Help with my confused teenage life?

Question

I turned 13 and i am sort of stuck. I dont know anything about Girls, School Dances, First Kisses. I do really well at school but its boring me to death and I have exams In two weeks. There are these boys in class that call me gay just because I dont talk to girls a lot (Its an Out of place situation since I go to an all-boys school). I dont have an older brother to confide in and believe me when I say I am far to embarrased to go to my own Dad. I am asking this here cause I know their is somebody ot there that can help me with all my problems. Please!!

Answer 1

The teenage years are referred to as the akward years. Everybody makes it through them.

Know this...the people that usually have the hardest time fitting in in junior high school and high school, usually end up being the most well adjusted after college.

Make sure you take care of hygeine issues...take showers daily, brush your teeth at least twice a day...and use deoderant.

Girls? What are your interests? Find clubs or organizations that are specific to your interests. If there are girls in the clubs, try to get to know them. Just be friends. You start to learn how the female mind thinks. If you get a good female friend, you can bounce ideas off of her and get her thoughts and perspectives. Maybe she can introduce you to her friends.

Nobody knows anything about dances at that age. In short, ask a girl to dance, put your arm around her back and hold her other hand. Kinda rock back and forth slowly while you listen to the slow music and talk to her.

I used to DJ college dances and it was hell trying to get freshmen to dance.

Take chances. Even if you are rejected, you need to learn to take chances. You are never going to score unless you shoot the ball.

Answer 2

Those boys teasing you are just trying to take the attention away from their own insecurities and fears. You are 13, please don't feel rushed into a relationship or even just sex. That is big mistake! Enjoy doing the things you like to do right now. The whole relationship thing and sex will happen when nature says ok, it's time. Don't be afraid to talk to your dad. He's been there and he knows how tough it is. Let me tell you this, girls your age are learning allthe "girl games" and they can be pretty mean. You may find the token nice one, but beware, they are testing the waters too. It is much better to wait till later on to get serious with anyone anyway. And sex...well, run the opposite way until you are much older. Sex does not make a relationship but rather the relationship will make the sex. Take your time, things will fall into place. The next time they call you gay, just look them in the eyes and tell them that you are happy(original meaning!) and that is because you aren't tied down with a girl yet. Other than that, just ignore them or change the subject entirely. Take care!

Answer 3

Step by step: You're overwhelmed by the ultimate goal, which is to have a "better" life. Break it down.

1. "I want to relate better with girls."
If this is what you really want, then make this a goal. This, too, can be broken down into smaller steps.

a. Build your knowledge base --- so you have stuff to talk about. Read lots about lots of things, like music, current events, technology, politics, philosophy (for those oh-so-sensitive deep thoughts), etc.

b. Practice in low pressure situations. For example, if you have a job (if you don't, maybe you should get one), you can talk to a female co-worker without thinking about whether she likes you or thinks you're attractive. Just focus on the conversations. Your goal is to learn how to speak freely and easily, and how to maintain a conversation and direct or follow the topics. By the way, a job will give you more to talk about: your lousy paycheck, how a business is run, what you want to go into for a career, and so on.

2. "I want to go to a school dance."

The breakdown here would include the following: choosing a date, asking her, then the whole preparation for the evening and the evening itself, which are way down the line. The important thing is getting comfortable.

Choose someone you'll be comfortable with and who will be comfortable with you. Do you have an old friend from an earlier grade? You could go as friends. This will add to your experience in interpersonal relationships, even if you remain "just friends". Remember, you're allowed to lower the pressure according to your needs or tolerance. Don't go for "all", all at once. This is true in all aspects of your life (but sometimes we should have ambitions in order to progress and to grow).

Further advice.
1. Ignore what the other boys say. This advice is for people of all ages. We worry too much about what others think, and it gets in the way of our own thinking. We end up "betraying ourselves" because we ignore "who we are" and act in such a way that we end up far from our true selves. This is a **very painful situation** and is the basis for the mid-life crisis. It has hit people earlier, as well, known as the quarter-life crisis (occurring in the 20's).

2. Take a risk and open up to your father. Embarrassment is an emotion, one that is getting in the way of a full relationship with the closest male role-model you have. The "risk" is worth it. If you open up and the relationship flourishes, you have reason for great joy. You'll be able to ask almost any question and tap into his life experience. If it doesn't help to open up to your dad, at least you tried, and now you know whether he'll have a big role in this part of you life. (And if this happens, don't be mad or hateful. Things can get better later. Everything in its own time.)

Just know this: all our troubles are temporary. Do what you can (read, learn, talk to people, get philosophical in a positive way, exercise, investigate, etc.), and ignore the things that you can't do anything about. No matter what your problem, there's always a good way to deal with it. Usually the solution is "through the fire" rather than stepping backwards or not taking any steps at all.

The world doesn't hate you and it isn't laughing at you. At worst, it doesn't care. But this isn't a bad thing. It means that you are free to live life in the way the YOU SEE FIT. Be a good person, don't break the law, enjoy the little things, and everything will be fine.

Good luck

Answer 4

Trust me, we were all confused at 13. You're making the transition from child to young adult and there will struggles along the way, but it DOES get better.

I know how hard it can be to made fun of -- been there. More than likely the name callers are just as confused and insecure as you are. They are acting out to cover that up.

Stay in school and don't give up. It is your key to success in life.

Don't worry about girls, you're still too young for dating and when you're older it will all fall into place. The girls your age don't know what they're doing either.

Give your dad a chance. He was once a 13-year-old boy too! I think you will be surprised at his reaction and he will probably make you feel a lot better.

These are not problems, just a normal part of growing up. You will get through it.

Answer 5

okay dearest .. about the guys in your classes ... guys will be that way girls are just as bad ... you dont have a bf you are lesbo ... you have too many bf's your a slut ... loose loose situation.

do you have any female friends or friends w/ sisters? school dances are ovr rated anyway .. the b4 parties and after parties are what you wanna go to ... girls are easy to get ... we like shiny stuff and the occasional compliment is good too ... just find a girl you like and show interest in her ... do some of the things she likes .... first kisses usually suck .. not much too look foreward to .. the second and third are the best .. first kisses should be totally unexpected and sweet ... like watching a movie and just look @ each other and plant 1 on her ... hope some of this helps ...
if it dont send me an e-mail or hit me up on myspace =)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Emily

Answer 6

That just is a common situation lived from a lot of teenagers!
Probably if you have had a brother then neither you would have talked with him. Usually such problems aren't shared with parents or relatives but with some close friend only, sometimes. Now, the only thing I feel to tell you here, is to be free about your life, living it as you are, being talkative or not, talking more or less or being gay or hetero it just is your life and you have to demonstrate nothing to anybody. I would like to help you more, but you realize that it's not possible to talk about anything on this space and now .

Answer 7

don't worry the boys that are making fun of you are just as nervous and scared. the fact is is you are in an all boy school so where are they meeting all the girls? the best thing to do is try hanging out at a skating rink the mall even an indoor pool when its cold out and there will be girls. as for not sure what to do well take your time. talk to the girl and after awhile try to hold her hand if your feeling the vibe. its really all about what feels right. and try not to be so embarrassed about talking to your dad he went through what your going through and he will be the most helpful when it comes to what you should expect. hope this helps!

Answer 8

Ugh. It's like every kid here goes to a private or all-one-gender school. Not that that's a bad thing. =P Okay, well...

About girls:
Well, you probably know at least ONE. If there's one you like, get to know her. Be nice to them, and they'll like you. I know everyone says this, but "be yourself". If you're smart, be smart, if you're funny, be funny. Don't try to do something you can't just to impress some girl. Compliment them, but sincerely and don't just go for looks. I'm trying not to stereotype and everything, but the ones who cake on the make-up are usually the ones who you break up with within two days. Someone worth keeping will see something nice in you that you can't see yourself. Always be polite to them. If you're with a girl and you're walking up a flight of stairs, walk behind her. If you're walking down, walk first, so she'll have something to grab onto when she falls. On the street, walk on the outside and let her walk next to the buildings. Don't stare at their chest if possible.

School dances:
Go and have fun! Who cares if you don't have a date - it's not like it's mandatory. But if there's a special girl you want to ask, then ask - and if you get rejected? So? Everyone gets rejected once in a while, it's normal. You're not perfect - actually no one is - and look: at least this way, you'll know how she feels about you. If a girl asks you to dance, always say yes. Even if she is the hunchback of Notre Dame. It's only nice. And you're not obligated to dance with her ever again. If a slow song comes on and you're lacking a partner, treat it as a break and go get a drink. Don't stand around looking sad - that's wallflower like. If a you do get a partner, put your hands on their waist, and she should have her hands on your shoulders. If you can ballroom (waltz, etc.) do that - she'll find it cute/amusing. Dress comfortably - jeans, t-shirt, shoes - and take less than $10 for food and drink - too much and you might lose it.

First kisses:
Uh....keep your mouth closed. And try not to breathe INTO her mouth. Because that's disgusting. Keep it neat - no one wants to kiss a mucusy/drooling thing. Tilt your head and uh..open eyes are scary. If you miss - well, then. I guess you're just going to have to try again, huh.

Being called gay:
Smile, and wrap an arm around them. Or wink. Don't take it seriously. Or you could always fight back and say "What? You interested?" if you want. But I think it'd be easier to just forget it. As long as their not really harming you, you're all right.

Keep up with your school work, even if it's boring. One day you'll feel happy about doing well. Brush your teeth, wash your face, stay clean. If you're going to use body spray (ex. Axe, Old Spice, etc. ) don't go and soak yourself in it, because that's obviously disgusting. Dress however you want, and don't just follow a trend, unless you really, honestly like it. If you have long hair, wash it every other day, unless you have oily/greasy hair. Brush or comb it in the morning to you don't look like a walking tumbleweed. Usually, girls don't like grease. And uh....go meet some girls. Go hang out with some friends who hang out with girls, but don't become a user. Maybe some girl will broken telephone about you to some other chick, and maybe you'll end up with a girlfriend.

Okay. Yeah. This is really long, and uh...yeah...I don't really want to type anymore.

Answer 9

You think you are the only kid who feels that way, but believe me, you aren't. Most boys go through what you are going through. You need to get more involved in activities: sports, clubs, religious groups, etc. Do you have an uncle or an older cousin you can talk to? Your school counselor can help you, too.

Find a nice intelligent girl to be friends with. Don't look for beauty. Look for kindness and understanding. You will be fine.

Answer 10

I can just imagine what you are going through.......
Age 13 is when all our hormones seem to work against each other. It is normal, and nature does this to ALL of us, it likes to turture us. All in all you sound pretty normal. Advise on girls from your friends is not reliable at all. They are also going through the same things in their heads. They call you names because of their own insecurities and lack of knowledge. Just remember, if you want to talk to a girl, be her friend first and don't think beyond that until she brings it up to you. Besides age 13 is too young to even think of girls in any other way than just as a good friend. Do not rush yourself.