This child has not heard of seen the arguements, and only knows that there are all of a sudden new people in her parents lives. She is confused how do you explain this to her? When nothing ever seemed wrong at home?
2007-01-12 01:46:34 · 7 answers · asked by mybabyblue_eyes69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
try to be honest...i know i know this seems hard but u wouldn't believe what a 7 yr. old knows!! I just got out of a 5 and ahalf year relationship and had to explain to my 7 yr old at the time why i wasn't with my significant other anymore. I just told him that we didn't love each other anymore and stuff like this happens.If your child has the right meaning of love in their head they will probably understand!
2007-01-12 01:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by aml129918 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie. I was 8 when my parents divorced and my mother was honest about it-which was good because I knew what was going on. What I had the most problem with growing up (I'm 28 now and still suffer from it), is how your relationship with your soon to be EX is now and what it will be in the future. Never talk bad about your EX to your child. Never make your child choose between the two of you and never make them feel guilty for spending more time with the other. No matter what you did or the other party did in the marriage, it is not the child's fault. The child will love both parents. I am sure you know all this. My parents were lousy when it came to this and still are to this very day. My father has not spoken to me in over 6 mos. because I invited my mother to a graduation celebration for myself. He hates my mother, I don't. (my mom had custody by the way). Its all ridiculous and I always tell myself that I did not divorce either of them, they divorced eachother...that is not my issue. So be honest with your child. No need to tell them details but don't sugar coat it either...children know more than you think. Also reassure them that it is not their fault and reassure them that you will still be there for them for whatever. Goodluck.
2007-01-12 01:57:15 · answer #2 · answered by roxhart78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will understand your attitude more than your words anyway. I don't think that you need to say much at all if it's not going to change her life much. You could tell her that you and your husband are going to live in different houses and that she will be able to see either of you as much as she wants (I hope that's true). Don't bring up not loving each other anymore or new girlfriends/boyfriends as that will undermine her security - just call them friends. Try very very hard not to change anything in her life. Leave her in her school and in the same house if at all possible. Try to do things very gradually so as to not make any big change suddenly. Answer her questions truthfully, but only give as much information as is absolutely necessary. The less she knows the better it will be. Just try to keep things "normal" for her. Make sure that she does not see you and your husband putting each other down, name-calling or fighting.
2007-01-12 02:49:53 · answer #3 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can explain, on the level that she can understand, no major details, positive speaking about you and the other parent, it is not her fault, this is between mommie and daddie. We both love you and will always be mommie and daddie. Adults have issues to resolve. Allowing her to ask questions and assure her that she is going to be just fine.
2007-01-12 01:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by No More Abuse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can start off by asking the child if she knows what a divorce is. then you can give a very simple definition of divorce and then tell the child what you two are doing. but you always ALWAYS must continue to show your love and support for the child to let them know that it's not her fault. don't underestimate your child's intelligence and make the mistake of trying to cover it up. maybe there are childrens' books on divorce so that they can get a child's point of view and understanding on divorce.
2007-01-12 02:23:17 · answer #5 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you have to tell her who this new people are and where is daddy or mommy and that sometimes you will not see or see mommy or daddy but they are always there to love you, and also dont ever get tired of her why's questions. answer her the right facts/truth but to her own level of mind. God bless.
2007-01-12 01:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by blue violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that "daddy" has to go on a trip for a while, but she will be able to see him every once in a whilel. I wouldn't REALLY tell her until she is a little older, and maybe had figured things out a bit for herself
2007-01-12 01:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by annabanana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋