I have to write a short poem with a moral, Im not so good at this, if you could give me some suggestions on how to better this one, as well as the spelling, and grammer.
Tis it be thy may
I wont come out to say
You fooled me once but not again
I shalt not be a laugh again
I am no foe
but a friend
take my word
or thy life
I shalt not be a fool again
for I never was a fool to friend
You hurt me so
my darling Cole
I can not be with thee again
for I never was your friend
but I the foe instead
2007-01-12 03:15:30 · 3 answers · asked by danielle 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
NIce, congratulations.
2007-01-12 03:22:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Tis it be thy may
I won't come out to say
You fooled me once but not again
I shalt not be a laugh again
I am no foe
but a friend
take my word
or thy life - UNSURE ABOUT THIS POINT - TAKE THEIR LIFE OR YOURS?
I shalt not be a fool again
for I never was a fool to friend
You hurt me so
my darling Cole
I *cannot* be with thee again (WORKS BEST AS ONE WORD)
for I never was your friend
but I WAS the foe instead (SCANS MORE)
Added punctuation (apostrophes) where appropriate - I'm an English teacher and believe personally that poetry should be personal and if YOU feel it is better without the additions/marks then have it so - one person's taste is anothers. As for sentiment, it is very similar to that of Shakespeare in tone and style, especially with reference to 'foe' - try looking up his sonnets, especially the earlier (1-40 or so) sonnets. More inspiration?
Enjoyed though!
2007-01-12 03:45:50 · answer #2 · answered by p_giffney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its pretty good! You have a talent with word usage and fluntness. Sorry cant spell
2007-01-12 03:20:27 · answer #3 · answered by juggalette162006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋