My husband and i met in college which was fun we had a blast.Now we have been married just about three years and i am turning 24 everything seems to be going down hill very fast for some reason.Financially we are fine living very comfortably but still hubby finds something wrong with everything and anything?We have a daughter who is turning 2 yrs old and my uncle who is turning 16 who lives with us.Neither child causes too many problems really my uncle keeps to him self really or babysits for my daughter which is a huge help.Both me and my hubby work but i only work part time.He thinks i am being lazy!and that my house keeping skills are terrible when really he never helps out and i consider my cleaning fair at least.My husband also never wants to talk about anything anymore, he makes decisions without consulting me he bought a Camaro that he crashed!All of a sudden he wants to stay out with the boys all night?No longer intrested in sex? He wont go to therapy!
2007-01-12 02:47:38 · 15 answers · asked by Nicole S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have not let my self go really at 5 ft 7 and 114 pounds.I have always taken care of myself and all my efforts to restore his intrest in me(S factor workout i bought a pole) seem to be failing sex only 3 times a month.We went to therapy once and he got made proceeded to walked out after spitting at me.
2007-01-12 02:53:21 · update #1
He is driving me insane!
2007-01-12 02:58:02 · update #2
Well Nicole if he is refusing therapy then your relationship may indeed be on the downside. If you can't (or he refuses) discuss what is happening it makes things all the worse. Perhaps a trail separation is your best option. That way he and you will have some to do some soul searching and see what you each really want out of this relationship. There is no way that you should have to live in an environment like you are at present as it sounds like your being emotionally abused. All I can say is best of luck and if he is just going through a phase of missing the single life hopefully it will end soon.
2007-01-12 02:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is staying out all night and not interested in sex.
I would be thinking maybe he has found someone else.
Complaining and putting your down........sounds like he wants you to be worried about what you are doing wrong so you don't wonder what he is doing when he is out at night.
If I was you I would follow him and make sure in case you find him doing something he is not suppose to be doing IE doing someone else you take a video camera for future divorce proceedings.
And if you can not do this while controlling your emotions for your sake and your child's hire a PI.
If you do it yourself don't let your emotions take control.Keep remembering you are doing this to protect yourself and your child.Get the camera footage then go to a lawyer.And don't let him know about any of it.Even if you catch him actually with someone.Not til you talk to a lawyer and get advice on what to do next.Do not let him know anything.
Then if you follow him and find nothing going on tell him either family or couples counseling or you and he need to rethink the marriage that is if you are ready to let go and move on.
DO nothing til you are sure it is what you want to do.
2007-01-12 03:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by southernbell_1313 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is unhappy with his life right now and where he thinks it's heading. That is common and please don't throw the marriage away. Not worth it. It's certainly not a reason to split up. Change is what is needed probably. Talk it out and re-unite. This is just a time that talk is important and getting together with a common goal. Don't let it ruin your marriage. Couseling would be good, but talking it out is most important.
Do one of those Make-Over's with the routines or something. Start doing things together.
All the compaints and whining are just verbal expressions about being unhappy with his life.
My opinion.
2007-01-12 02:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force anyone to work at anything. Sounds as if he is trying to head out the door. Go full time at work and put away a bit of money each week. He is feeling the pressure of family and he is trying to escape it. It is totally up to him if he wants the help of counseling or not. Do what you can but start to prepare, I say this because I have been in your shoes.
2007-01-12 03:02:30 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is pratcing for a mid life crisis if you ask me you proabaly just got married too young and he was unable to sow the wild oats i know that sounds horrible but there is something to it at a certin age when we shake off our parents and go to collage or out on our own in the world there are things to do partys to attend and worlds to see and by getting married so early and having a daughter he has gotten to much responsibility too quick (so have you) i am 35 and sometimes feel like my life is too much to handle also so i can't begin to imagine what it is like to have a family so early it's got to be hard on both of you and even at your age your mor mature than him (obviously) don't give up yet keep asking about the counsiling ask him also point blank if he is having an affair and tell him how lucky he is to have a 16 year old live in babysitter... the last time i went out was in july for lack of good babysitters in the area....hang in there follow your heart and listen to your intuition........
2007-01-12 03:04:56 · answer #5 · answered by auntie s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your hubby will not seek counseling then you go get it for yourself (if you feel the need for it). if not then it's time for you to start living life for yourself again. don't try to make it work for the sake of the child. because if you do that, then you will be the one to suffer the most and the child along with you. make a decision. you can either stay where you are and stay miserable and complain (which will get you nowhere). your you can start to life your own life without him. he made his choice and his actions are saying that he doesnt' want this relationship with you anymore. are you going to just sit there and take it? or are you going to start living life for you again? where is your sense if independence? where is your sense of self indentity (meaning the person and name that you were before you got married)?
2007-01-12 03:01:01 · answer #6 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He spit at you?! OMG! That is disgusting. There is something else going on in his head besides lack of sex drive. If you two tried therapy and then ended in saliva leaving his mouth at high velocity then you may want to take a good hard look at the kind of man you really married.
This isn't looking promising.
2007-01-12 03:02:27 · answer #7 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! the first six human beings to respond to you particular were a$$holes! Your husband sounds like an complete jerk. initially, any guy who would hit a small baby with particular needs should be locked up. you won't be able to proceed to allow your daughter to be abused like that. Secondly, if my husband persistently pulled all nighters with the adult men with out a unmarried idea for me or his relatives, he'd come domicile to locate the locks replaced and his own effects waiting on the sidewalk. i recognize you've annoying circumstances yet you'd be more desirable off on my own mutually with your little ones than with the pig you married.
2016-10-17 01:01:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is no fun and your husband has realized that, he wants to party and wants his single life back, sad, but seems like his mind is made up, try finding a good divorce attorney instead of a counselor.
2007-01-12 02:56:52 · answer #9 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He spit at you in couselling? I hate to tell you this, but he is a nut! Sounds like he's tired of the relationship. You sound like your attractive so I can't say what his problem is, but sounds like he misses the single life. If you're really brave then leave him for a few nights...see if he calls to beg for you to come back...if he doesn't then you have major problems on your hands.
2007-01-12 02:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋