We've beeb seeing each other for 5 yrs. When it all started, it was nice. No reality to deal with, then I discovered he was still hung up in the past. His ex wife re married and seemed to do ok. He on the other hand cant let go of it, and its not healthy. She does his taxes. calls while we are on vacation together for no reason, drives his cars. He has 2 adult kids who cannot seem to support themselves and move home like a revolving door one comes and moves out then the other one comes and moves out. He works himself to death to support these adults who should have been independent in their early 20's, but still have not made it.
He told me if we married, I would have to move to his home which is falling down and he still owes thousands on. My home is paid for. He and I are just going no where. I am just not that into working out our issues when I know he does not respect me or he would have stopped his shinnanigans and made a life with me.
Im 42 he is 54. Is it over?
2007-01-12 02:33:11 · 15 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would like to leave, but am still very emotionally attached to him. Its like letting something die that could have been so good. We are so much alike. It makes me sick and emotionally drained. I refuse to let him live in the past and stay with me. I think I deserve so much more. I stopped calling him and now he calls me about 5 or 6 times a day. He blames me for all of his family disfunction, and says his kids dislike me. His ex tries really hard to get in my business, but he has been warned after 2 or 3 episodes she is not my friend.
2007-01-12 02:56:38 · update #1
No offense, but it sucks to be you. Been there, done that--just not for 5 years. This is gonna hurt.
2007-01-12 03:16:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You appear to have answered your own question. So what is holding you back from leaving him? I am guessing that you still love him? It's very hard to let go when you still love him. Is he aware of how you feel? Is he trying to gain control of his life? He is obviously finding it hard to let his "children" grow up and be independent. But they are no longer children. If your life is going nowhere with him then maybe its best to leave.
2007-01-12 10:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by ashwellgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's simply appalling and exhausting to see what low self esteem you have, to let this guy walk all over you, and do nothing but complain.
I'd love to have sympathy for you, but you're living the life you chose. Until you boot his butt to the curb, and find yourself someone worthy of you, you deserve everything you get.
It's not like you aren't in control of your life!
Are a masochist? Just love someone walking all over you?
YOU have the problem...not him!
2007-01-12 11:12:24 · answer #3 · answered by nova30180 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you answered your own question. I would not be in a relationship that I wasn't happy in. If he is stuck in the past then there is apparently not going to be a future for you two. Sorry. Wish you all the best.
2007-01-12 10:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by CassieB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my oh my,why would you even consider being in such a relationship?Just reading it made me tired.Get out of there before you end up burnt out.These are not your issues and don't let them become your issues.Get out of this situation right now,we all have ideas and dreams of what we wish would be when we see that wishing is all there is then don't be a fool and allow your self to be used and abused,Get Out.
2007-01-12 11:01:49 · answer #5 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it over? No, it's not over until you SAY it's over and take action. I feel for you and your long-suffering trial. Yeah, if you can deal with him and his burdens you've got far more patience and forebearance than Mother Theresa. Do you need it?
2007-01-12 10:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still 'attached' to his ex...then you need to give him the room so that he can remain attached to his ex. you need to be #1 in his life. not #2.
2007-01-12 10:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lets everyone use him, tell him that. Then state you don't want anything to do with his very bad situation. You can do much better
2007-01-12 10:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by jinniwren 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you wrote all what you intended to ask. NOW I recommend you to read your question as it is not yours, as if it is someone's else. And then give your answer privately to me!...
What the hell happening to all these people.
I am not american, you say moron, we say(translated) sheep, AND YOU DONT HAVE ANY RIGHT TO BE A MORON! PLEASE.. WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND WE ARE ALL EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS, SO YOU CANT DO IT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE HUMAN. IF YOU DO SO IT MEANS YOU ARE VIOLATING MY HUMAN RIGHTS
2007-01-12 10:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are worth more than that. Find someone who deserves you.
2007-01-12 10:38:06 · answer #10 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋