I'm only 24 and have been with my husband for almost 8 years, married for 2 of those. I don't want to have sex anymore! Everything else is wonderful. I just don't have that "passion" for him anymore. He still does for me though, which makes it tough. Any advice?
2007-01-12 03:56:54 · 40 answers · asked by Ronnie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try new things, make things a little more interesting maybe try having sex somewhere other than the bed room, spice things up a bit. Try roleplaying or toys too if you have to.
2007-01-12 04:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Look,Lets be honest here.What kind of loving good marriage would you have if you never had sexual relations with him at all again?? You wouldn't! SO, Don't you think its smarter to go see a specialist about possible reasons why you no longer have a sex drive?Maybe after getting some help this will be all different and you can enjoy sex with your man again which will alleviate tensions and make you both much closer.
Now, If your problem is that you have a sexual desire but just not for him then your living a lie and being selfish and should let the man go and find someone who will love and desire him.You maybe should spend a "little" time Thinking this over in your head and decide what the real truth is here and then do what you should to fix this or get out of it all together.
Ask yourself this,How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot??
That's what I thought!
Figure yourself out girl and make a choice.
2007-01-12 04:05:49 · answer #2 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to separate two elements here, sex and your husband.
1) Does the idea of sex still attract you? Its hard to find
nowadays - most of it is so violent - but if you could
watch some softcore porn, do you think that
would excite you? Would you get hot at two
people gently and sensuously setting their bodies
on fire until they both just drip and explode with orgasms?
If sex itself does not "turn you on anymore", then there is
something phsiologically wrong with you - either
hormones or depression. You need to talk to your doctor.
2) Your husband. Sadly, there are many awkward lovers
out there. If you still find sex itself pleasant, then you simply
might be no longer "turned on" by your husband's approach.
This is a very dangerous and sensitive subject to discuss
with a man. I would recommend going to see a therapist.
Tell the therapist that you want to talk to your husband
about sex but want to do it in a "safe" environment.
Do NOT talk about how you feel about sex alone -
this will threaten your husband. Make an appointment,
the two of you go together, and then say you love him,
but you want to improve your sex life because you are
currently not interested in it. This is very close to cutting
a guy's c*ock right off - so be sure to say many times
that you love him and that you simply want to make things
better like they were when you first met.
Good luck.
2007-01-12 04:27:00 · answer #3 · answered by robabard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you ill? You should have some blood work done and make sure you don't have anything medical going on, sometimes there are health issues that can cause a lack of libido.
Do you have emotional issues going on this also can cause lack of libido.
How about kids they make you too tired to enjoy some days.
You say everything else is great perhaps you need to rekindle the romance. I know that sometimes after being together for so long the excitement and intensity wears off. If you love your marriage you need to find a way to rekindle your passion as sex is an intergral part of marriage and if you are not enjoying it or do not want to share it the rift you make will get larger and larger until one cheats or walks away.
Good luck to you...You are sooo young to already have lost your passion. Go to the Dr. and tell them what is going on they will know what to look for (maybe your thyroid)
2007-01-12 04:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by tammy c 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello, question: you dont have that "passion" for him or for sex? If its for sex then seek help, medical and professional counseling. There arelots of libido enhancing meds. out there Ive seen the commercials. But if its Him that you dont have the "passion" for anymore then seek marriege counseling; together, dont leave him out there is nothing worse than finding out that your lover dosnt want to make love with you anymore He will need counseling after that blow.
Also.....all those wonderful things about him that you do still like, will soon fade away if you dont keep the love alive with passion. This is just the first step towards your break up/divorce. do nothing and you will see it happen to you.
your mind may be made up already. Do nothing or seek help from the advice that you get here today..>>>good luck jen
2007-01-12 04:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by camero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok seems like you have some personal problem. He is doing it for you but apparently something is wrong. What is wrong - is what you need to ask yourself?! And once you did ask yourself you can move to a next step by talking to him about it. I know it will be hard and he may be upset and feel insecure after that conversation but it will improve something. But then again on other hand you only 24 and you been with him since you was 16. WOW! You havent been out there at all. Have you ever been with another man? Dont you think there might be someone better for you. I am afraid working out your issue might not work and may as well just lay off talking to him about whats been bothering you because you kind of reminded me of my sis situation. She and her husband havent been with too many ppl. He had 1 gf before and she was a virgin when they got married. After one or two years of marriage they both went for other people. Why? Because they realized that there are other people other that may be a better match to her and him, physically and emotionally. I am trying to put you in a situation when you will wake up next day and become negative and pessimistic about your marriage and I hope everything works out for you but I am afraid here you are lacking variety behind your belt.
Let me know how it went if you do man up and talk to your husband about the situation that have been bothing you. I am curious because I am somewhat in a situation myself.
2007-01-12 04:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am kind of in the same situation. I dont want sex as much as he does.. and he gets a real attidude if I dont put out. I know its like you have gotten used to eachother. And I would admit... my boyfriend isnt well endowed.. and comming from a relationship where ... ahemm he was LOL.. it was diffrent. I guess in my mind I say I know that he cant take me those places .. he cant even reach some of those places... but if you put your mind into it .. I can say those were the better sexual experiences... but also remember... you may be sexually attracted to someone else... but after the sex.. will they still love you, stand by you.. or was sex the only real thing they wanted... and after you seperated... what if there is noone as special as him... so try some new things. Masterbate first.. let him watch ,... that way you can orgasam.. and then he does his business.. but atleast..you got off... and men usually finish before 10 min hahahaha.
2007-01-12 04:04:59 · answer #7 · answered by c_leoo 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a good marriage except for sex. I don't know if you are turned off to sex altogether or just your husband. If you have no sex drive, you may want to see a doctor and find out what's wrong. If you only don't want your husband, you can either try to rediscover what attracted you to him in the first place or divorce him and find someone else.
2007-01-12 04:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I think you should do is e mail all the people who said you should cheat and tell them to keep their jr high school mentality to themselves and then they should consider a test for STD's.Any way, are you attracted sexually to anyone or are you completly without a sex drive?If everything else ( like you said ) is good then there certainly is hope, but no one on this site will be able to help go see a councellor and be honest with your husband.Maintain your integrity.Good luck to both of you.
2007-01-12 04:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have the sex drive for others? Do you find other guys really get you feeling in the mood or not? If you haven't had sex drive period for awhile than you should consult your Dr. because it could be a chemical imbalance. There Viagra like pills for women too. Do what you have to do to get the sex back in your marriage because a sexless marriage is a doomed marriage. He's a man, and he does need it. If you cant give it to him he will unfortunately be drawn elsewhere.
2007-01-12 04:14:56 · answer #10 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Dr. Phils answers;
"Your Troubled Sex Life"
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/59
"Sexless Statistics"
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/372
"Sex Styles That Don't Match"
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/66
2007-01-12 04:11:55 · answer #11 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋