's frustrating by what you have written above. Next thing you know you will be fighting over clothes! What will your children or grandchildren say about their daddy or grandpa? How will you explain this to them (if you have any youngsters).

Answer 4

Well, i would say that if you still love him, then you should stick by him in this, especially if he has told you that he still loves you and doesnt want to leave you.

But i'm a bit concerned by the feelings of shame that you get when with him. that leads me to believe that there are other things going on. as much as you love him...maybe deep down you are unwilling to go through with this, and be by his side. if that is the case, i suggest that you express this to him. i'm sure that you telling him that you dont want it to happen will not change his mind, and he will surely go through with it anyway. but if you cant see yourself living with him after the surgery, and since you will be paying for the surgery, i suggest you cut and run now, sooner than later.

Also maybe you and he could go to counseling together. i hear that people who want to have a sex change operation have to have some level of counseling anyway, to determine if what they are doing is really what they want. if that is not the case with you then perhaps you both can find a couselor that you are comfortable with and hash this out and let the counselor get to the bottom of your feelings.

Good luck!! X

Answer 5

Oh come on... you can't be serious about this. Sure you should believe him... he's got a good thing going because you're paying the tab. You should be asking more important questions though, like: Do you want to be married to a half man/half woman? Do you want to spend your hard-earned money for something you don't want, and that makes you feel "ashamed"?? Please tell him that you accept his choice and will remain friends, wish him the best... but don't try to maintain the relationship. And you certainly should NOT be paying for it!

Answer 6

You cant be serious, right? Please say you're not. If he/she really loved you he wouldn't be putting you through this. What is there to love about him/her? What are you getting out of all this? Nothing. He/she doesn't provide for you and wants for you to pay for the surgery, this unemployed person, so that when it's done he/she can dump you and you'll have even less than you have now which is nothing! LEAVE! Run fast and don't look back. Start a new life for yourself, Please!

Answer 7

I know you love him...
But you deserve a life with someone that loves you too. That's fine if he wasts to change his life like that, but he should be the one paying for it. It should not be at your expense, for you did not choose this. Ask him, if you wanted a operation that made you into a man, if he would still stay with you. I know you said for better or for worse, but there ARE stipulations on that. You married a MAN and you deserve a HUSBAND. I say if he made that decision, you can still be friends with him, but you need to move on with your life. That will be an unhealthy relationship. And if he changed his sex to a female...doesn't that mean that he would want sexual contact with a male eventually, if not already?

Answer 8

well,I have to say unfortunately this isn't the first time I have heard of this situation.Now, I little known fact..All men regardless if they are "transitioning" Have a sex drive and will,so If he is willing to get rid of his organ for one of the opposite sex than Its more than likely he is gay or at least Bi and probably has a guy that he sees that you don't know about.He is more than likely keeping you around so you can pay for it all and when its all done he will hit the road and leave you.
Ask yourself this,Can you spend your life making love to a women that used to be a man?Do you even have sexual desires for women? If you said no to both of them than your in a situation that is only going to bring you pain and suffering in your future.Tell him no! to the surgery and if he gets hateful and doesn't get off of it,then you know hes only using you and that you need to let him go.
So, sorry you are dealing with this.

Answer 9

Oh my gosh ~ where to start?

The question is what do YOU want?

Do you want to be married to "a woman"?

Why SHOULDN'T your husband want you to stay with him? You are the one who pays his bills, and you are the one who is financing his surgery. After the surgery is complete (and fully paid) and he is living life as a woman, he will most likely want to experience ALL that life as a woman has to offer ~ including relationships with men.

You are being used, sweet woman, and you need to open your eyes.

Answer 10

First thing first, there is this thing called transgender syndrome it when your porn you were suposed to me boy or girl, but in side the womb it can change the sex. If you were suposed to be a woman you come out as a man and so on. Second thing is tell him if he loves you to go out and find a job or get out. Your husband is muching of you. just start thinking about how you feel on this.

Answer 11

This is unacceptable behavior for him. It's his body to do what he wants. But as a maaried man he has to consider how you feel and clearly he hasn't.

If you can stand it stay with him because he probably does love you. But you married a man when this is done you'll be married to someone who is for all intents and purposes a woman.

Luck