She betrayed me to "get ahead" and acted as she did nothing wrong. She doesn't admit any wrong-doing on her part and was very nasty at the end of our "friendship." She was a user and bad-mouthed me to people in order to make herself look good. Now after years, I hear from her out of the blue cuz she's riding high. It is strange and I wonder why after all these years.
2007-01-12 01:22:50 · 13 answers · asked by navigate33 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sounds like this person has come back to gloat and see if she is still better than you (in her mind/eyes) as she apparently always thought of herself. People who use you in these way, to benefit themselves, are always users. i say be polite, share as little information about your current status in life as possible without being rude. I would not give her any more material to work with basically. If she is stil in the same mindset as she was, my guess is she won't be around for long if she can't belittle you or step all over you. be strong and realize you control how much influence she has in your life. If she gets to be too much, tell her sorry but you would be better off not communicating. please don't let her bring that negativity back into your life. it will only hurt you on the long run if you do. Best of luck!
ps: i see many are saying people can change.. and that is VERY true,however, i am answering this based on the assumption she is the same old person... let me ask you this.. did she bother to own up to her wrong doings and apologize when she contacted you?. bottom line, you are still hurt about what happened, and if she is not addressing that.. you will remain hurt... i assumed that from the statement about her "riding high" .. that she came back to gloat cause she got ahead in life ..... sounds like a bragger to me :)
2007-01-12 01:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by Shay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would either ignore her and never reply back (not very good in etiquette, but understandable) or send a polite, non-committal email congratulating her on whatever she is supposed to have achieved. End with a formal "best regards" or "best wishes for future"... Keep it short and unconnected to her.
I have had such a "friend" and it took a couple of such replies, after which she just did not bother to contact me. She did mention that I was too "formal" in her second email but I ignored that part when I responded. The main thing is that there was nothing in the emails... just two or three lines of how nice to hear from her, I am doing fine, where I work now but nothing about past and certainly no "keep in touch".
2007-01-12 09:33:00 · answer #2 · answered by Developing Minds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is not return any calls. But if you do, remind her of what she did and how it made you feel. She may have changed, she may not. I've had friends do that to me and were very apologetic when they did get in contact w/me, but their attitudes and disposition were the same. So I moved on =) And it sounds like you might want to do the same =)
2007-01-12 09:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would acknowledge her, be civil and if you are not wanting to start back up with a friendship, don't. If she continues to contact you, talk to her about it . It may be that she feels bad and it has taken her this long to get up the nerve to apologize. Go with your gut instict and do what makes you feel comfortable.
2007-01-12 09:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by luvtheMarines! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get over it. sounds like she moved on but you are still stuck in the past. you do have a good reason to be bitter if what she did for you was soooo HORRIBLE, but if it were some silly schoolgirl fight -- get over it. make nice. she looked you up after years -- you should be flattered -- even if its just because she wants to brag to you how good she has it. if that's the case she really needs a good friend right now if she is that pathetic in her good fortune to have to look up someone from years past to be friends with.
if you want to be friends with her, it sounds like you really should try to resolve what's hurting you and mention it to her but MOVE on after you do. if she's a jerk over it, tell her you don't need a friend like her again.
2007-01-12 09:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by curious_One 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be cool, meet up with her for coffee and then assess the situation. There must have been an original basis for your friendship, and people do change.
2007-01-12 09:29:04 · answer #6 · answered by Mango M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
four years. Most important thing to do is ask yourself. Was I happy when she contacted me. Or would you be okay if you never spoke to her again. Just remember YOU pick your friends and who you want to be in contact with. If you dont trust her, and it was a bitter break up, I would be very weary about trusting her again. ??
2007-01-12 09:29:53 · answer #7 · answered by Vonnie S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be polite to her, and tell her that you are happy to know she is doing so good in life. Just don't give her any details about you or your life. And since you are not interested in re-establishing the broken friendhip, tell her so and ask her POLITELY not to call you again.
2007-01-12 09:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by David G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is probably lonely. If you are still better towards her ignore her. I hope that you can forget and forgive as that is better for you. It does not sound like you are at that stage and you have to consider that she would upset the life you have made for yourself.
2007-01-12 09:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by shadouse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See she has now realized that true friends are rare and you were one. It just unfortunate for her that it's too late. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't bother to respond. I am sure that you probably have forgiven her but consider this..........Is this someone who you need in your life?
2007-01-12 09:43:50 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋