My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship which we now reguarly see during weekends. Lately I have started to find myself not looking forward to having her to stay. I know this sounds terrible and I feel really bad about it. My only thought for me feeling like this is because I really want a baby of my own and feel left out. Am I a bad person for feeling like this?
2007-01-12 02:45:11 · 6 answers · asked by Annabelle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your soooooo not a bad person. I was in a similar situation and felt the same way! It is one of the most difficult situations you can put yourself in. But you did choose to marry him with baggage in toe. If I were you I would talk to him about it, does he want any more children? Be thankful you don't have issues with his ex ..... Do what I did, let your guard down try and enjoy the time with her, if you do have your own some day you will be that much of a better mother for filling the roll as you have been already. Good luck, keep your chin up.
2007-01-12 02:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jakes Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Lucy,
Your feeling is justified from your point of view.
But for you to have a better perpective of the scenario think if you were the daughter in this case, what would you want the approach to be in this matter......
Second having a daughter in this case even if its your husband's will not prevent you from having your own child and giving love to Children will only teach you to be at ease with your own child.
Last but not the least just you feeling so does not make you a Bad person, talk to your husband about the same and both together will surely find a way out.
Wish you all the Best to get this issue in your life resolved in a Happy and Positive Manner.
2007-01-12 12:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by questionmark to exclamation 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of you I understand you as I have 2 step children myself. You need to try to bond more with her. Maybe go out alone with her and have some fun. It's not her fault that she is in the situation she's in and it's not her job to like you. It's your job as the step-mom to gain her love and trust. And by doing this you will become bonded to her as well. I do understand that you want a baby of your own but if you do that now you will make her feel left out big time. You need to create a good relationship with her first and that way when you do decide to have your child she can feel involved and part of the family as well. It really can work out but it takes a lot of effort from the adults involved. Hope this helps.
2007-01-12 10:53:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should let your husband know that you're feeling left out and that you want a baby together with him. he probably has absolutely no clue you're feeling that way because most men tend to be particularly dense that way. i wouldn't go into depth about how you're not wanting to see his other child but maybe just say use that as a way to start the conversation about how his other child makes you feel left out. i think what you're feeling is completely natural especially since you would like a child of your own. maybe once you resolve this issue you won't be feeling so badly towards the other child.
2007-01-12 10:51:25 · answer #4 · answered by kestrelk8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not at all. Your mommy instincts are kicking in. I've never married and I don't have children, but past relationships I've dated, they've had children of their own and I felt the same way. I'm glad thoughit didn't work out; because he was a freak. But talk to your husband about it; maybe you guys might be ready to start your own family; certainly nothing wrong with that =)
2007-01-12 10:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No But Probably if you have his daughter in your life she can be a great romodel and half sister for the baby you have to look at it in diffrent ways.
2007-01-12 11:06:49 · answer #6 · answered by scottsmith20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋