My friend Ed who is 35 and whom I have known since 1992 has changed dramatically to the point I dont even talk to him anymore. He has a major drinking problem as he is at the bar at least 5 out 7 days a week. He has major health problems and gout. He also doesnt have a good relationship with his family as both parents are dead. He has been getting involved with this 22 year old trailor trash crack whore stripper who is a drug user and has spent time in jail. She treats him as her sugar daddy but he cant leave he as he has no self confidence to find Has my friend hit rock bottom?another woman. Now he says she had a baby and he says it could be his. The baby is 2 months old and he hasnt got a DNA test. Now, is Ed lying to me about the baby being his? He said she was having sex with 3 other guys regularly besides him. Wouldnt he have gotten the test by now? Is he starving for attention? Is he seeking my help? I just got married and bought a home. He has lately been slanderous about me
2007-01-12 02:59:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Try to talk to him about getting help for his drinking, AA is a good start. But he has to want to get help. Drinking is the root of his problems, there are plenty of free facilities that can help. Once he gets his health problems under control, he will realize the girl is using him.
2007-01-12 03:06:46 · answer #1 · answered by coutterhill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing about rock bottom is that there IS NO rock bottom. Just when it looks like someone has hit rock bottom it turns out there's more fallling to be done.
If he's lying about you dump him, and send him a Christmas card every year. If he's got an alcohol problem and all the rest there isn't much you can do to help him, and there may be no point in having him in your life much, if at all.
2007-01-12 13:00:32 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hasn't hit rock bottom yet.
When your friend wakes up next to a dead hooker with a slaughtered pig at the foot of his bed, and has 3 or 4 syringes hanging from his neck, because the hooker told him the night before that if you inject heroin through the neck you'd see God, and his house is on fire, he has 10 kilos of cocaine duct tapped to himself and can't get them off because he has no knife, there is a stray dog with a foaming mouth taking a ginormus crap on his pillow, all his groceries are being eaten by children missing one or more fingers from a local orphanage because he thought he was the mesiah for a night and tried to save them but the only way he could save them was to cut off a finger, and he has the FBI waiting outside to ask him some questions. That my friend, is when your friend has hit rock bottom.
Your friend doesn't have a drinking problem. It is obvious he has short term memory-loss though. Because he has to go to the bar to find directions to his trailer. Your friend is 35 and he is dating a 22 year old stripper? Nothing wrong with that except the "crack-whore part" But we all have problems.
But to be completely honest with you. Stick with him man. I can joke all day long, but the reason your friend is spinning out of control more now than ever is because you are not there for him. And what kind of friend leaves another one when things start getting ugly? A pretty shitty one. The kind who thinks the "American dream" is more important than a good friend.
If I was your friend and you did that to me. I wouldn't spin out of control. I'd shoot your dog. Then I'd frame you for insurance fraud, and get you all Liqoured up and take pictures of you with a hooker, which somehow manage to get to your wife, who leaves you, takes all of your money, because you forgot to sign a pre-nup didn't you? And finally I'd take pictures of you naked with your mother, that way your family ties are broken now. Then you'd probably be back down at friend level....Then I'd make you beg for my forgiveness.
Some friend you are!
2007-01-16 02:20:37 · answer #3 · answered by Willie-D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rock bottom is relative, is it not?
He's going in a direction where your friendship is not worth much to him. You say he slanders you on top of all that.
You just got married (congrats), bought a home (congrats again). You might be wise to leave him alone for a while, to see if he really cares about your friendship.
He might hit rock bottom when he's in the hospital because of his addition(s); when his girlfriend(s) abandon him there and when he has no valuable friendships left. He might call you when he reaches that level.
2007-01-12 11:08:41 · answer #4 · answered by curly bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone's hit rock bottom there's no question about it. So he hasn't. Maybe you can get him help before he does. His drinking will affect his mood, make him irritable, severely affect his judgement and decision making and he won't have control over his impulses. That's the problem that should be addressed before any of the others. It's probably the root of all the other problems.
2007-01-13 15:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by willow78 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest AA to him, and then go to the Al-Anon meetings which use the same 12 steps but teach how a person can live a serene life even when the people they love are drinking.
I know. I am one of them. Brought up with Alkies and still have them around (don't we ALL??) But alanon is my source of help
2007-01-12 16:31:13 · answer #6 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is an alcoholic. And until he admits it and seeks help he will use anyone who allows themselves to be used. Do an intervention when he is sober. Tell him how much you care about him and want to help. Tell him if he doesn't get help, you can't be friends with him anymore. Before you meet with him, check into some different rehabs and figure out how he can go to one of them immediately should he decide to take you up on your offer of help.
2007-01-13 04:28:02 · answer #7 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away or you will develop Co-Dependent Syndrome, if you haven't already. The guy's a loser and needs help, but not the kind you can give. Tell him to go to AA but let him fix himself. If you can't do that, YOU are the one who needs therapy. You may already be in danger. Look up Co-Dependent Syndrome, and good luck...
2007-01-14 00:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by bigcha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is an alcoholic who is probably lonely and enjoying the fruits of the forbidden tree.....
try to help him to AA .tearing down his relationship doesn't help......If he doesn't want to get help..ask him about the child? Maybe its his ,I doubt it...Wouldn't it be nice for the kid to have a dad..If the guy marries the woman of his dreams (hee hee ) he may declare the kid and momma his heirs......Whatever the outcome try to be supportive but don't let his dilemma destroy your new life.....
Ultimately we all make choices , some worse than others...
take care of your life.......
2007-01-12 20:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by cesare214 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. You'll know he has hit rock bottom when HE decides to get dried and and help. You can ask him if he's readdy to go to AA but that's about all you can do. You know that lending him money or helping him is helping him destroy himself as long as he's boozing, right?
2007-01-12 11:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋