Where you are going or when you will be back? Say for instance you get into an argument. Would you at least say, I need some time to think ... I'll be back in a little while? Or would you just up and leave and come back 2, 3 or 4 hours or even the next day? How do you and your spouse work through arguments? Is it acceptable to just go and come when you get ready?
2007-01-12 03:26:17 · 8 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leaving the house after or during an arguement and not saying where you intend to go or be back is a sure fire way to get a divorse eventually. It shows a certain lack of maturity. Sure, one should step back when an arguement gets heated and say something like "I don't want to say things I can't take back, so I am going for a walk, a drink, bowling and will be back in an hour". Leaving for the day, evening and coming back the next day or week, is well, immature and will surely degrade the relationship further, because then other issues are being added instead of dealing with the original arguement. Personally, I think one should be able to retreat to another room in safety and think. Or going for a walk with the dogs, working out or whatever. But going to a bar (dangerous), to a friend of the opposite sex (dangerous) , or off for a day or more is mean and dangerous. I think it would be wise to set some ground rules, when things are calm and no one is mad with "Darling, when we have a disagreement, I think we should agree to retreat to separate rooms when one of us needs time or space, and that the other person should respect a time out of say one or two hours in peace" I? have found that when people resort to fighting immaturely, it almost always lkeads to hard feelings and doesn't help at all, actuallym it makes things worse. Someone who resorts to name calling and debasing, bringing up the past, rubbing ones nose in past arguements or mistakes, is well, very bad for a relationship. One should cultivate an honesty and ability to forgive, forget and move on. It helps to admit when one is wrong or could have handled things better and learning about how ones mate reacts, and oneself also participates in an arguement can lead to constructive negoitiating that will actually enhance a couples feeling of respect and honor to one another. Good luck!
2007-01-12 03:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different. However, in my marriage, we have a "rule" that neither of us will ever storm out of the house during an argument. We might separate for a little while in separate rooms of the house, but we NEVER just "up and leave." This was my husband's suggestion; he feels that you should not abandon the situation without resolving it as best as possible. It does work. In past relationships, it was very easy just to leave, cool off, and then sort of pretend nothing really happened. But in my marriage, we always communicate and we almost always resolve arguments, peacefully in the end. But we do not storm out of the house.
2007-01-12 03:51:28 · answer #2 · answered by danika1066 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-30 22:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think to show respect, they should atleast say, "Look, I'm really upset right now and need time to cool off". They should say where they are going and about what time they'll be back. I know that when someone is mad, it seems stupid, but for example, if this happens with my husband, I want to know where my husband is because something bad could happen to him (or something could happen at home). Noone likes to worry.
2007-01-12 03:39:54 · answer #4 · answered by StormyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leaving might be a reasonable option but no, I don't think one should leave with out telling the other. It's just a manipulative ploy to make the other one worry. If you are both adults, then both can have the maturity to fight fair.
2007-01-12 05:08:19 · answer #5 · answered by SleeplessSuz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be acceptable to tell your mate u need some time to think and u are going out for a while....as u do not want to say something u will regret later...but always say goodbye--and never stay out all night long---always return before the sun comes up
2007-01-12 03:29:04 · answer #6 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you do this that you should at least say I need to leave - some time to think
2007-01-12 03:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Confussed you have to at least say give me some time. Otherwise it starts distrust
2007-01-12 03:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋