I have recently found out that i am pregnant. When i told my boyfriend the news he was not happy. He doesnt think he's ready to have a baby, and wants to travel more before settling down. I felt the same until i found out i was pregnant so i completely understand where he's coming from. Despite this, he has told me that it is up to me whether i want to have the baby or not. He has said he will support me 100%. I dont think i can have an abortion. Am i being selfish by wanting to have this baby even though he has said he's not sure?? Thanks for any feedback...
2007-01-12 02:47:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
im 21, he's 22 by the way.
2007-01-12 02:49:25 · update #1
You are not being selfish at all Im 19 and my boyfriend is 23...It might sound weird but the truth is that NOBODY is ever actually 100% ready for a baby....I was super nervous at first and wasnt sure but you know what a baby is YOURS not anybody elses you are that babies protector and the one who will carry it in your belly for 9 months...yes it will change your life and you will be limited to things but you can never give up the chance to be a mom...its a priceless gift trust me...I gave up alot of things and I actually had yor same thoguhts I know how you feel but Im gonna have my baby on monday and just thinking about haing him here with me brings tears to my eyes...you and your boyfriend wont regret it its wonderful....and when you feel that first kick thats the best one youll never 4get it...Well good luck and hopefully everything will work out.
P.S. Abortions arent to healthy either I have a friend who had one done and she got pregnant a couple of months afterwards and now she wants to keep the baby...shes already 3 or 4 months and has been bleeding during her whole pregnancy...I dont know if the abortion has to do with it though the doctors dont know whats wrong either...Sorry if I wrote to0 much
2007-01-12 02:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by *Tiny Mommy* 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No your NOT, Do what your heart tells you but PLEASE don't have an abortion I have a friend here at work she is 43 when she was 23 she ended up pregnant she thought she wasn't ready to be a mom she wanted the same travel have more financial income party with friends etc. know she has been trying to conceive for the past years with NO luck she even cries because it hurts her not being able to have the feeling of being a Mommy, I see all because we are best-friends we keep no secrets from each other if I was in your shoes I would have the baby maybe is a gift from God wanting your relationship to last longer and get closer to each other, You are both at a good AGE to be parents I respect every-ones opinion just sharing with you what I know an abortion could cause besides girl look at it the bright side he is going to support you 100% I bet when you told him yeah he was shock anything could've came out of his mouth but if he told you he is supporting you 100% that means he really wants to be a Daddy Congrats to both of you. Good Luck on your decision and Congratulations I am Trying to Conceive myself think I am pregnant and girl let me tell you I will give the world to this little one if I am. GOOD LUCK!!!. :o)
2007-01-12 11:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Help? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. thats not selfish. he helped youget in this situation so he should respect what decision you want. Abortion is horriable but a personal choice. Were you on Birth controll when you got pregnant? did you use any protection? if you didnt then what did you expect? & if you did then "sh*t happens." EITHER way this is YOUR baby. It happened for a reason. go with it and see whats in store for you!
if you cant provide for the child then think about adoption. As many people say on here about questions like this there are hundreds of people who would love your kid and provide for it.
This is just a situation you guys have to work out. He did say he would back you up 100% sit down and have a SERIOUS talk...
what can you live with in the long run???
2007-01-12 11:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by AC 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you are not. You are thinking of the baby and taking responsibility for your actions. Think of how worse you would feel if you had an abortion and didn't feel sure about that. It would haunt you for the rest of your life.
He has said he will support you 100% which I think is very respectable and shows how much he loves you. And i'm sure once the baby is born and he sees him/her, he won't think its too bad after all. He's got 9 months to get used to it. Just sit down and talk it through with each other. About whats going to happen and how you are going to deal with it and cope. Having a child is a wonderful thing, i'm sure he will realise that once the baby is here.
Good luck! x
2007-01-12 11:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are definitely not being selfish at all. I am heading into my 20th week of pregnancy and even though it wasn't planned we were both shocked and excited when we found out. We are big into travelling, too, and have travelled alot since I have been preg. When I have the baby we will still continue to travel. It may not be as easy, but it will be even more of an adventure. Plus, if you travel when the baby is small, no airplane ticket fees. :)
2007-01-12 11:02:01 · answer #5 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
is everybody crazy today or am i just old? abort dont abort,have it,give it away,100% support,not really feeling it. whats wrong with you ppl??!! youre preggers who gives a rats a*s if hes ready or not? you are. the kid is. lets have a baby & to hell with all this im feeling selfish crap. youre pregnant doll! wow. what a miracle you have attached to you right now & forever.if you feel this is what you want regardless of the dad then get on with it. are you prepared to be a single parent tho? it could happen & then again he could turn out to be the best dad ever. you know lifes a crapshoot sometimes.sorry i was so loca at 1st. actually congrads are in order & good luck with what ever you decide.God bless you all.
2007-01-12 11:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by ginger 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course it's not selfish! It's not the baby's fault he was produced and in all fairness it's best to keep him/her. And as far as settling down, it's not the end of the world, you can still do things. Mine was a surprise, and I haven't changed the way I do things. You can still travel, go out ect. You just have an extra person in tow! So have your baby shower, pack your diaper bag and get ready for a fun ride!
2007-01-12 10:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by jstar104 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not being selfish. By choosing to have this baby you are thinking of someone other than yourself - the infant!
If you don't feel right raising this baby without the father then you can always put the baby up for adoption.
It doesn't matter whether or not the "father" feels he's ready to have a baby - he was obviouisly ready to take the risk and have sex with you.
2007-01-12 10:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No you're not selfish. It's instinctual. I personally couldn't get rid of my child. Sometimes it's amazing how instantaneous the bond is.
Unfortunately babies don't always come when it's convenient, and while they will change your life, you can still do the things you love. You'll just be plus one.
Give your boyfriend some time. He may be resentful of his seeming loss of freedom now, but hearing the heartbeat or holding that child for the first time changes your life and your priorities.
Have a happy and healthy nine months!
2007-01-12 10:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by sheldwyn 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your not being selfish because you want to keep your child. If he wasn't ready for a child he should have taken more precautions. If he says he will support you 100% either way. Then I would keep your baby. There is no way your being selfish. Who says you have to stop traveling b/c you have a child? You can travel with your child.
2007-01-12 11:03:33 · answer #10 · answered by sleepyincarolina 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋