This is complicated just read the whole thing.?

Question

I'm study abroading very in Tokyo for one year. In Feb I'll get a 2 month vacation when I can go home for which I already have a plane ticket. I didn't plan to return because it's probably better for my year away experience if I don't go home. Right now my family is going through a lot of problems, my dad is becoming an alcoholic, and my mom left him and my sister is stuck in the middle, also my grandpa is kind of sick and our cat died. It sounds pretty depressing. I was thinking yesterday that I should go home, maybe it'd cheer my dad up if I spend time with him, and he'd calm down with the alcohol, and I could take some weight off my sister's shoulders. But now I'm worndering what really can I do? How could my being there improve the situation? it's an addiction. Not to mention all my american friends are away at college. So today I'm thinking that I should just stay here, and have fun on vacation with the friends I've made here. What do you think?

Answer 1

Blood is thicker than water, you should do what you can to help your family. Your sister may be around for a while and if you abandon her what kind of relationship will you have?

Answer 2

This is a hard decision to make. But since your family is going through all this drama, maybe they do need you. But then again, you are right when you say, "what can you do to fix it?" There really isn't much you can do to change someone. If someone wants to change they have to do on their own. It's sad your family is going through this, but there is always hope. Do you have to go home for the whole 2 months? Maybe you can go for a week or two just to check in with them. Since this is your vacation you do need to take advantage of that too. It's not like you get them everyday. When you talk to them on the phone does it sound like they need you? I think going home for a few days or so may help you and maybe them, but don't stay for 2 months. You need your time as well. Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh that all sounds so sad. I am not sure your being there would make a differnce. I would not want to spend my vacation in all that drama. It probaly sounds better to say, yes, u should go be with your family. But it doesn't sound fair to you to do that. Stay and have fun. you earned it. it is just to bad that u can't look forward to enjoying time with your family that you haven't seen in a while.
I think you should write letters and tell them what you feel and why you won't be coming home. Tell them you love them and miss them and wish things were different. Tell your sister to take herself out of the middle. It's called tough love.
Have a nice vacation and good luck with your studies

Answer 4

One thing to remember in life, Family comes first.
With that being said, I will tell you about my father.
I was studying to become a christian minister when his alchoholisim really started kicking his butt, he was on the brink of losing his job. I quit my schooling to help him out the best any daughter could, I told him daily he was worth more to me sober than if he was drunk. It took me 4 years to help him realize the bad part of being drunk all the time. Sure he hated me for butting in and giving my 2 cents worth of advise. But I persisted, I went through all the verbal assults and even a few physical punches from him.
Why?
I love him, he is my father. His life is worth more than an education and my selfish feelings of wanting to have fun.
I feel as though you should go home, being selfish when it could be your father's life at stake is NOT a good thing. Alchohol Addiction can kill. He could get into a car wreck and kill himself or another person. I was glad when I was there at 2-3-4 or 5 am in the morning when I was called to come pick him up from an all night drinking session. I knew he was safe then and that he would not hurt himself or someone else if I drove him home. THAT is the price we pay for being a family. We go through Heck together, and eventually the alchoholic will seek help.
My father thanks me every time I see him for saving his life.

Answer 5

Stay in Japan and explore. Do not go home.
Your parents have a problem. You do not. You are not responsible for them.They are adults and must be responsible for their own lives and actions. You have an opportunity of a life time.You need to live your life. You cannot help them. Believe me you will be making a big mistake if you go home. I suggest if you have a 2 month vacation, you would be better spending them visiting S.E. Asia or other areas of the Asia.While you are in Japan make friends (tomodachi) connections for your future.
very easy to call home and talk over the phone. get a cam for your computers your and theirs. you do not physically have to be there to support them. good luck sayanara

Answer 6

I think that you should go spend time with your family. Family is everything. You are aloud to have a 2 month vacation, so why not take it?
Family comes first. And it seems your sister needs you more then anything right now.

Answer 7

That is really up to you because no one knows your family better than you. I would probably stay where I am at but the only person I am concern with is your sister. I don't know how old she is but if she is still to young to leave the house then she must be going through a lot. but other than that everyone is grown and need to take responsibility for themselves. Good luck

Answer 8

You are right about the fact that it is an addiction, therefore there is really nothing you can do for him. However if you do come home, that would make a difference to your mom and sister. The choice is yours but you should think about your family and how they are suffering without you.

Answer 9

if you think that you can positively affect your family in any way, then go home!! it matters not about friends, friends are not sending you to college!! if however, you do not believe that your visit will help your family then by all means stay in tokyo.

i would however, in your popsition, go home. even if it made no difference. at least i will know i tried. what if you pass up this opportunity and something bad happens, do you want to live with- what if???

Answer 10

I'd say spend time with your family while you can. You never know what may happen to them. Japan will be there waiting when you get back.

You might be able to stage an intervention for your dad with your sister, & other friends/family & get him some help.