any who makes me laugh the more by saying a superhit joke wiil be the best joker.?

Question

answers to be given by february 12

Answer 1

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of More holes before heading to the hospital.

He ended up playing all eighteen of course, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant....then he remembered his wife.

Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock' care. And you'll be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The doctor snickered and said, "Hey I'm just messing with ya. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

Answer 2

Did you hear about the blonde that was fired from the M&M factory? Yeah she threw out all the W's. What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes? An Interruppter. Why did the blonde dye her hair? Artifical intelligence. How can you tell a blonde has been at the computer screen? By the white out or correction tape on the monitor. Why did the blonde smile when it was lightning outside? She thought she was getting her picture taken.

Answer 3

CHILDREN

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students ... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what ? " Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.
"Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! "






" No Way ! "






"Yes, way ! "






"Do NOT eat the fruit ! "
said God.






"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "

God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? "
God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you ? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.
"She started it ! "
Adam said.
"Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! "
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

!

1.
You spend the first two years of their life

teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.



2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.


3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.


4. Children seldom misquote you.

In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.


5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.




6. We child proofed our homes,

but they are still getting in.




ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.


AND FINALLY:


IF YOU HAVE A LOT
OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Answer 4

THIS ONE IS AUSOME IF IT DOSNT MAKE YOU LAUGH THEN REPLY ME WITH ALL ................ WORDS





There was an American who was in India for few days .in his house he was having an Indian servant.he doesn't know Hindi at all and his servant doesn't know English.

One day he was feeling very hot because of no power ,so he wants the door to be opened so he told his servant in such a way that he was speaking in his language but still the servant ,who dint know English understands it and he opens the door .


so how its possible ,


think



think...



think.....




he told his servant ..........


NOTE: Read it very very fast

"THERE WAS A COLD DAY"

Answer 5

A duck walks right into a bar and asks the bar mushy, "were given any 'gwapes'?", and the bartender replies, "No, sorry i do not promote grapes right here." So the duck leaves and is going abode to relax and the subsequent day he walks into an same bar and asks the bar mushy, "were given any gwapes?" The bartender replies, "No, sorry i do not promote grape right here." The duck leaves and is going abode to relax and the subsequent day, he is going back to the bar and asks the bartender, "were given any gwapes?" The bartender angrily replies, "i do not favor to ought to allow you to recognize back, i do not promote grapes right here and in case you inquire from me back i will nail your beek to the counter of the bar!" The duck leaves and is going abode to relax. the subsequent day the duck is going to the bar and asks, "were given any nails?" The bartender looks at him and screams, "No, we do no longer have any nails!" The duck then asks, "were given any gwapes?"

Answer 6

An astrologer told a frog that a day will come when he will touched by a woman in every part of his body.
he asked where .to this he said ,"in biology lab".

Answer 7

Whats the difference between a ladies blouse and a girls shirt?



How fast you can get them to take it off!

Answer 8

Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other
so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather
forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other
hand it would be hot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from
Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached
there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to
return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he
didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally

reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him "
Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and
said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear
banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------

Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------

Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao,
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------

How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a
conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------

Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies
Yaar...!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------

What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------

Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------


Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 - Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

2 - Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Sheddy

3 - Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

4 - After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

5 - One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

6 - Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is jayanthi.

7 - Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told
WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walked. Suddenly sardar said loudly, " I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.

8- Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

9 - Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!


Boss to assisstent: Keep that sardar busy for a while when I'm attending my conference!

assisstent: Your Majesty! sir!

Assisstent had gained victory over it! (keeping the sardar busy)



can you believe what he did?


scroll down

Scroll down


Scroll down



Scroll down



Scroll down


He put the sardar in a circular roo and told him to find the corner!


If you din't laugh at this joke then scroll down!!



Scroll down


Scroll down


Scroll down


You had to laugh right now!!
Laugh now he he he he he he he !!!!







-1-
Child : (returning from his cricket match in his compound) "Mom mom ", can I have an apple?

Mom: But you just ate one.

Child : An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.

-2-
Child : (returns home after getting her report card)

Mother:whats your final grade?

Child : Underwater

Mother : what does that mean?

Child: Below C LEVEL

-3-
(Bollywood joke)
Jo and SO went to a forest for a trip. They saw a lion. Why did JO get scared and SO die?

Ans:- JO dar gaya SO mar gaya.


PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE RATE IT.

Answer 9

yo mama's so fat, she worked at the waffle house and used waffles to wipe the butter dripping off her armpits

Answer 10

Did you hear the one about the peanut in the park???....... It was assaulted.