My girlfriend and I were together for almost 5 years and not much changed. I worked and took care of all financial matters while she did a few house hold things and played video games the rest ofthe time. She broke up with me saying she needed to experience new things and enjoy being young. She also started working and college at the same time. Which I am proud of her for doing and respect her strength to decide such a difficult "change of life" leap. But now she says she has changed so much in the short time away and she is not the person I once loved so much and sees herself incompatible with the former life we had together. She says she worries about me and wants to maintain contact so that she knows I am OK and we can "be there" for each other. I she just saying this to tell me we are finished forever or she wants to be free from the bonds of our relationship and still have the option of me when she needs me?
2007-01-12 03:41:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think she changed because she realized she was stuck in a rut. Not your fault she sat on her bottom and got comfortable. You didn't put her in the rut. Now she wants to experience some thing new. You guys are not married so this actually is a good thing because she is going to be able to be strong on her own and that is what you want. This time apart will show her how deep your relationship was and help her to grow up. I think she wants to keep you close because you are security for her she knows she can depend on you and that you love her. But don't let yourself be used. Don't allow her to keep you on a string like a yoyo. If you still love her and it hurts to see her this way then delay the friend move for awhile. Take time to let go.Trust me You want a woman who is secure with herself and together you make eachother stronger.
She will come to find that what you two have is nothing compared to whats out in the world now. Let her experience this now and if it is meant to be She will be back and it will be better.
2007-01-12 05:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What bonds of a relationship? You people are playing house. You are behaving like you are married, yet for some odd reason you chose not to do the grown up thing and get married. When children play house, they generally get bored with it after a while and decide to move on. That is probably what happened here, she got bored with the pretnese that she was married when she really wasn't so now she is moving on to something else. Until you are married, there is no real solid commitment, she can just up and leave at any time. 5 years is more than enough time to know that you are compatible and that it is time to get married. She may not say those are her reasons, but most situations where people shack up and pretend to be married, end this way. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want a commited relationship, then get married, otherwise you will have this dynamic for the rest of your life.
2007-01-12 11:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me your girlfriend had a lot of time on her hands, thanks to you keeping her at home. Sounds like she must have had some time for reflection and serious thinking about her life and not necessarily with you in it, along with her few household things and video games. Sounds like Now she wants to move on with her life. And yes a person can change. She probably has made friends and probably left with the encouragement of friends too. Do you know if she was seeing a psychologist or doctor when she was living with you. Sounds like she had some help. What ever happened back then, today she sounds like she wants to move on, but wants to give you the encouragement and help she received from her friends, and maybe even as a guilt offering from taking from you so much for 5 years. Now that's a long time... I would say, Get over her and make a new life forself. If she wants to be friends, fine, but I doubt she wants to come back.. be thankful and find yourself someone that wants to be with you and will love you..
2007-01-12 11:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Mari-Mari 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You nailed it.
Women like to have a back up/door mat guy around just in case.
FYI,
People can change a lot in 3 months, but they can also easily go back to old habits just as quickly.
I recommend to let her grow up and be independent and for you to move on. Her using big words like "incompatible" is her trying to grow up.
People need to grow before having a long term relationship. I know 5 years is a long time, but not compared to living 80 years.
2007-01-12 12:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much change in 3 months...
2007-01-12 11:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has changed and is ready to be her own person where you were doing it all for her before and i would say she has moved on and won't be back but does want your friendship just nothing more you will both be happier with time
2007-01-12 11:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by LOLO 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your suspicions are correct, she probably has met some educated men in collge and is getting with them now. find another woman and move on.
2007-01-12 11:47:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop trying to change her, accept her for who she is.
2007-01-12 11:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
for me i been in a relationship for 5years but he did something realy bad to in les then a week i change with him.
2007-01-12 11:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by ana 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋