What's happening to me?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we love each other very much. He's a music artist, and does performances at clubs, etc. This is all new to us because his career just sort of took off now. He recorded a song with this female artist. I met her and she is no competition, except that she does have a nice figure. I don't have low self esteem, I believe I am pretty, and that he loves me, it just bothers me that they have to go from club to club to perform together. He told me that he will bring me to if not all, most of the performances and that I have nothing to worry about because he loves me, which he showed at this particular performance. Afterwards, he told me I was the "baddest" woman in there, giving me a compliment. He says it's work and an act, that I should not be jealous. But why do I feel so insecure and I start having all these thoughts about how they're going ot hook up, it just boils my blood inside and it's like my worse nightmare. What do I do?

Answer 1

Relax...your feelings are normal but try and gain some control over your emotions. He has professed his love for you and says he'll go these lengths to prove it. Hun...he's a musician. They all are showmen in their own rights. If he says it's a act, accept it as that. You said you haven't any concerns about the female artist and she's no competition so don't sweat it. Until he gives you cause just be normal and enjoy.

Answer 2

Believe what he says unless he gives you reason to believe otherwise. I used to manage a local band and the lead singer wore a ring on his hand---not a wedding band or anything that--he also had a girlfriend. I told him to not wear that ring on stage, because I didn't any female fans thinking he was not available. It's an image--it really is. His girlfriend understood and she was at almost every show.

So, just remember that it IS an act. He is trying to make something of himself and you will reap those benefits too. I know it's hard to not get jealous sometimes, but now you at least have some insight, I hope, from a disinterested third party (me) about how the game of performing is played.

Keep your chin up, go to the shows and try to have fun knowing that you are the one who gets to go home with him at the end of the night. It's not who you walk in with that counts, it's who you leave with. (My little attempt at humor here)

Answer 3

It's normal for you to feel this way because you feel he's sharing some sort of closeness with another woman and that's threatening to most women....I'd say even men would feel the same way in the same position.

It's hard to say what to do but it does sound like you can trust him....so try not to let it worry you too much. If he's treating you better than any other woman around, it's a good sign. If that starts going away, definitely keep your eye on it....!

Answer 4

you need to understand something. your boyfrined and this other singer going from club to club...that is where most of their business contacts will happen. in the club. that's where most of the businesses are done, contacts are made. if he doesn't network in the clubs then he may as well choose another career. you may not like it or even understand why it happens but it's the nature of the beast. maybe you should visit with your boyfriend so that it can put your own mind at ease instead of sitting there imagining things. he has offered you a chance to see what he does and a part of the entertainment business...you should take him up on that offer and meet this other singer that he works with.

Answer 5

I'm here to help! I'm dating a wonderful man who is in a band. He makes it known we are together and is very respectul on stage and with everyone he speaks too. If women ask; he'll point them to me (whether I'm talking to someone or whatever) or he will tell them where I am etc. We all tend to be insecure which is just nature. I've always been secure pretty much with who I am and how I look; that type of thing. Even before he and I started dating; he didn't put on any "acts" on stage. I hope this helps =)

Answer 6

It's tough being married or involved to actors and those in the arts because their jobs require them to do things that other professions do not.That is why so many of them(most) marry those in the same business , because they get the understanding.if it is something youcannot deal with, you may have to cut the rope. Otherwise, tell yourself its only a job and try not to worry about things to come .

Answer 7

those situations are very hard to deal with. When you start having a battle between love and trust. Just keep a lookout for the signs that he might be straying but until then you just have to trust in him and hopefully this wont go on for very long.

Answer 8

Jealousy pokes it's nasty little head in all the time. if he is offering to let you go to his gigs, then go, see that what they have is on-stage only. It is perfectly natural that they are just friends and co-workers. I would try to to over-stress about it, unless you have a situation come up that is questionable. He's been with you for 7 years, that does count for something. Good Luck

Answer 9

It sounds like your guy really digs you. He wants you there and he is proud to show you off...so he isn't sending any available signals to this girl at all.

It might help if you try talking more to her. It is more natural to be jealous of the unknown...if you get to know her then you may be more comfortable with her part in the music act.

Answer 10

This is what you might need to do, ok?
Ask him if he likes her.
He'll probably say no.
Ask him to tell you that he loves you.
He probably will tell you.
By the way he says it, find security.
Ask him to hold you.
Find the peace and hope in his arms that only he has for you.

Not to mention, sweetie, but do you think this one girl can come along and throw away all seven years of a relationship? If so, maybe he didn't love you. But it probably won't. You're just nervous. Don't be.