Do you have problems trusting men? I ask this, because, although I have never been cheated on to my knowledge, I expect every man to be a capable and willing of doing it. From a psychological standpoint, it seems as though I have taken my mother's stance as the cheated upon (figuratively). Wonder if any other women out there have the same problem?
2007-01-12 00:45:48 · 16 answers · asked by nunya 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My father cheated on my mother several times. I will not live my life being scared you have to have faith. My first husband cheated on me who knows how many times but he left me for another woman however I still do not let that scare me. I am now married to my second husband he comes home on time he is here on the weekends I have no reason to be scared of him cheating on me. You just have to get to know the person better and if he still is a cheater then you just move on with your life without him there. Do not live your life scared.
2007-01-12 04:11:20 · answer #1 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... well, I had problems trusting men before I knew that my father cheated on my mother! But then she cheated on him too. Relationships are very complex and it's difficult to look into the heart of anyone else's marriage - even if it's difficult to believe, there's probably much more that went on on both sides with your parents than you realise. I do think all men are capable of cheating - but I think most women are too, given the right set of circumstances. On the other hand, a life without some element of trust is a sad life. All any of us can do is take individuals as we find them, hope for the best, and know that things don't always come up roses. You may be pleasantly surprised!
2007-01-12 00:54:01 · answer #2 · answered by Suzyshoes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know the details of the relationship of your mother and father. You don't why it happened. He may have had cause. Maybe she cheated and never got caught (women are like that :-) That said, your father is a person and his actions were that of an individual not of the male species. Men AND women cheat and if think all guys are like your father... well unless you are trying to marry your father I'd let it go. It's unfair and unreasonable to pin the actions of one man on the rest of mankind. Why paint us all with the same brush?
If you walk around with that expectation that's all you will find. It will be a self fulfilling prophecy. You'll look for every opportunity for an "I told you so" with a guy until you force him to do just so he can give you a reason for dumping on him so hard.
Have a talk with your father. Get it out in the open and move on.
Life is too short to look for ways to make yourself miserable. If you allow that to be your truth you will only attract negativity.
2007-01-12 01:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by Cybrocupid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every man *is* capable of cheating, but not all are willing. I don't think it's so much about trusting that your man won't do it, as it is a matter of knowing that even if he does cheat, you WILL survive. No one can take away your pride or self-respect unless you give it to them, so hold your head high and be a good woman - that'll help make your man not go looking somewhere else.
2007-01-12 01:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ali 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Initially your question was non-gendered. However I see now that it is slanted more toward females, then males. Realize that everyone has the proclivity toward cheating either male or female. You have been influenced by your mother's attitude toward your father. Look around and see how many marriages that you know of that there is no cheating in. You will find many like that. If you find some one that you want to spend your life with, remember that both of you are putting trust in the other to stay true.
2007-01-12 00:55:59 · answer #5 · answered by Beau R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father DID cheat on my mother, twice that I am aware of. I was 15 the first time he did I found the condoms in his truck and just didn't want to spend time with him anymore we use to do alot of things together like fishing, horseback ridding and such. When I was 17 he cheated again this time the lady was so in love with my father she went to my mom's work place they called her in off of patrol {she was a police officer} and the lady told my mother she was seeing my dad. My mother came home, told my father she knew and she packed her things and left. And she left us kids behind, she moved into a hotel but would drive by a few times a day to see if we were okay. Soon she came home they worked out their problems and everything was fine until we lost her unexpectedly. I have been cheated on once by this idiot who thought he was gods gift. No I don't think every man cheats, I think ALL human beings have the potential to cheat but they don't. Stop trying to always be the victim
2007-01-12 00:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by **Damn its cold up here** 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Women and men both do it, usually because they are not happy with the way things are at home,or they think the grass is greener on the other side. I personally would not stay with a man that cheats, under any circumstance
2007-01-12 00:54:30 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad cheated with my mother's best friend...they have now been married for about 17 yrs now. That happend when I was young so it didn't have an impact on me for trust in men but my first relationship did it for me.
2007-01-12 01:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes yes. I grew up being told that men "couldn't help it". I don't believe that's true anymore. Only an animal can't help it, human beings are capable of self-controll. I think alot of men have this misconception about themselves as well, which is a shame.
2007-01-12 00:50:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jessy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No because not everyman is the exact same...and it would be rude of me to start out the relationship not trusting him just because of someone elses past actions
Everyone deserves trust unless they prove that the cant be trusted
2007-01-12 02:13:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋