Has my friend hit rock bottom?

Question

My friend Ed who is 35 and whom I have known since 1992 has changed dramatically to the point I dont even talk to him anymore. He has a major drinking problem as he is at the bar at least 5 out 7 days a week. He has major health problems and gout. He also doesnt have a good relationship with his family as both parents are dead. He has been getting involved with this 22 year old trailor trash crack whore stripper who is a drug user and has spent time in jail. She treats him as her sugar daddy but he cant leave he as he has no self confidence to find Has my friend hit rock bottom?another woman. Now he says she had a baby and he says it could be his. The baby is 2 months old and he hasnt got a DNA test. Now, is Ed lying to me about the baby being his? He said she was having sex with 3 other guys regularly besides him. Wouldnt he have gotten the test by now? Is he starving for attention? Is he seeking my help? I just got married and bought a home. He has lately been slanderous about me

Answer 1

dude. what's the old saying? you can lead a horse to water but....

my advice is this.

Your friend has serious problems. His life is falling apart and he's given up on trying to hold himself together. He's just letting himself go to seed. In the meantime, he's turning towards things that help him feel better. sex. multiple women. etc. maybe even drugs. makes him feel good. of course that's not a long term solution to his problems. leads to things like babies, aids, crime, imprisonment, addiction, depression and even death.

But, he's at a point where short term good feeling is better than thinking about the long term issues. And he's willing to sacrifice everything. Including his friendships. To feel better right now. He doesn't care about the future, only the present.

The only solution for him is to seek professional help before it's too late. That's it. He can't do it by himself. He needs help

Now, the only way you can help this guy is to convince him not to give up. To at least try therapy. One last ditch effort before the world swallows him up. Get him to go. Group therapy would be great. Others in the same boat. Understand?

Beyond that, you can't straighten him out. You're not a professional. And you're too close to the situation. You will end up being an enemy. That is how he will see you. The decisions are his. You, as a friend, can only to encourage him to help himself. like getting professional therapy. but that's it. It's sad. watching a friend crash. But his footsteps are his choice.

Another thing, you gotta stop calling his female friends trash. He see's them as equals. You calling them trash = you calling him trash. More than likely they have the same problems as him. lost. unsure future. no hope. live for the present. drugs = no worries. Probably not bad people. Just lost.

Answer 2

Only your friend Ed can say when he has hit his rock bottom, and hopefully he will realize when he has. He has a trophy chick on his arm at present and thinks he is a big shot for this. As for the DNA test that is up to him also and he may not to know the truth right now as he may be afraid to learn it. Too bad that he is talking poorly of you at present but in time if he does decide to straighten up then he may be remorseful and actually apologize to you for doing so. There is not a lot that you can do at present, you could attend for a couple of Alanon meeting (for friends and family of problem drinkers) to learn how to better deal with his drinking. Best of luck to both you and Ed.

Answer 3

he may be doing ALL of those things. I am also someone who hit rock bottom, and sometimes when a person is there, it is hard to see any other way out. Do not discourage him about positive influences that could come his way. If you want more suggestions, you may email me at this same name, I can send you a few websites that might give you some more insight on this problem, but above all else...maintain your integrity, and do not let this person suck you down into the pits of dispair with him! Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 4

I think Ed lives a very lonely life style and goes to the bar to be around people and feel like he has some sort of family. He probably is with the 22 year old because to him he has a campanion and one that is in less condition then him, so it might make him feel good knowing that he is helping to someone even though it might not be in the best of ways. As for the baby, he definitly needs to get a DNA test unless he wants to support a child that has a 1/3 chance of not being his. I believe he is lacking direction in his life and he is going to all the wrong places to fulfill what he is looking for which I think is someone to share his life with. You can try to help him, but he needs to realize himself the lifestyle he has chosen for himself and want to change that.

Answer 5

Sounds like you friend maybe jealous of your new life. Do you two still spend time together? You need to try and talkto him about his behavior, and you can tell by his reaction and sometime if you should continue being friends with him.

Answer 6

Yes I think your Friend could use some support and encouragement at this time. Instead of denying him friendship give it to him. He will slowly start to come right.

Answer 7

maybe he just needs to be accept by someone drinking does that to a person mine .they feel unwanted and un love be a real friend and always be there for him